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Posts published in August 2011

Tiger Love’s “Gio Gio”

You know how earlier I was all, “Blah blah blah boobies blah blah blah cheeseburgers instead”? You don’t? Ok, WELL, this video makes me feel a similar thing in the sense that it makes me want to throw eggs at people, granted that those people are hot chicks in gold bathing suits. You know, that raises another question: would anyone actually go swimming in one of those things or are they purely for lounging pool/oceanside?

The song itself is pretty good for slick ass synthy disco music. I’m into it. I’d listen to this album while throwing a dance party, driving through the desert, or cooking dinner. Those are all suitable venues for these guys. The woman singer’s voice reminds me of the woman from Vocoder quite a bit, but separated by time and geography and grocerystoreness.

I dug around Spotify, Amazon, and the Googles for more on these guys but all I can find is their Myspace and Facebook pages which seems to indicate that they’re fairly new on the scene. I hope to see and hear more out of these folks in the future as I can never really have too much cheesey synthy dance music in my life. They have a few more videos which I’ll be posting over the next few days intermingled with other content so you don’t get too overwhelmed.

WAT’s “Kill Kill”

You know, I suspect I am supposed to be all, “Oh damn, look at these fly honies! I LOVE fly honies!” after watching this music video for a song I’ve never heard before by someone who I’ve never heard of, but, really, all I thought was, “Damn, I want a burger.”

Who wants to eat a burger with me tonight? My fridge is broken so I had to toss its contents which means no din-din at home. Let’s eat burgers!

Creative Projects-July: One and A Half is better than Zero, or, Where is all this money from!?

July was a successful for month for me on both pursuits for this year.

Creatively, I put another The Black Laser Reads… out into the universe and managed to finally begin the redesign of the site. I didn’t finish the redesign until we had rolled over into August so it won’t count towards July, but does count for my overall year tally of getting things did. I am pretty psyched on that. Hopefully, if I can keep this momentum up, you’ll be seeing a year end summary where I can claim to have finished more than 100% of my allotted projects. Pretty good. Gets my juices going, that does.

It is also quite nice to have finally passed 50% of my allotment, with another 8.333% in the works. It’s not yet ready to be shared, but it will be done before the month ends so look for more about that when the time comes for my August summary.

In regards to my secondary goal for the year, July was great. I was quite good at sticking to my “don’t go drinking during the week” guideline which feels good. I’m sleeping well (except for the heat), waking up easily, feeling chipper in the morning, and I’m finding money in my pocket from the beginning of the week. It just stays there! That was welcome because, for a variety of reasons, July ended up being a fairly cash-strapped month for me. Finding money that I would have previously written off as history ended up being nice little reminders that I was successfully sticking to my plan. That’s good.

I’ve also been riding my bike around a bit. I quite like it and find that I am flying around like a lunatic whenever possible. Not recklessly, of course, but enough. Though the month of constantly threatening rain has dissuaded me from taking the bike out on more than one occasion. That’s a drag, but getting caught in whipping sheets of rain in the dark with the wind blowing your contacts out as you ride through traffic is less desirable. I’ll pick my battles there.

Overall, pretty positive month for me and, aside from some weirdo mental shit on and off that has little to do with my theme, feeling pretty good about it. I feel like I am developing a healthy pattern here of work, followed by work, followed by relaxing.

I’ll check back in on this business in a month.

This lady is REAL excited by this whale’s penis.

If you’ve never seen a woman forcefully slap a sperm whale’s penis while standing ankle-deep in its gore…well, you have now. Is she too excited? Or the right amount of excited? You decide.

Apologies if you need to log in to Youtube to view the video. They’ve age restricted it because of the gaping hole in the side of the whale, I suppose. I certainly hope that’s the reason and it’s not because some spoil-sports over at Youtube find a whale’s member to be lascivious and potentially offensive. Off-putting, perhaps, but offensive no way.

Stevie B’s “Spring Love”

Oh yes. Everything about this is so tragically boring that I can’t help but love it a little bit. The racing stripes in his hair. The unbelievably shitty video production. The terrible song. His beach short shorts. Everything. All of it. Everything forever and ever and ever.

Terrible. Magnificent. I don’t even really know how to feel. I am not sure if I appreciate this for its sublime tackiness or for its dreadful earnestness. I am not even sure that I don’t completely hate it. What are all these feelings inside of me for Stevie B?! Do I empathize with his plight in this song or do I find him to be a simpering melodramatic buffoon? Oh, Stevie B, what horrible terrors you have wrought upon my fragile brain! I pray for clarity!

