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Posts published in “About Music”

Creative Projects-July: One and A Half is better than Zero, or, Where is all this money from!?

July was a successful for month for me on both pursuits for this year.

Creatively, I put another The Black Laser Reads… out into the universe and managed to finally begin the redesign of the site. I didn’t finish the redesign until we had rolled over into August so it won’t count towards July, but does count for my overall year tally of getting things did. I am pretty psyched on that. Hopefully, if I can keep this momentum up, you’ll be seeing a year end summary where I can claim to have finished more than 100% of my allotted projects. Pretty good. Gets my juices going, that does.

It is also quite nice to have finally passed 50% of my allotment, with another 8.333% in the works. It’s not yet ready to be shared, but it will be done before the month ends so look for more about that when the time comes for my August summary.

In regards to my secondary goal for the year, July was great. I was quite good at sticking to my “don’t go drinking during the week” guideline which feels good. I’m sleeping well (except for the heat), waking up easily, feeling chipper in the morning, and I’m finding money in my pocket from the beginning of the week. It just stays there! That was welcome because, for a variety of reasons, July ended up being a fairly cash-strapped month for me. Finding money that I would have previously written off as history ended up being nice little reminders that I was successfully sticking to my plan. That’s good.

I’ve also been riding my bike around a bit. I quite like it and find that I am flying around like a lunatic whenever possible. Not recklessly, of course, but enough. Though the month of constantly threatening rain has dissuaded me from taking the bike out on more than one occasion. That’s a drag, but getting caught in whipping sheets of rain in the dark with the wind blowing your contacts out as you ride through traffic is less desirable. I’ll pick my battles there.

Overall, pretty positive month for me and, aside from some weirdo mental shit on and off that has little to do with my theme, feeling pretty good about it. I feel like I am developing a healthy pattern here of work, followed by work, followed by relaxing.

I’ll check back in on this business in a month.

LA is basically the worst place in the world for metal.

You read the headline. LA fucking sucks for good metal. Sure, it has its occasional standouts (early Fear Factory for one), but so much of what gets produced there is such filth that I want to claw my eyes out and drop a fucking bomb on the place. Worse is that there are bands from other places that emulate the LA scene and spread the cancer of shitty ass metal around the country.

Don’t believe me? Here’s an example of what LA brings to the metal scene.

What the fuck, LA. Fuck you and your bullshit. This is the worst thing ever.

Let me help you cleanse your palette a little with this gem by a band from about as far away from LA as you can get.

So much better.

My time with Spotify.

If you know me and we chat on the IMs or in meatspace, then you’ve probably heard me talk about how much I like Spotify. Likewise, if you’re from the United States and spend even a little bit of time on the old interwebs, then you’ve heard about it too. And, if you’re from Europe, you’ve probably had an account for like a hundred years so shut the fuck up and read another post, you sanctimonious bastards.

If you don’t know (oh my god, who are you???), Spotify is the coolest newest bestest streaming music service that has just landed on our shores. A Swedish company, Europe’s had it for a few years, but let’s just think that they’ve been beta testing it for that period of time in order to make sure it really shone when they finally released it to the US market. Thanks, Europe!

Basically, the idea is that Spotify is iTunes that is hosted elsewhere. That’s it. You’ve got an application that looks and behaves basically like iTunes does but none of the music is stored on your hard drive. Instead it lives in the cloud, and, as such, requires a constant internet connection which might have been a pain in the ass a few years ago, but now is basically the same as having electricity. Now, imagine that you have a friend that has some ridiculous iTunes collection on his hard of many hundreds of gigabytes. And imagine that you can share this friends iTunes library all the time. Pretty cool right? Now take a step further and imagine that your friend has more than 15 million songs in his (or her) library and that, when playing them, you are not limited to just listening, but you can create playlists, make favorites, and share with your friends. That’s what Spotify is. Pretty rad, right?

I had signed up for the beta months ago thinking, “Oh man, another thing to have an account for. Great.” But curiosity got the best of me and I gave them my e-mail address and forgot about it for a while. Then turntable.fm and grooveshark and whatever other crap came around and I thought the same thing, “Oh great, another thing to have an account for.” So I ignored them. Still am. But then my Spotify beta invite came in the e-mail and I decided to give it a chance. I signed up for a free account and installed their client software.

