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Tag: Troll

This is the single most adorable comment I’ve ever received.

For some reason, I tend to get a lot of hits on a post I wrote in January 2010 about New Old School Death Metal. It’s one of the top hits on google when searching for “New Old School Death Metal”. I guess people dig that. That’s cool. Once in a while I get a comment from someone who has read and they are always really positive or they’ll suggest something I hadn’t thought of. I like those. People are nice.

But today I got this comment.

Isn’t that cute?!

This is my very first (!) hateful comment here on The Black Laser. It feels good, kind of like I arrived. I appreciate what he said, too, and now I have a bunch of new bands to check out which is fun. I don’t know what “morrisound” means, but I immediately thought of Morrissey, which is pretty cool. I love The Smiths, especially when I am feeling sad. I suppose he could have been nicer in his comment, but this is the internet, where anonymous communications turns everyone into the kind of asshole they’d never actually be in real life. Regardless, I guess I am just some metalhead hobbyist who believes that the excessive splitting of metal into subgenres is kind of stupid. Oh well!

Luckily for us, this fellow who goes by the handle “Nietzsche Tzu” provided a link to his Facebook account. That’s pretty neat. Do you want to see what he looks like? Sure you do.

Pretty tough. The hammer is a nice touch. I imagine that there are many nails out there who are very afraid when Mr. Tzu comes for them. Honestly, though, I think I prefer his more sensitive side.

Awwwww. Nice. Now that’s a face you want to talk to when you’re stressed out and feeling down. Unfortunately, his description of himself doesn’t seem to quite back up how sensitive he looks in the photo.

Oh no! Sounds like someone needs to be hugged before he’s ready to hug other people. Let’s look at his favorite activities…

I think maybe he needs to replace one of his two “Fighting”s with at least one “Hugging” and maybe add a “Rage management” to the list. Probably a good idea to knock “Intelligent Critical Debate” off the list, too. We’ve seen his lovely attempt at that. But maybe I’m being a bit of a dick here. I only know what he chose to present in a few brief sentences. Maybe he’s a really nice guy, out there in Austin, Texas. Funny side note, he’s from San Jose, CA which is only about 20 minutes from where I grew up. Wow!

So, thanks for reading, Mr. Tzu. I hope you’ve enjoyed your time here at The Black Laser. I work hard to make sure it’s an interesting, lively place for people to visit and maybe see or hear or read something new.

And, for fun, here’s my favorite death metal band.

Bonus points, Mr. Tzu if you can tell me in the comments what I am referencing. Cool!

UPDATE!!!!! \\\\\\\\\\\

After I posted this, Mr. Tzu commented in reply to me on the original post. Awesome!

Here’s how I dealt with it.

Click the image to see the whole thread!

“Please pray for my cousin Carlton and my uncle Phil.”

Bonus points for the sneaky Rick Roll.

This is either genius or insane. I am not yet sure which.

If you get to the end, like I did, of the whole 8 minutes and wonder, “Why did I just watch this?” then you get a cookie. I hope that we soon find out that this is the most brilliant piece of trolling since Basil Marceaux. I mean, the hair cut? Alternatively, I’d like to find out that this guy is just the product of too many dark Finnish winters. Either way I’d be happy.

I have arrived.

If you had to think about it, and I mean, really, what is the most important qualification for a blog to be considered worthwhile? That it gets spam? No. Your grandma gets spam. It’s that you have a troll. Well guess what?! The Black Laser has had it’s first troll!

Apparently, a young person didn’t like what I had to say about Hyper Crush the other day. Here, let me quote it for you.

oneup fuckyou@gmail.com
Submitted on 2009/10/07 at 7:25pm

hyper crush is the truth! i was listening to what you had to say until you put up uffie and whatever else trainwreck wanna be atari teenage riot bullshit.

uffie is the worst lyracist[sic] ever. literally.

but i guess thats why no one reads this blog and i guess thats why i wont either!

The editorial [sic] is mine. Also, please note the inappropriate use of “literally”.

Here’s what I wrote back.

The Wizard
Submitted on 2009/10/07 at 7:27pm

Haha! Thanks for visiting! How’s Irvine this time of year, fuckyou@gmail.com? I’m surprised they let you register that e-mail address! I guess you showed them!

Wasn’t that fun? And really, isn’t even discussing this whole thing just SO postmodern?

One extra, just because he was such a fan of Agoraphobic Nosebleed, here’s some more!