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Month: December 2008 (page 1 of 5)

I like this photo of me and Juli

That’s all. It’s nice. There are some better ones on my drive at home, but this one is pretty good.

The Metric System – Naïveté party photos

The ultimate yield from the party photos I took was something like 441 usable photos. In the selection process I basically only rejected photos that had some major technical defect (soft focus, bad exposure, horrible). Usually I only pick and process photos I like, which would have probably cut this set in half or even a third, but since these pictures are for The Metric System to use as press I went ahead a left in a bunch of technically fine, artistically lacking photos.

Because there are so many, I’m only putting the first 35 into this post. A link to the whole set follows. I encourage you to check it out since the real party pictures don’t start until well into the triple digits.

The Metric System – Naïveté @ Flickr

The Black Laser Mailing List

For all my non-RSS enlightened admirers out there in Cyberspace, I’ve added a mailing list to The Black Laser which will update you, via e-mail, every single time I feel fit to bless the interwebs with my wit and wisdom. Isn’t that just great?

I’ve placed an entry box permanently (well, as permanently as I can, since, really, what is permanent? Nothing.) in the sidebar to the right. See it? It’s a little box with two options beneath for subscribing and unsubscribing. Fun!

And, in case you can’t bear to shift your eyes slightly to the right from this mind-blowing, heart-rending prose, I’m putting one in this post too.

BECAUSE I CAN.

For those of you firmly embedded in the now, here’s an RSS feed if you’ve missed it.

The Black Laser RSS

Perhaps the greatest single piece of advertising ever made?

I work in advertising post-production. I know commercials. I have worked on many commercials for companies you have heard of and, perhaps, patronized. So, it is with some gravitas that I pronounce this to be the finest piece of advertising I have ever seen in my life. Watch and be amazed.

Eastern Europe is a surreal place.

The Black Laser Christmas Tree

I was dicking around with Wordle (Wordle.net) and I came up with this gem.

blacklasertree

It looks all Christmas-y and shit, but laced within its pagan boughs lies true evil! MWAHAHAHAHAHA. Awesome.

Daily routine

I am not a daily routine kind of person. I wish I was. I would love to learn how to have that sort of discipline. I’m sure I would get more done. Unfortunately, flying by the seat of my pants has worked out well enough for me so far that I have no great pressing reason to change, no matter how much my brain knows it’s a good idea to approach my work with a more regimented schedule. It’s kind of stressful knowing that I would be better off having a work schedule, but not having the discipline to enact it for longer than a few weeks at the most. Where does one learn this skill of self-discipline? Is it something inate? If that’s the case, I’m fucked. I’ve never been a good self-motivator and I am too easily distracted by whatever the hell is going on around me. Even right now, I’ve written, what?, eight sentences?, and already I want to get up and walk around and blah blah blah blah. What’s that shit about?

If it’s not innate, where can I learn it? Again, my history of getting by winging it about 95% of the time doesn’t help at all. Winging it is great when I have to fix the Avid or cut together an animatic for clients, but not so great for more serious work. I’ve got this built in perception that if I can’t nail it right away, that’s it’s either a) fucked or b) a shitty idea to begin with. Neither of those are very helpful for seeing something through to the end. How do I unlearn that unconscious tendency? How do I learn to feel good about the work I do so I can stand behind it and continue until it be thoroughly finished? I am always impressed with my friend Jesse who has this seemingly limitless capacity for sitting down and just hacking through what needs to be hacked through like a champion. It has certainly paid off for him thus far. Where the hell do I learn that shit?

This is something I think about a lot. It’s probably my major struggle as a creative person—how do I continue to create when I already have a fairly full schedule? How can I be a creative person? How can I be a productive person? How can I produce? Oh how these questions taunt me! I had it going for a minute earlier this month, but it’s lapsed again. I need to figure out how to get it going for longer than a week or two.

If you, humble reader, are like me, then it will be inspiring to you to read about other creative people and how they schedule themselves to create. Daily Routines – How writers, artists, and other interesting people organize their days. I really like Saul Bellow and Ingmar Bergman’s routines.