And I wasn’t that impressed, to be perfectly honest. Though the selection was excellent, I hated that they played ads every few minutes. Worse was that the ads were very poorly targeted. I’d be listening to some heavy ass shit (duh) and four songs in I’d get an ad for some bullshit radio country album coming out soon. What the fuck? Terrible. At least do me the service of targeting ads properly if you’re going to be shoving them down my throat. The banner ads all over the client weren’t so bad and were no more obtrusive than ads on a website, but the audio ads were the worst. I didn’t really get the appeal. I played with it a couple days, connected my Facebook to it, and then went back to my iTunes/iPod combo which has been serving me admirably for years.

Then one day I logged in again and I saw that someone had sent me an album. “Holy shit!” I thought, “you can send people music on this thing?!” I hadn’t even noticed that I had an inbox. My mind was officially blown. Moments later I was a Spotify Premium member and I haven’t regretted it even once since then. The selection is amazing, the lack of ads with a paid account is amazing (Hulu, I’m looking at you, asshole), and the ability to send my brother or friends music is fucking AWESOME. It totally eliminates the hassles of sharing via FTP or Dropbox or whatever and it means that I can discover new music and immediately share it with someone I think will enjoy it. That rules. That rules hard.

Now that I’ve praised it effusively, let me pick apart some of the things I think they can do better.

First, I’d like it to be easier to find people and friends. Sure, you can connect it to your Facebook, but I’d like some function to search for people directly. There must be people I know who are on this thing who aren’t on Facebook or who haven’t connected their two accounts. It would make sense.

Second, I wish there was a better radio functionality. Yes, I am happy as a pig in shit with my thousands and thousands of songs in various playlists and I love being able to subscribe to other people’s playlists so they can curate, but sometimes I just want to turn the streaming thingie on and let someone else make those decisions for me. It would be a nice way to discover new music I might be overlooking.

Third, I would like there to be some easy way of browsing for new music instead of relying solely on the search function. It would be nice to be able to browse by artists alphabetically or by genre, by label, by year, by whatever. You get the idea. Instead of having to think of a band and then finding it, I’d like to be able to click around and stumble on things. Sure, you can find new bands through the “Related Artists” tab on a band’s profile, but the choices are typically few.

An addendum to that point—call it 3A—I would like to be have Spotify recommend artists to me based on what I am listening to. Let’s not fool ourselves, I understand that Spotify is tracking the HELL out of what I am listening to and reporting it to labels along with my generic personal info (male, lives in New York, 29, blah blah blah et cetera), and I am fine with that. But at least make it worthwhile to me and use the information about my listening habits to help me find new tunes. It’s not much too ask and I think it would enhance the service, especially because I am paying ten bucks a month for it.

Fifth, I wish the client application allowed for more playlist view customization. I’d like to be able to list by genre and year in my playlists so that I can start my Deicide playlist and listen chronologically through their oeuvre. Unfortunately for them, this means they’d also have to go through their considerable body of music and make sure that everything has its year tagged properly, which many records currently do not.

I think that’s everything. Overall my list is comprised of niggles and nothing at all that would destroy the user experience. If Spotify came through and added all those things, they wouldn’t be fixing something broken; they’d be enhancing something that is already totally awesome.

There you have it. 1200 words on why I like Spotify and why I think you would too. Interested in following me on Spotify and listening to my awesome playlists? Of course you are. Click the link below.

Follow me on Spotify

There you go. Come listen to Black Metal with me

Death Metal Sunday – Hate Eternal, Origin, Vital Remains, and Abysmal Dawn

Last night, I went to see Hate Eternal with Origin, Vital Remains, and Abysmal Dawn at Santos Party House here in New York City. What, you don’t know all those bands? Where have you been?

It was a lovely Sunday evening and the metalheads were out in force. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a proper death metal show before, but they are an event in a league of their own. I go to shows and usually end up getting super pissed off at the crowd of idiot drunkards who don’t have any real sense of how to behave at a show. You get dudes just pushing their way through a crowd or chicks getting all pissed when you are unavoidably shoved up against them. Really, you just get the whole gamut of asshole behavior. I’ve always felt that the broader a band’s appeal, the more poorly behaved the crowd tends to be. For example, when I went to see Chromeo earlier this year at Terminal 5, the crowd behaved so reprehensibly that it ruined my entire night. Some shithead even threw an entire drink onto my head from the balcony. Way to enjoy the show, asshole.

