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A collection of Time Travel-themed cooking show recipes.

Charles:

  • moebius tortilla strip soups
  • Emmet Brown Gravy
  • Paradoxtail Soup
  • oyakodon (killing your grandfather)
  • Bok Choi the Future
  • 12 Monkey Lime Pie
  • Le Jetee and Cake
  • Bill and Ted’s Egg Salad Adventure
  • the butterball effect
  • Donnie Dark Meat
  • Ground Chuck Day
  • The Philadelphia Cream Cheese Experiment
  • Terminator 2: Fudgement Day
  • Freejack and Coke (cocktails!)
  • prince of persia: the naan of time

Me:

  • Morlock Burgers.
  • Flux Capacitor Carpaccio.
  • Emmet Brown Gravy and (I didn’t finish because we both wrote it at the same time)
  • H.G. Wellington.
  • Black Hole Pudding.
  • The Sound of Thunder Nachos.
  • Time Bandits & Cream.
  • Bacon to The Future.
  • Thyme Bandits
  • Bill and Ted’s Bogus Jerkey.
  • Tart Trek : Generations.

Philip Roland’s “Hey. Jackass.”

A few days ago, a friend sent me quite a funny list from a Tumblr called Philip Roland Is Going to the Moon. She told me it reminded her of me and I told her that it reminded me of me too.

Generally, it’s actually pretty good advice. There were a few that stood out for me.

— You will always get the door, offer your seat, and do the dishes. And you will do so without a moment’s hesitation.

— Coffee. Black. That’s it.

— It’s simple, really: If you’re going up the escalators, stand behind her, and if you’re going down, stand in front of her. You are there to break her fall. Similarly, when outdoors, walk on the side closest to the street. A man acts as her buffer.

— A real man understands the equality of women at home and in the workplace. Nevertheless, a real man knows his number one priority is to protect her, and that someone who works against that is not a man.

— He knows that there is more to a woman than her breasts, her butt, her legs. When he loves her, he loves all of her. This is not a sacrifice for the greater good: He is genuinely and painfully enraptured with her ankles, her throat, the way her shoulder blades poke against the tight fabric of her shirt and how the crescents of her collarbones curve in dim light. He worships her knees, her fingers, her toes and the alien topography of her ears. He is ensorcelled by this soul of a woman. A man is his own creature but, at the same time, completely and utterly hers.

And there were a couple I completely disagree with.

— A real man does not dance. Unless he has to. And if he has to, a real man knows how to.

— Never forget the prefix “Man” in “Man Tears.” Occasions when they are permitted: Anytime during Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down, the climax in 300 and Boromir’s death in Lord of the Rings. Occasions when they are strictly forbidden: Crowning the new American Idol or during any movie that isn’t Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down, 300 or Lord of the Rings.

A real man DOES dance because a real man does not worry that he will look stupid in front of others when dancing is appropriate. A real man DOES NOT cry at films. Ever.

Check out the rest of the list here: Hey. Jackass.

Death Metal Lyric or William Blake Quote?

I stole this from McSweeney’s. I’m not this clever.

1. “Drive your cart and your plow over the bones of the dead.”

2. “We are Satan’s generation.”

3. “As I was walking among the fires of hell, delighted.”

4. “The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.”

5. “The child of burning time has gone. He hasn’t come back.”

6. “Flames of profligacy, naked bodies flowing in the stream of wild dreams.”

7. “The original Archangel or possessor of the command of the heavenly host, is called the Devil.”

8. “The sulphur-kingdom, purgatory, hell`s damnation, no man will be perditioned for all time.”

9. “Sooner murder an infant in its cradle than nurse unacted desires.”

10. “Every man is therefore guilty of all the good he did.”

The key is here. How many did you get right?

A (day-late) Thanksgiving post

Because I was too incapacitated with turkey yesterday to sit down at the computer and actually type anything out, here is my day-late list of the things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving in no real order, though I am more thankful for some things than others. See if you can figure out which ones! It’s like a game!

  • Family. Duh.
  • Friends.
  • Metal.
    [audio:sacrificial_suicide.mp3]
    [audio:torture_ballad.mp3|artists=Pig Destroyer|titles=Torture Ballad]
    [audio:by_demons_be_driven.mp3]
  • Cormac McCarthy.
  • Mexican food.
  • Chicken & dumplings.
  • Going for walks.
  • Having Friday (i.e., today) off.
  • Robots.
  • Wizards.
  • Unicorns.
  • Ninjas.
  • Dax Riggs.
    [audio:forgot_i_was_alive.mp3]
    [audio:ab_dead_girl.mp3]
  • Sausage.
  • Cast iron cookware.
  • Bacon.
  • Beer. (I miss you.)

If you didn’t call your important people yesterday, call them today. A day late is better than not at all.