Search Results for “round” – Page 9

The cat game.

December 26, 2012 |

I play a game with Sarah that has no name and very few rules. In fact, it might have only one rule, a rule which I have imposed upon the game myself: no repeats. Everything else is fair, but repeats are expressly forbidden. You see, what I do is every day around when I think she has a little lull in her day before peak-stress, I send her a funny cat photo.

The cat photos can be anything: funny cats in costumes, cute kittens, dumb looking cats, kids holding cats up like The Lion King, whatever. The only thing dictating the cat photo is my taste…and whether or not I think she’s going to like it. Therein lies the game.

See, I never really know what she’s going to like. I suspect, I estimate, I gamble, but I am never entirely sure if she is going to like one photo more than another. Some choices are more obvious than others, but there’s always a risk.

Because I am never sure, I’ve collected a huge variety of cat photos from all over the internet. Then I dole them out, one at a time, when I think the moment is appropriate.

I almost never get direct feedback on the game. I only know if I’ve hit a home run one of two ways. 1 – She posts the photo to someone else’s Facebook. 2 – She changes the lockscreen photo on her iPhone. The most common is the latter. Both make me feel like a complete winner.

So. The folder of used cats on my phone grows and grows (remember, no repeats is the only rule), and finding myself amazed at the myriad idiot, adorable cat photos the internet produces. It’s amazing. And startling. And a little bit scary. But they are out there, just waiting to be sent.

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Thoughts on getting engaged.

December 22, 2012 |

Thoughts

During the night of October 30th, as we watched John Carpenter’s 1978 horror classic Halloween and hurricane Sandy raged outside devastating coastal parts of the city I call home, I asked my girlfriend Sarah to marry me. As the main theme from the film played in the background, I showed her the ring and told her that is was important to me that she know that no matter what happened that I would be there for her. That I was not going anywhere. That she could rely on me. I wanted her to know that no petty squabble or disagreement or fight was going to scare me away. I said some other, more personal things I won’t repeat here, but in the end her eyes welled up, she said yes, and put on the ring.

I texted my mom and she texted hers. Our moms were excited for us. The next day I was making my way through my myriad siblings and immediate family members when I saw that she had changed our Facebook status which led to a couple, “OMG U R ENGAGED?!?” texts. I followed those up with phone calls and felt satisfied that everyone knew and I could get back to finding out what the hell turmoil the hurricane had caused. Unfortunately, I completely forgot to tell my brother Patrick and he didn’t find out until I invited the whole family to the engagement party. Sorry, Patrick.

Overall the response was incredibly positive. Many congratulations, many ZOMGs, many questions about the date (we don’t know yet, chill out), but overall the weirdest reaction I got was, “Is this for real?”

Yes, god damn it, it’s for real. And if it wasn’t, it is an incredibly unfunny joke. Why would I lead people I care about to believe I’d gotten engaged as a joke? That is so rude. Granted, I post almost nothing on Facebook that reflects my real feelings about things or are indicative of my real character. For me, Facebook is a place to make jokes and fuck with people. Who takes that shit seriously? Why would I post something serious about myself there? So, yeah, I see where people were coming from, but I found the response (which came from a number of people) incredibly odd. Not enraging, just weird. I am not mad, it just stood out as a curiosity. Whatevers.

Regardless of how some people reacted, I am really excited about it. The idea of getting married was always a scary one. What if I picked the wrong person? Would I get bored? Do I secretly hate this woman? That sort of thinking was certainly the block in my last serious relationship. I could never imagine myself married to the woman I was with—through no fault of hers—so we stayed in this stupid holding pattern for years. In retrospect, she and I would have both been much better off ending the relationship halfway through the 7 years we ended up spinning in circles. But, hell, live and learn, right?

I knew this time that is was the right decision when the thought of marrying Sarah produced none of those questions in my oh-so-worry-prone brain. Sure, I was nervous and excited, but who wouldn’t be? The important thing was that there was no fear mixed into the emotional stew involved with this sort of decision. That was the key.

