Hmm. Do I like this? I liked the last Into Eternity record, but I was pretty sure at the beginning of the song that I wasn’t going to like this one. Then it got into the meat of the track and I wasn’t sure that I disliked it anymore. It’s actually a pretty decent song, I guess, even if it switches genres like crazy without any sort of real segue ways.
His singing verges on the unacceptable sometimes, but his penchant for taking it power metal really pulls him back from the brink of oblivion. And homeboy can definitely keep a tune, so I’m not mad. I’m just not sure how pumped up about this I am. But then, that’s what I thought when I first heard Protest The Hero, and I consider Fortress one of the best releases of this year. It’s probably appropriate that you ignore my first impressions because they are often wrong in moments like this. Usually, if I hate something right off the bat (that was a cliché), then I’m right on. Same thing for liking stuff. But when I’m on the fence and leaning towards dislike, I’m usually wrong, so, you know, whatever.
Sorry that this post sucks; my brain is officially mush. Watch the video. Keep on rocking.
Look forward to more interesting posts in the future!
I have no doubt that many of you are familiar with the Metal Horns, the typical hand sign associated with heavy metal appreciation. I have no problem with the horns on principle. They serve to show how fucking into the music you are. When the metal gets so fucking intense that you just can’t take it anymore, the extended index and pinky fingers are excellent heatsinks for all the metal intensity built up in your frail, human form. God knows that I threw the horns more times than you could believe when I was a teenager. I love the horns. The horns are awesome.
Here are a couple of examples of the horns being used appropriately.
Ronnie James Dio - Popularly considered the inventor of the hornsNergal of Behemoth throwing the horns
Nevertheless, the horns are subject to rampant abuse. Watch the MTV music awards sometime and notice how many kids in the front throw the horns for all sorts of random bullshit, none of which falls under the “metal” header. You’ll see pop stars and country music stars and assholes on American Idol throwing the horns. What the fuck? Don’t you fucking dipshits get it? The horns are not for you and your bullshit music; the horns are an expression of metal. Yet sometimes the horns aren’t sufficient. And the horns are expected, practiced. The horns, for as great as they are, leave something to be desired these days.
For this reason, I am a supporter of the Metal Claw. When the horns just can’t do it, then you must make the claw. Where the horns send metal from only two fingers, the claw sends metal from all five. That’s 150% MORE METAL.
Typically associated with Satan, though not actually so, the horns can be divisive. The claw on the other hand promotes unity across all metal genres. Here is an example of my favorite Christian as Fuck death metal band of the moment making HEAVY use of the claw. I mean, seriously, check out his Jesus t-shirt.
In contrast, we have Nergal of Behemoth, a profound believer in Darkness, making the Claw while recording.
THE CLAW!!!!!
See the difference here? In the first photo he is on stage, performing, throwing the horns to a photographer. In the second he is focusing on the task at hand in the studio, feeling the slaughter erupt in his veins. Thus the Claw is made.
You might say, “But Joe, this claw you speak of is a new phenomenon. Was not the almighty Dio throwing the horns in the early 80s?” This is a good point, but I have evidence to the contrary. Here is 1995’s “Slaughter of the Soul” by At The Gates.
Too new for you? How about some proto-Claw throwing by Bruce Dickinson? Check it at about 1:30 into the video.
And so, it is with this incredibly persuasive argument in mind that I am pleased to unveil The Official The Black Laser Seal of Approval. Check it out:
How sweet is that shit? My Photoshop skills are legendary.
In conclusion, let us agree that while the horns have their rightful place in the Metal culture, the Claw is a true and brutal expression of what metal is and should be to the true aficionado. If I ever see the Claw thrown on American Idol—I don’t watch the show, so I guess I never will, however—then we’ll have to reevaluate its stance in my heart. But really, I think it’s as likely as hearing blast beats and harmonized growls in pop music, so I feel secure in the Metal Claw’s status as niche expression of intense metal power.
I have an admission to make. I love Christmas music. There is something so sublimely cheesy about all of it that I can’t help but like. And now that December has officially sprung, I have license to play my collection of quirky Christmas music for the next month. Awesome!
Then you won’t be surprised that I thought it was a surprise and true pleasure last year when my brother Charlie recorded an album of hi favorite Christmas tunes in a way only he could. They are rather nontraditional takes on classic songs. Check them out. I think you’ll dig them. A download link for the whole record is at the bottom.
[audio:vitamin-xmas/01.mp3|artists=Vitamin|titles=God Rest All Ye Gentlemen]
[audio:vitamin-xmas/02.mp3|artists=Vitamin|titles=Angels Have We Heard On High]
[audio:vitamin-xmas/03.mp3|artists=Vitamin|titles=Jingle Bells]
[audio:vitamin-xmas/04.mp3|artists=Vitamin|titles=Come All Ye Faithful]
[audio:vitamin-xmas/05.mp3|artists=Vitamin|titles=Oh Christmas Tree]
[audio:vitamin-xmas/06.mp3|artists=Vitamin|titles=Hark! The Herald Angels Sing]
[audio:vitamin-xmas/07.mp3|artists=Vitamin|titles=Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas]
I was watching my recorded Headbangers Ball yesterday—which has mysteriously moved to the wonderful 2 to 3am time slot on MTV2, double ewe tea ephraim?—and I saw three new videos worth commenting on.
The first is the new Motorhead video for “Rock Out”.
I’m not a Motorhead fan. I can appreciate the band for what they are, but their music has never really done it for me, whatever “it” is. That’s not to say I have no respect for a band that has made a career out of writing essentially the same two and a half minute song over and over and over and over. How can you not respect that? It takes a special kind of balls to pull that shit. Their new video, however, is amazing. I’m not sure what about it I like so much. It’s not the song. It might be the cinematography, which is quite nice for a metal video. It might be the de-emphasis on the band’s performance. It might be how personal it all feels. In all likelihood, it’s all of these and something else. Just watch it and you’ll see what I mean.
This morning while avoiding sitting down to do actual real work, I was cruising the Deciblog and stumbled upon this new video by Intronaut. It’s stupidly awesome. The video echoes Jan Svankmajer’s Alice, but with a distinctly modern feel. The cut is sharp and punchy, and the cinematography conveys a palpable sense of dread. What more could you ask for from a metal video? That the song is appropriately killer? Taken care of. Harmonized growls, double bass, breakdowns, gnarly chorus; this song has it all.
So why is it in On singing in metal? I filed it there because of the musical shift at 2:14. I fully anticipated some truly awful singing destroying my initial impression of this song as pure slaughter. How delighted I was to make it through the calmer section to be greeted at the other end by the brutal crunch of the chorus! This is a perfect example of how to integrate melodic sections into your metal song without succumbing to the misguided need to throw in some contemptible “singing”. Intronaut, I salute you and your restraint and show of good taste. Well done.
The rest of you, pick up their record from Century Media here—Intronaut – Prehistoricisms. Only 10 bucks! That’s two beers WITHOUT tip. Do it.
Anyone who knows me in real life knows that I have a passionate, undying love for all things metal. Fist in the air, I throw the horns for the power of metal. It is catharsis on a primal level unmatched by anything else I do to blow off steam. I rock the fuck out and I don’t care who dislikes it. I am a relatively unpicky consumer of metal records. If it has a strong groove and some double bass, I’m into it. I try not to discriminate.
That said, there is one trend in metal over the last few years that I cannot tolerate. Have you guessed it yet? That’s right. I loathe singing in metal songs. But that is not wholly true. What I hate is bad singing in metal songs.