As such, you’d expect nothing but the most horrible behavior imaginable at a death metal show, but you’d be absolutely wrong. Because it’s such a niche genre, people go to the shows because they love it not to get fucked up or hit on girls or just be fucking worthless pricks. The sense of camaraderie at a show like that is palpable. You’re never fucked with, never bothered. People are unerringly polite, no one shoves you to get past. Metalheads know a little trick (which I learned at metal shows) I like to call “the small of the back touch”. It works all the time every time and no one gets pissed off at it. It’s show magic.

Great crowd of folks there last night who were psyched as hell to enjoy the punishing death metal onslaught the night held in wait. No doubt they were all pleased with what they received. Let’s talk about the bands!

Abysmal Dawn

Robbie and I arrived at the venue just as Abysmal Dawn were starting their set so I didn’t really get to hear more than a few songs from these guys. I don’t know the band’s music that well, but what I heard I liked. Just a bunch of no-nonsense death metal by a bunch of dudes from LA. I am interested to pick up their latest release and give it a listen. I’ll revisit this topic another time.

Vital Remains

Vital Remains was my first surprise of the night. They were another band I knew nothing about, but after watching their set I wondered why I hadn’t been a fan of theirs until that moment. With their dogged adherence to old school death metal stylings, how could I not be a fan? I would definitely go see those guys play again.

Origin

Origin is a technical death metal band about whom I’ve always had mixed feelings. As much as I like the insane layers of complexity they build into their music, I’ve always felt that the records were too sterile, too clean. It’s like they’d gotten so technical, that all the groove had been taken out of the music. I’ve commented before here that owning one Origin record is basically the same as owning all of them.

After seeing them perform live I am inclined to revisit my opinion of their recorded material. On stage they were dynamic, brutal, and utterly crushing in a way I did not expect from them. The lead singer really knew how to work the crowded into a hair swinging frenzy that was frankly quite amazing coming from a band I expected nothing of. Well, call me stupid, but Origin kicked fucking ass live. If, like me, you’ve taken a pass on Origin because they’ve seemed to sterile, give them a chance live. The show will change your mind. I might even say they put on the best performance of the whole night. I like Hate Eternal more, but you cannot deny that Origin brought their A-Game last night.

Hate Eternal

Holy fucking shit.

Hate Eternal is the only reason I went to the show in the first place. I didn’t know anything about Abysmal Dawn or Vital Remains and I was not excited to see Origin. Luckily, I was wrong about all that stuff, but the point stands that Hate Eternal was my entire reason for being there. I am convinced that they are the single best death metal band on the scene today. Erik Rutan is constantly pushing the limits of what can be accomplished in a well-worn music arena. Their most recent record, Phoenix Amongst The Ashes, is brilliant, as brilliant as any death metal record I’ve ever heard. I am a fan.

To finally see Hate Eternal perform for my first time was mind-blowing. You will never see such unbridled joy on my face as you will during a really great metal show and Hate Eternal had me beaming. When they played “Bringer of Storms,” I nearly exploded. I couldn’t bang my head hard enough.

Honestly I have nothing terribly smart to say about Hate Eternal. They fucking rule and you should go see them and listen to their records and be a fan and stop being such a god damned pussy about it. Seriously. Hate Eternal is awesome.

And one final note, I saw this shirt last night. Best shirt ever.

Creative Projects-June: Oh, Christ, again?!, or, Hello, velocipede.

It’s July 5th now and…wait. What the fuck? Where did June go?! Did this happen again?! Oh Christ. I had a whole month to accomplish something, yet my tally for projects for this year still stands at 4 of 12. Pathetic! Sure, it was a busy month at work and I did a lot of good stuff there, but none of that counts! Curses!

In other news, I’ve done quite well, I think, in pursuit of my other goal of slowing my roll. I’ve not been going out during the week, a new thing for me I assure you. I’m sleeping well, money stays in my pocket, and I feel good. All that is great.

I bought a bike this weekend and I am very excited about it. Not only did I fulfill a goal I set for myself last summer, but it feels damned good to ride around zipping past people. It should come as no surprise that I ride my bicycle like I walk: fast as hell. Why go slowly?!

In summary, not a lot to say this month. Hopefully July is more productive now that I’m feeling nice and easy about not drinking on school nights. Even a single drink is an impediment to my ability to produce creative work and staying dry will help. At the end of June I thought I would not be working again until Ford comes back mid-August and was looking forward to having a bunch of empty days to fill with projects and things, but last week I got all booked up. Good for my pocket book, not good for my free time. I’d rather be working than not, though, so it’s all right in the end.

