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The Black Laser

Dollar Shave Club: Advertising done so, so right

My work compatriot Mike sent me this video today while I should have been working. Instead, I watched the video and am now wasting more time telling all of you about the video. C’est la vie, eh?

The video is an ad for a new website called Dollar Shave Club which is dedicated to bringing men (and women, I suppose) affordable razors.

From their About page:

We got tired of spending $15-$20 every time we bought razor blades. We asked ourselves, did we really need all this fancy technology in our shave: a vibrating handle, LED guide-lights, 8-blades, and grip that could steady a 9-iron? The answer was a defiant “No”!

We felt like we’d been over-marketed to. “Big Shave” companies keep telling us we need more expensive equipment, but why? Shaving should be simple. It sure used to be. Look at old photos of your father & grandfather. They didn’t have extreme shave gear, and they look pretty handsome, don’t they?

So… we teamed up with one of the world’s leading blade manufacturers and created signature 2, 4, and 6 blade razors. They’ve got everything you need in a shave: stainless steel blades, lubrication bars, and pivoting heads.

Seems pretty neat to me, but they’ve forgotten man’s most affordable, most rugged shaving method: the humble, magnificent, thrift safety razor. I switched to the safety razor years and years ago after becoming fed up with the poor shaves I was getting from more modern razors. Plus, as they said above, who wants to spend 15-20 bucks for fucking cartridges? Then you try and drag out blades WELL past when you should and you get piss poor shaves. No thanks.

With a minor investment in brush and handle, safety razors are your best friend when shaving. There are numerous of brands of blades on the market, all of which are incredibly cheap. My personal favorites, the Turkish Derby Extras. A few years ago, Jesse and I got a sample pack of razors and determined that the Derbies were the best: just sharp enough but not too sharp (Feathers, I’m looking at you), hold an edge well, and are inexpensive. For 20 cents a blade, you really don’t mind shaving with it three or four times and then replacing it. And therein is the advantage: with a constantly sharp blade (and a good afetrshave), you tend not to suffer from cuts and ingrown hairs and razor burn so endemic with dull, shitty blades. Think about it this way: have you ever tried to cut a tomato with a dull knife? Think about what happens to the poor tomato. Same thing with your face.

Plus, since I shave MAYBE once every 5 to 7 days (not for lack of hair; purely from laziness), I spend maybe a dollar on razors a month. Quite a bit like what they are charging for their baseline razor, but I get a vastly superior shave. In fact, if these guys were smart, they’d offer a double edge razor offer. Maybe like 10 razors a month for a buck. 5 for 50 cents? There’s got to be something there for the safety razor enthusiast. And hell, I’d like to support Dollar Shave Club. Seems like a good crüe.

So, if you’re not yet enlightened to the joys of a good wetshave with a safety razor, check these dudes out. I like their thing and this ad is pure brilliance.

Christian Mistress’ “Pentagram and Crucifix”

I gambled recently and pre-ordered the LP of Christian Mistress’ new album Possession based on some sample tracks I’d heard online. It arrived a week or so ago and it is pretty amazing. I am really into this whole throw-back, female-lead-singer metal thing that’s happening right now. As much as I like me some face-melting grindcore and black metal, sometimes you just want punchy, no bullshit, Sabbath-y riffs with a lady wailing on top. Who doesn’t like that? Bands like Christian Mistress, Blood Ceremony, and Witch Mountain are really scratching an inch for me that I had no idea existed. I am glad, however, that it was called to my attention. Scratch me! That so many of these bands come from the Pacific Northwest can’t be a coincidence either. Time for a roadtrip!

Even the video for this song, the first off their new record, is a throw-back. It looks like it was shot in 16mm black and white reversal, a format all my other film school graduate friends will have fond memories of working with. The song is awesome too. Perhaps not the best example of what singer Christine Davis can do when she’s really pushing her voice (listen to “Black To Gold” instead), the song still serves as a perfect example of what Christian Mistress is about on Possession: riffs, guitar interplay, driving beats, and a powerful female lead. If you don’t like this track, you won’t like the record. But, what’s not to like about this track?

Check out their Bandcamp. Christian Mistress.

Mouse On Mars’ “Polaroyced”

Do you remember how in college I used to listen to Idiology basically on repeat? You don’t? What’s wrong with your memory? Go to a doctor.

Mouse on Mars is back with a forthcoming record after a many-year hiatus and they’ve released this video for their first single “Polaroyced”. At the beginning you think the video is going to be a super simple video of El Luchador De Oro dancing around the back streets of Venice, CA, but it ends up being so much more. Floating golden dogs! Exploding palms! Glitter everywhere!

Rio, you’re going to love this one.

Wendy’s Training Videos

These were floating around a few years ago, but never made it to The Black Laser. Well, the time is now!

Presented here for your viewing displeasure are three training videos created by Wendy’s in what looks like the early 90s. And my god are they terrible. They just reek of corporations raping popular culture turning things that were once cool (old school hip hop) into things that are really really not (rapping about sodas for a training video). And for Wendy’s to think that singing soulfully about adding cheese to chili is the best way to reach their new employees is pretty offensive too.

Yet, I love these things. The people in them are just so earnest. The guy and chick in the hot drinks and cold drinks videos respectively just feel like young, starving actors who got their first real job and are so psyched to be there that they could be asked to do anything and they’d do it. It’s kind of endearing, I think. I mean, watch the videos and tell me you won’t be humming the frankly awful songs the rest of the day. Try it. Go ahead. I dare you.

Turntablerocker’s “Alles Auf Die 303”

I love this a lot. At first you’re all, “Man, this is a totally normal music video of a panda chilling out in his hotel room. He calls the front desk. What’s weird about this?” And then BOOM—pole dancing chicks emerge from the ceiling. And then it gets better. Watch the whole thing! Enjoy it! It is NOT work safe for you people with serious jobs, but I won’t spoil why not. Needless to say, you’ll like it and if you don’t you’re wrong.

The 2 Bears’ “Be Strong”

I’ve been listening to the new The 2 Bears record a lot recently. Beyond “Bear Hug”, nothing I’d heard from it was really sticking with me very well. But, recently, something changed and I’ve turned around to their particular brand of funky UK house. I don’t know what it was that changed, but sometimes you just give something enough of a chance and eventually it starts clicking with you. That is true for music and books and people.

Anyway, give it a chance and I think you will dig it too. It’s on Spotify, iTunes, where ever, here ever, there ever.