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Category: About Filmmaking (page 2 of 6)

“Blake’s Lotaburger in Albuquerque and my Meal from There”

They keep coming, people. You think you’ve seen them all and then there are new ones. Every day. I want to buy him a salad.

Cubsrule2040, I wish I could quit you.

Prometheus International trailer

Wow.

I haven’t been this excited for a new movie in years and years. I cannot wait.

Never say no to Panda.

As an advertising professional, if I had cut these spots they would be the entirety of my reel. I absolutely love the panda’s contempt for everyone. My friend Sean posted this on my Facebook page today and I needed to share it with everyone else. When first watching, I thought the panda was going to appeal to their kindness with his sad face and cuddly cheeks, but then he starts fucking up their SE30s (running DOS for some reason) and everything gets a lot better. He pulls the guy’s fucking IV drip off in the next one, for Christ’s sake.

Amazing! I love it! GET PISSED, PANDA!

I salute you, Middle Eastern cheese company, for making downright wonderful ads for your cheese and for not being afraid to take it there. Everyone else trying to make things “viral”, take a cue from these guys.

Dr Steve Brule on Life

There are very few things I miss about not having cable television in my house. Commercials, reality tv, the expense. I don’t want any of that crap in my life. But Dr. Steve Brule? I miss Dr. Steve Brule.

And baseball. Oh my god I miss baseball. Enough that I thought about having cable installed this year for the season. But I didn’t. For your health.

The Amazing Bulk

With visuals that would have looked cheap by 90s FMV game standards, TopCat Films has clearly set out to set a new standard for cinematic excellence with this one. Here’s the stirring synopsis from IMDB.

Henry Howard an ambitious young scientist struggles to develop a super human serum designed to improve muscle mass and prolong life expectancy. His boss, the grumpy General Darwin, will not allow Hank to marry his daughter, Hannah, until the experiment is a success. Against Darwin’s wishes Hank proposes to Hannah anyway, but his life is shattered by a mugger who steals his engagement ring. Dejected, Hank injects himself with the experimental serum and is transformed into the Amazing Bulk. The Bulk goes on a rampage through the city destroying everything in his path. Hank is caught by a relentless detective, imprisoned by Darwin and forced to battle the sadistic Dr. Kantlove, who threatens to blow up the moon with his arsenal of weapons.

Poor Dr. Kantlove. I wonder if he’ll ever find love on his quest to blow up the moon? But I am pretty sure I’ll never like grumpy General Darwin.

You can watch this gem when it comes out on DVD in April. Does anyone want to do a Thankskilling/The Amazing Bulk double feature with me and then drink poison Kool-Aidâ„¢?

Zombie Ass trailer

I’ve always maintained that Japan produces the highest, most beautiful forms of art and the lowest, most vile. Zombie Ass is firmly in the second camp. It looks to me like it might be the stupidest, most offensive movie ever produced and I am not sure if that makes me want to see it or if it makes me want to run screaming away from it as quickly as I can. Hmmm. We are presented with many obstacles in life. I just hope they say “danger” throughout the film as much as they do throughout the trailer. That’s the best part.

DANGER. DANGER.

Ortega + Olympic Gymnasts, a Match Made in Advertising HELL

What fucking client greenlit this stinking pile of mediocrity? And then was happy with the result? Oh. It was Ortega. Gymnasts should not be allowed to “act”. Those tacos look fucking horrible. I’ve never in my entire life seen something that made me think a taco was more disgusting than this ad.

Holy fucking shit, this is the worst. Just the worst. I am embarrassed for everyone on this. Make my tacos pop my ass.

Terry Gilliam on Kubrick VS. Spielberg

Even though he comes off as a little bit of a dick, Gilliam’s comment on the nature of art is valuable and true. Effectively, that the best art leaves strings hanging for the viewer/reader/whateverer to figure out for themselves which, I believe, creates a more intimate experience. There’s nothing like having to work for comprehension to help make a thing feel like it is your own, to build a bond with a work, to internalize it, to have it affect you. When handed all the answers, things are boring as hell. It’s one of my major pet peeves with YA fiction and, really, a lot of SF/F. I get so bored when everything is explained. Just put things in there and let us work it out through context. That is one of the things I really enjoyed about Gene Wolfe’s work. Creativity is problem solving. Jeez, that’s like my new mantra.

And like women, the easy ones are boring. There’s nothing more boring than a woman who throws herself at you. It’s the difficult ones we all like and go after. Art. Women. Women. Art. They are the same.