I remember the moment I initially knew I was going to marry this woman. I was in Los Angeles working on a Ford job. I spent the day with friends drinking beers, spent some time in the emergency room, went back to drinking beers, met my other friends, and then went to a very late dinner. As I was sitting with Paul and Ariel in some diner somewhere half nodding off, half picking at the food in front of me, I was talking talking talking about this girl I had been seeing. She’s so this! She’s so that! I described her to them as “smart and funny and beautiful and a little bit mean, in the right way.” Ariel laughed and told me that was pretty much how she would describe me too. And I said, “Fuck it, you know, I’m just going to marry this girl and bring her out here to California and it’s going to be awesome!” Then I fell asleep for a moment. When I woke up a moment later, still at the table, I remember thinking, Huh, well that wasn’t very scary. I guess it’s a good idea.

Besides, I really like her.

I suppose the 16 months between the dinner and the presentation of the ring were just months she and I both needed to get things in order for the proposal to make sense. Our relationship took a turn for the worst and then ended and then picked back up again for a much much stronger take 2. And now here we are. There were bumps in the road, but there always are. Some things have been difficult, but nothing that’s worth doing is ever easy. And there’s still a whole bunch of stuff to figure out, but isn’t that all part of the fun?

Keep your eyes peeled for further musings on this process of getting married. I am sure I will have a lot to say.

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The Theme for 2013: The Year of No Pressure

December 13, 2012 |

About Filmmaking, About Music, About Writing, Film & TV, Music, Thoughts and Writing

Before I discuss my theme for next year, let’s talk about this year a little bit. Though I built up a little steam toward my 100,000 word goal, I only made it about a quarter of the way through before life got in the way and threw my ability to think about my writing to the wolves. Indeed, The Black Laser wasn’t free from that either. Loyal readers saw the quantity and quality of posts here gradually decline as life got in the way of things. But, you know what? So it goes.

I don’t feel bad about it.

Because the truth is I also did all sorts of interesting things personally and professionally this year; they just didn’t have a lot to do with writing. I made a bunch of dance videos with my now-fiancée. I edited all sorts of commercials for the old boob tube. I edited a death metal concert video and an experiment art narrative short film. I was made officially official at my company. I got freakin’ engaged! Holy crap!

So what if I didn’t write as much as I set out to? Who really cares? I accomplished a lot of things that made me really proud and I fed my brain with a lot of new experiences that can ultimately be writing-fodder. It’s not as if I sat around all year playing video games (though I did do some of that), wasting my time and feeling bad about it. I made things and friends and learned. I am very happy with 2012. I think a lot of that has to do with letting myself be free from my theme about halfway through the year. I remember consciously thinking, “Ok, I can grind out the next 75,000 words and be all stressed about not being on schedule, or I can just go with the flow and see what comes out of the year.” And that is exactly what I did.

In the past I’ve put a lot of emphasis on structure and deadlines, hoping that being beholden to something would keep me motivated. Go Head. Read about it. I’ll be right here.

Ok. All finished? Great.

To a certain extent being beholden to someone does keep me motivated, but I’ve learned that I have to be beholden to someone who is not myself. I just can’t do it. I make too many excuses for myself, and I find that I am always really willing to cut myself slack for those excuses. I am my own worst enemy and my own best advocate. A complicated relationship to be in with yourself.

This year I want to try a different sort of experiment. Though I have a whole lot of things I want to do this year, I am not going to put any pressure on myself to get things done by a deadline. Instead I am going to do things as they come and let my own productivity flow organically. I am under constant deadlines at work, so perhaps being more laissez-faire with my creative goals will allow me the wiggle room at the end of the day to do things as I can, not as I feel I need to. With that, I present the theme for 2013…

The Year of No Pressure

That’s right. No pressure. No pressure to hit a certain word count. No pressure to produce a certain number of stories. No pressure to do anything to a certain amount by a certain date. Just let things happen as they happen. That is not to say I don’t have goals for this year. Quite the contrary; I have a bunch of things, broad and specific, I want to accomplish in 2013. I just don’t intend to put any undue pressure on myself to get them done before they happen naturally.

What are they?