I’m two behind at this point and something needs to give. My brain is not very creative these days and about the only thing I can think of is jokes in 140 characters or less. Summer time is a tough, stupid time for me. This is going to be tough.

Stay tuned, Black Laserites!

RIP Seth Putnam, a list of my favorite A.C. song titles

As I am sure you all know by now, Seth Putnam, lead vocalist from legendary, asshole, grindcore band Anal Cunt, has died. AC (as they were known around people who find the word “cunt” offensive) were a profound influence in my life as a young metal head. Here were a bunch of guys making absurdly heavy, dissonant grind who obviously didn’t take themselves seriously at all. This stood in stark contrast to the other guys who were making absurdly heavy, dissonant metal who obviously took themselves pretty damn seriously indeed. If you’re a metal head (and I hope you are), then you know what I am talking about.

To celebrate the life and career of a man who wrote some of my favorite under 1 minute long songs, here is a list of some of my favorite Anal Cunt song titles in no particular order.

  • I Respect Your Feelings As A Woman And A Human
  • MTV Is My Source For New Music
  • “Well You Know, Mean Gene…”
  • Brutally Morbid Axe of Satan
  • You Must Be Wicked Underground If You Own This
  • Our Band Is Wicked Sick (We Have The Flu)
  • Selling Out By Having Song Titles On The Album
  • Pepe, The Gay Waiter
  • Living Colour Is My Favorite Black Metal Band
  • Don’t Call Japanese Hardcore Japcore
  • Foreplay With a Tree Shredder
  • Old Lady Across The Hall With No Life
  • You Look Divorced
  • I Hope You Get Deported
  • 311 Sucks
  • You Went To See Dishwalla And Everclear (You’re Gay)
  • You’re a Fucking Cunt
  • You’re A Trendy Fucking Pussy
  • Your Family Is Dumb
  • Van Full of Retards
  • You’ve Got No Friends
  • You Own A Store
  • You Are An Interior Decorator
  • You Have Goals
  • Being A Cobbler Is Dumb
  • Your Kid Is Deformed
  • You Go To Art School
  • Your Best Friend Is You
  • Ha Ha, Your Wife Left You
  • You Live In A Houseboat

Here are a couple of jams from Anal Cunt’s weird-as-fuck career.

Oh, Anal Cunt, I wouldn’t trade all the years of hilarious song titles you’ve given for anything. You will be missed, even if you were a fucked up, misanthrophic, junkie asshole. RIP Seth.

In honor of the passing of Dr. Kevorkian, here’s some Acid Bath

Jack Kevorkian died yesterday at the age of 83. You all know who he was: the infamous Dr. Death, proponent of assisted suicide, inventor of the suicide machine, and… a painter and jazz musician? Yup. He painted some grotesque, disturbing works in his day. And released a jazz flute record.

What you might not know if that the painting above on Acid Bath’s 1996 metal masterpiece Paegan Terrorism Tactics is a painting by Kevorkian called “For He Is Raised.” If any of you love me, you’ll follow that link and get me a print. Really.

In honor of the passing of a man who I think genuinely helped those in need, here are a few of my favorite tracks from Paegan Terrorism Tactics.

[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/02-Bleed-Me-An-Ocean.mp3|titles=Bleed Me An Ocean|artists=Acid Bath] [audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/05-Locust-Spawning.mp3|titles=Locust Spawning|artists=Acid Bath] [audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/08-Venus-Blue.mp3|titles=Venus Blue|artists=Acid Bath] [audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/audio/ab_dead_girl.mp3|titles=Dead Girl|artists=Acid Bath]

Enjoy. I had a very hard time picking just four songs to share with you. Paegan Terrorism Tactics is easily one of my all-time favorite metal albums.

Creative Projects-May: Getting back into the roll, or, Where did April go?!

Ok, right off the old proverbial bat, let us all address my biggest failing of the last month: no Creative Projects-April post. What the hell happened to that? Why have I failed you, my loyal readers, so dearly?! How could I possibly ever make it up to you and continue to enjoy your (conditional) love?!? I blame myself and a couple of other reasons. First, I didn’t actually do anything creative on a personal level in April. Sure, there were blog posts about music videos and some other crap who knows what it was about, but I didn’t engage in any real creative pursuits in the month so I was pretty embarrassed about that, especially since I didn’t accomplish a damned thing in March either. Work on the WBDPE hadn’t continued—though the project has not been abandoned—since it might end up taking a change in direction. I had some other writing ideas that never panned out because I was a stupid asshole for a lot of the month. And then, to wrap up my spat of excuses, I was in Lons Smangeles for a couple weeks working on a big old Ford job which I brought back to NY and kept me busy into May. Add to that a few other jobbie jobs here at No6 and it was actually a pretty busy month for me.