A list of things that DO and DO NOT combine well

Here are some things I think mix well.

  • Brown gravy and cranberry sauce.
  • Tater tots and honey roasted peanuts.
  • Grind and electro.
  • Sopressata and goat cheese.

Here are some things I think mix poorly.

  • Genitals and zippers.
  • Yams and marshmallows.

Expect further updates to this list in the future.

On a completely unrelated note, here is a photo of me from just a moment ago. I am wearing Sue’s amazing Christmas sweater.

photo-53

Santa, “The Great Imposter”

santa_as_satanIn the wake of the Christmas holiday, I wonder how many of you fully understand the true threat of Santa Claus. Obviously, Santa, as a clear anagram of SATAN, is the Great Deceiver in disguise, leading our youth into degeneracy and sin. Santa wears red; Satan wears red. Santa goes by the moniker “Old St. Nick”; Satan goes by the moniker “Old Nick”. Santa has a beard; Satan has a beard. Truth be told, the parallels are far too many and too clear to be anything but the honest truth. Here, hard, cold logic prevails in proving that Santa Claus and Satan are THE ONE AND THE SAME—the Prince of Darkness, the Lord of Flies, The Great Deceiver, Beelzebub, Lucifer.

Don’t believe me? Well, get the full low-down right here:

SANTA CLAUS: The Great Imposter

I think my favorite piece of “logic” from the page I’ve linked is this:

What about Claus?

Is “Claus” another anagram for “Lucas”?

It’s no secret Lucas and Lucis are new-age “code words” for Lucifer. The Alice Bailey founded new age, occult publishing company was originally named Lucifer Publishing Company but in 1924 the name was cleverly changed to Lucis Trust. By the way, the Lucifer worshipping Lucis Trust is a major player in the works of the United Nations, formerly located in the United Nations building but now located on prime-time 1200 Wall Street.

Claus sounds a lot like “claws.”

Maybe Santa Claus means “Satan’s Claws”? Like a lion’s “claws”?

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
1 Peter 5:8

The emphasis is mine. What sterling, marvelous reasoning is presented here! Clearly “Claus” is just a secret, “new-age” (code for lesbian witch satanists who hate America) way of conjuring the Devil’s name: Lucifer. Duh. I mean, isn’t it obvious? Anyone can see the truth in that!

Here’s another marvelous gem of deductive reasoning.

Everyone knows Santa lives at the North Pole.

Brrr. . . Why the north pole? Nobody lives at the North Pole. . . Why did they pick the NORTH Pole?

Could it possibly be because someone else lives in the north?

Then he brought me to the door of the gate of the LORD’S house which was toward the north; . . . Ezekiel 8:14

1 Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised in the city of our God, in the mountain of his holiness.
2 Beautiful for situation, the joy of the whole earth, is mount Zion, on the sides of the north, the city of the great King. Psalm 48:1-2

The Lord dwells in “the north, the city of the great King”.

By the way, remember what Lucifer said in Isaiah 14:13, when he rebelled against God? Remember where he was going to exalt his throne?

12 How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!
13 For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:
14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High. Isaiah 14:12-14

Where else would Satan (oops. . . it’s just too easy to get those two mixed up) Claus be but in the NORTH?

Oh, jeez, of course! Santa live in the North Pole, and Satan, who wants to be like God, ALSO LIVES IN THE NORTH. Therefore they are the same person! Wow! I can’t believe I never recognized this before.

Well, now that all you good boys and girls are saved by hearing the Good News I have relayed to you here, remember that Christmas time is a time for remembering Christ (who was not born in December) by decorating a cold weather evergreen tree (not native to Israel), giving gifts (like the Magi, I’ll give you this), and surrounding yourself with northern European symbols of winter (zuh?) and the solstice! It is not a time to revere the heathen image of Santa (SATAN) Claws for he is naught but the Devil himself in Disguise!

Don’t forget kids, Jesus loves you and he wants you to hate those that are different, i.e., non-white, non-Protestant, both of which categories the historical Jesus falls under!

Merry Christmas!