Get married – Giant duh on this. I asked her to marry me and now we need to figure out exactly how that is going to work. Apparently, people expect you to know the date you’re going to get married as soon as you are engaged. That’s news to me. Besides, I’ve neither been engaged before nor have I planned a wedding. There is a lot to learn.
As a bonus for you all, my good friend Matt Toder of Vox Critica fame has asked Sarah and me to write a series of articles about our experience getting married. I’ve already started one on getting engaged, so keep an eye out for that, friends. I promise it will be good reading.
Rebuild my finances – 2012 was a very expensive year. During 2013 I would like very much to reign in my spending and rebuild the next egg I worked through this year. Don’t get me wrong; the money was spent for a very good (personal) reason and I would spend it all again in a heartbeat. Nevertheless, it is a priority of mine to keep to a budget and try to dig myself out of a bit of a hole.
Pick up the pace of The Black Laser – I feel bad when I don’t update for the 10s of you who read this site. I like to put my thoughts out and share cool things I find and I hope that you like it too. For 2013, I’d like to get this place back on track. This post is the first step toward that goal.
Pick up the fiction train – This ties into the previous goal a little as my fiction posts have always been a good source of original content for this site. And I like sharing that stuff with you guys because it scares the hell out of me to put myself out there and that is fun. It is fun to be scared. I have a load of fiction ideas built up, little snippets of ideas, barely formed thoughts, bad ideas, good ideas, stale ideas, fresh ideas. Whatever they are, I have a ton of stuff stewing in my brain that needs to be released. I’m going to release it at you all. Be ready.

I think that’s it right now, but I am not going to stress about adding or removing things from that list as I see fit. That’s just how 2013 is going to be. Stay tuned and get excited for it, friends. It should be a totally smooth, comfortable ride.

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The literary bane that is fan fiction.

November 12, 2012 |

About Writing and Writing

In my internet travels recently (reddit? blogs? somewhere else?) I stumbled across FanFiction.net. I’ve never had a high opinion of fan fiction, but that was a purely conceptual bias. The idea of fan fiction seems pretty absurd to me, even before considering the realities of fan fiction. Why would you waste your time creating fiction in worlds not of your own making? Why write stories about Marty McFly’s journeys through time and space with Dr Who? Why write stories about Data and Picard hooking up? Why write stories set in alternate Twilight world where there is a family of Frankenstein’s Monsters who own a chain of discotechs?

I have no idea either. It has never made sense to me. But that’s just me. And then today my curiosity got the better of me and I started reading some.

Wow. Just wow.

As a little experiment, let’s pick a section at random. How about “Games”? Ok. Games gives us quite a few topics to choose from. Let’s see…I liked Mass Effect. Let us see what we can find in Mass Effect.

On the first page there is a story called, “The Rise and Fall of Maria Shepard”. It gives us this gem.

Shepard collapsed to her knees, tears now washing away the velvet blood that was painted on her face, but soon Kaidan interrupted her thoughts with a sudden hand on her shoulder.

Clumsy. Awkward. I don’t know what a “sudden hand” is exactly, but overall not the worst sentence I’ve ever read.

Further down the page is a story called, “Rebuilding Our Realm”. I liked this bit.

“How are you feeling commander?” asked Fallon’s nurse – for what seemed like the 3rd time that day! Fallon herself had a cast on her left leg, her shoulder was still a little sore and her ribs still hurt whenever she yawned, laughed or coughed – not like she had been laughing much anyway! Since Wrex had found her, with the rest of the rescue squad, (in a part of the citadel that had crashed down through Earth’s atmosphere), and had taken her to one of the only remaining hospitals in London. Later that week the hospital had ran out of power, forcing the staff to move the critically injured and most important personnel to a different hospital situated in the city of Oxford. Oxford had mostly been untouched throughout the war, maybe one of two reapers bodies still lying round where they have not been picked up yet. The hospital itself was called the John Radcliffe – JR for short – the staff here were pleasant and she had had access to the best health care they offered; yet she still could not rest. Her crew had been announced missing the day after the war had finished, the same day that Wrex had found her. The press were constantly trying to get into the hospital to see their ‘hero of the war,’ one had managed to get in a couple of days ago and had asked her questions about how she had stopped the reapers, to which she could only answer that she could not remember. According to the doctors she had gone into survival mode when crashing down to Earth, and the horror of the whole ordeal had overridden her memory with information, meaning that the memory leading up to it was blacked out, and this had created a few hours of just blank information. So altogether she was not feeling great, she had lost her crew, her ship, her memory, but also the man she was falling in love with. Well when you say man…?