Excuses. Excuses. Excuses. So many excuses.

I know it. And, part of this year’s theme, is that professional projects don’t really count, so, though I actually was pretty creative in April, none of it counts toward my tally. They’re my rules and I’ll stand by them.

But May was better! I completed two (2) creative projects which helps make up for the big zeros (0s) in March and April. Let’s discuss them, shall we?

1st – The inaugural The Black Laser Reads. I’d been talking and thinking about and planning this project for a long time, so it felt particularly sweet to execute it. I have the next one planned out and intend to start it tonight when I get home. It will keep me from going to the bar! For a while! Woo woo.

2nd – Two (2) Get Drunk Tonights for Vox Critica. This one is pretty funny because it flies right in the face of this year’s secondary theme of slowing my roll. But the write-ups are fun and good and I think they do a good job of communicating something about me: I have strong opinions about bars. I am not a ranter or a raver (love me some house music though) and you’ll notice that most of the writing about personal stuff here on The Black Laser isn’t long-winded blocks of opinion and information. Some people are really good about that sort of thing and actually have really decent, smart things to say and I enjoy reading them. I have tremendous respect for people who can sit an organize their thoughts into coherent, concise articles about things. People who analyze and consider and weigh data and topics and other opinions and the ramifications of some event or predict the ways things might go based on limited information.

I am not one of those people.

When I get excited, my whole opinion of something can be boiled down to, “That’s awesome!! YEEEAHHHHHH!!!!” and that’s it. I don’t objectively criticize or evaluate or break things down. I’m just full-bore, head-down, running at the wall because I’m stoked on how it makes my head feel to impact the bricks. Even when I don’t like something, my opinions usually akin to, “Sure, I didn’t like this and this, and that other thing was pretty whack, but I guess it’s ok. They clearly worked pretty hard on it.” I basically have to either love something or absolutely abhor it to have strong opinions. As it turns out, I have pretty strong opinions about bars. Who’d have thought? (answer: everyone.)

Writing the Get Drunk Tonights might be the only opinion piece I am capable of writing with any regularity. There are just so many bars out there and I have thoughts about every single one of them. Want to know how I feel about The Woods? Or Union Pool? Or Ace Bar? Niagra? Lakeside Lounge? Off the Wagon? The Mark Bar? Barcade? Duff’s? Pencil Factory? Lulu’s? Alligator Lounge? McDougal Street Ale House? Enid’s? Bar Matchless? 119 Lounge? Motor City? Max Fish? More?!?!?! SO MANY MORE?!?!?! I could easily write you a recommendation for any of those bars in a heartbeat. Well, some of them might not be a recommendation, more of a gentle (not gentle) warning against going there, but the point stands.

Even if it contradicts this year’s secondary theme, I think this is and will continue to be a good outlet for me and a way to help me learn to recommend things to people without just saying, “Dude, what the fuck that place is so awesome!”

Now, what about my stated secondary goal of slowing my roll? April and May were complete fucking washes on that count. After my masterful March, I bounced right back in my stupid old patterns of partying too much. Where are my healthy outlets? Where is my motivation to stay home? Where is my motivation for moderation? Guh. It’s getting bad too. I’m being an asshole to people while drunk that I wouldn’t be normally and I find that very distressing. It makes me feel like a real son of a bitch. I’ve always struggled with being a stupid, arrogant prick. I feel like it is something I’ve wrangled when my brain is firing all cylinders, but once in a while too much purple drank and I turn into a raging prick asshole motherfucker and have to hear about it afterwards from people, usually sending me into a few days of crippling self-doubt, which is kind of a funny way for it to turn out. Not funny haha, funny ironic. Oh, the guilt isn’t nice either. It’s a quite annoying cycle of feel good about myself/drink/do something horrible/hate myself. Why do I do this bullshit all the time? Am I bored? Hopelessly fucked up? Can I learn to moderate? Or should I just lay off all together? And let’s not talk about how much I hate blacking out. Sorry, mom.

We’ll see if June can be better. I just have to stay engaged with some projects, hide out from the heat at home, and keep my head forward. Overall, good creative month, shitty slowing my roll months. Let’s see if we can have both at the same time!! Yay, June!