Whoa. Needless exposition much? Passive voice, run ons, and unnecessary information. I wondered what the hospital was called; I am glad the author deigned to tell us.

But let’s not skip my favorite entry on the first page of the Mass Effect section, “Mass Eject Chapter 1”.

I need some air i went outside and tried to cool off but my sadness from last night turned into rage at the hanar. (How dare it drag me here against my will.) I walk up to a lone tree and punched it pain shot up through my hand. Why me I had parents a family to care about i then kicked the before mentioned tree until my anger slipped away and turned into a dull pulsing pain in my chest. This feeling would not go away any time soon

What is not perfectly sublime about this passage? It displays an essential inability to communicate with the written word, yet here this young fellow is crafting the most awkward fiction I have ever had the pleasure to laugh through. I genuinely feel sympathy for the before mentioned tree and his vicious fight with the protagonist.

I feel like Fan Fiction.net is a lot like Elfwood, but where Elfwood serves as a repository for the worst and less worst of amateur art, Fan Fiction.net serves for writing. Sure, buried in the noise there are a few decently competent creators of stirring fan fiction, but overall the level of quality is so low that it is laughable. And a satisfying laugh it is. Where else could you find Great Expectations/Lord of the Rings crossover fiction?

I almost want to write some.

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Help my friend battle cancer.

July 26, 2012 |

Thoughts

My lovely friend Jonathan Waiter, talented photographer and all-around super sweet dude (and surprisingly intense Starcraft player), has recently been diagnosed with late stage lymphoma. If that means nothing to you, let me put it into layman’s terms: he’s got some seriously bad cancer that has spread throughout his torso, to his liver and his heart. Bad bad bad news. Like so many other Americans, Jonathan lacks health insurance and chemotherapy and the surrounding costs are a severe burden.

Before going on, let me quote the description our friend Teresa wrote.

For anyone who may not have heard the full story, or if you are new to the story altogether... Jonathan was diagnosed just recently with Lymphoma. The stage is currently unclear, though it is clear that it is Stage 3 or 4.

The discovery was made following several bouts of losing consciousness. During one such occasion, he was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. Tests finally concluded that Jonathan was facing a cancer diagnosis. Early imaging showed tumors in the chest cavity, lungs, and surrounding major arteries.

After navigating the public hospital system with no insurance, and a Medicaid application pending, Jonathan went on through additional testing to find that the cancer had also spread to his kidneys, liver and pancreas.

Medical bills are piling up at a truly heart breaking rate. These costs are mostly supposed to be covered retro-actively by Medicaid, although, as if more bad news could be suffered, the Medicaid application was denied.

Friends are reviewing the information, and will be going through the motions to appeal the decision by way of a hearing. This could be a fight, but the hope is that it was due to a simple application error.

Jonathan’s case has been escalated to emergency status in the public hospital system. He and some nearby friends are also looking into the possibility of transferring into a more reputable hospital once the Medicaid issue is sorted.

As you can imagine, the phone calls, emails, and messages are pouring in. Well wishers, friends, and family are understandably eager to be updated and to hear Jonathan’s voice on the other end of the phone… however, his energy is very low and he is experiencing a great amount of pain and discomfort most of the time, especially following chemo treatments.

The purpose of this site is to receive regular updates on his mental, physical and emotional state.

A small network of friends will be operating this site. I’m sure it will be a rotating cast depending on who has the latest information and/or closest proximity.

If he is not able to return your calls and messages, please stop by this site, where we will do our best to keep everyone informed of all the newest developments. I can tell you that Jonathan sincerely appreciates every person in his life, and cares very much for all of the concern that everyone is already showing, and the help that everyone is offering.

There are apparently several fund raising efforts in the works. That is GREAT news. In addition to the donation capabilities of this site, we will try to keep you updated on links to all other efforts to make sure Jonathan receives all the support possible.

Being self employed comes with many advantages and disadvantages... as Jonathan is currently experiencing. There is, of course, freedom to work the way you want and to live the truly rewarding life of a professional artist, but the down sides are inevitable. Limited access to health coverage, no disability insurance, no paid sick time, and the anxiety of uncertainty in the middle of an unforeseen health crisis.

During this long ordeal, Jonathan needs to be able to cover his day to day expenses. By this, I do not mean medical expenses. I mean the basic necessities of life. We can help to make this happen, and I am asking you to do just that.

Your support means the world to Jonathan and to everyone who loves him and wants to see him through to ultimate success. If you know him, you at least have a special place in your heart for him, if you don’t outright love and adore him.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for stopping by. More updates to come, on a regular basis. –Teresa

Serious business here. I don’t ask my readers for a lot here on The Black Laser and I make no money on this site. But this is important to me and it would be great if you could help Jonathan out with anything you can manage. It doesn’t need to be a lot (though that would be rad), but do try and help. Spread the word. You’re all awesome.

Thanks.

Donate here: GoFundMe: Jonathan Waiter

And while you’re at it, check out Jonathan’s photography.

Jonathan Waiter.com (NSFW-skinny girl tits)
Porcelain Insect (NSFW-skinny girl tits)

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Canadians are serious about safety. DEADLY serious.

July 23, 2012 |

Film & TV and TV

Dear Draft FCB and Canada,

What the fuck? These are amazing. I think I watched the guy blow up like 10 times. I’ll probably watch him blow up another 10. If you do another round of these, can I please please please please please be the guy who yells “there’s been an accident!” I promise not to goof around too much and add “eh” to the end of each of my reads. Only a few takes will sound like this:

“There’s been an accident, eh! Sorry for yelling!”

Please? PLEASE?!

Thanks to Sarah for making my day hilariously darker with these amazing PSAs from America’s hat.

EDIT \\\\ Sarah sent me a compilation video of all 5 spots. WOW. I’ve replaced the videos above with the supercut. Original links here and here.

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Sarah Dances – “The Rhythm of the Night”

July 16, 2012 |

Film & TV and My Work

It’s been a little slow around here since I’ve not been working, but that doesn’t mean I’ve been sitting on my thumbs the whole time. Just, you know, most of the time.

Sarah and I made another dance video because why the hell not. Here it is. Enjoy.

I did learn one thing while doing this video: the DaVinci Resolve does not work unless you have a CUDA enhanced GPU. That means that the powerful ATI card I put in my Mac Pro will not allow me to run Resolve. That is incredibly annoying. I was going to use these videos as an opportunity to learn the software, but that will not be happening unless I pony up for Apple’s 1100 dollar Nvidia Quadro card (not going to happen).

Another thing! Why is Color rendering out so much extra? I have handles set to zero frames, but it’s still rendering out as much as a minute extra for clips that are only in the timeline for 5 frames. Bothersome. It makes what should be a fairly fast render into one that takes hours. Luckily, AMA in Media Composer 6.0.1 makes it really easy to overcut the ProResHQ renders without having to wait to reimport everything at 1:1.

God, don’t you love it when I ramble on about shop? Enjoy the video and look out for the next one.

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Thrice’s “Promises”

July 2, 2012 |

Music and Music Videos

I recently fell back into Thrice in a big way. They were a band I listened to regularly around 2002, but they sort of dropped off my radar after that. The Illusion of Safety is still an amazing record, but as a thing that I am aware of they sort of disappeared. Maybe I was listening to too much grindcore and futurepop. Who knows. My friend Mia posted a Thrice video on her Facebook a month or so ago and I thought, “Damn, why haven’t I seen what this band is up to?” I went onto Spotify and saw they’d put out a record last year. Boom. Done.

And it is incredible. The record is lightyears away from The Illusion of Safety’s hardcore stylings. I recently commented on the Twitters that if you wanted to understand what the term “post hardcore” meant, then listen to Thrice’s newest record Major/Minor. They’ve taken their hardcore roots and let them mature into a sound that is not hardcore, but is informed by hardcore in a major way. It’s a grown up album for Thrice and perfectly suits them. They are not the young dudes who wrote The Illusion of Safety more than a decade ago and Major/Minor reflects that.

It’s a solid record and you should listen to it right now.

Major/Minor by Thrice on Spotify.

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266 search results for “round”