He reminds me a little of this guy except that I know how I feel about Farley. Spoiler alert: I love him.

LA is basically the worst place in the world for metal.

You read the headline. LA fucking sucks for good metal. Sure, it has its occasional standouts (early Fear Factory for one), but so much of what gets produced there is such filth that I want to claw my eyes out and drop a fucking bomb on the place. Worse is that there are bands from other places that emulate the LA scene and spread the cancer of shitty ass metal around the country.

Don’t believe me? Here’s an example of what LA brings to the metal scene.

What the fuck, LA. Fuck you and your bullshit. This is the worst thing ever.

Let me help you cleanse your palette a little with this gem by a band from about as far away from LA as you can get.

So much better.

My time with Spotify.

If you know me and we chat on the IMs or in meatspace, then you’ve probably heard me talk about how much I like Spotify. Likewise, if you’re from the United States and spend even a little bit of time on the old interwebs, then you’ve heard about it too. And, if you’re from Europe, you’ve probably had an account for like a hundred years so shut the fuck up and read another post, you sanctimonious bastards.

If you don’t know (oh my god, who are you???), Spotify is the coolest newest bestest streaming music service that has just landed on our shores. A Swedish company, Europe’s had it for a few years, but let’s just think that they’ve been beta testing it for that period of time in order to make sure it really shone when they finally released it to the US market. Thanks, Europe!

Basically, the idea is that Spotify is iTunes that is hosted elsewhere. That’s it. You’ve got an application that looks and behaves basically like iTunes does but none of the music is stored on your hard drive. Instead it lives in the cloud, and, as such, requires a constant internet connection which might have been a pain in the ass a few years ago, but now is basically the same as having electricity. Now, imagine that you have a friend that has some ridiculous iTunes collection on his hard of many hundreds of gigabytes. And imagine that you can share this friends iTunes library all the time. Pretty cool right? Now take a step further and imagine that your friend has more than 15 million songs in his (or her) library and that, when playing them, you are not limited to just listening, but you can create playlists, make favorites, and share with your friends. That’s what Spotify is. Pretty rad, right?

I had signed up for the beta months ago thinking, “Oh man, another thing to have an account for. Great.” But curiosity got the best of me and I gave them my e-mail address and forgot about it for a while. Then turntable.fm and grooveshark and whatever other crap came around and I thought the same thing, “Oh great, another thing to have an account for.” So I ignored them. Still am. But then my Spotify beta invite came in the e-mail and I decided to give it a chance. I signed up for a free account and installed their client software.

And I wasn’t that impressed, to be perfectly honest. Though the selection was excellent, I hated that they played ads every few minutes. Worse was that the ads were very poorly targeted. I’d be listening to some heavy ass shit (duh) and four songs in I’d get an ad for some bullshit radio country album coming out soon. What the fuck? Terrible. At least do me the service of targeting ads properly if you’re going to be shoving them down my throat. The banner ads all over the client weren’t so bad and were no more obtrusive than ads on a website, but the audio ads were the worst. I didn’t really get the appeal. I played with it a couple days, connected my Facebook to it, and then went back to my iTunes/iPod combo which has been serving me admirably for years.

Then one day I logged in again and I saw that someone had sent me an album. “Holy shit!” I thought, “you can send people music on this thing?!” I hadn’t even noticed that I had an inbox. My mind was officially blown. Moments later I was a Spotify Premium member and I haven’t regretted it even once since then. The selection is amazing, the lack of ads with a paid account is amazing (Hulu, I’m looking at you, asshole), and the ability to send my brother or friends music is fucking AWESOME. It totally eliminates the hassles of sharing via FTP or Dropbox or whatever and it means that I can discover new music and immediately share it with someone I think will enjoy it. That rules. That rules hard.

Now that I’ve praised it effusively, let me pick apart some of the things I think they can do better.

First, I’d like it to be easier to find people and friends. Sure, you can connect it to your Facebook, but I’d like some function to search for people directly. There must be people I know who are on this thing who aren’t on Facebook or who haven’t connected their two accounts. It would make sense.

Second, I wish there was a better radio functionality. Yes, I am happy as a pig in shit with my thousands and thousands of songs in various playlists and I love being able to subscribe to other people’s playlists so they can curate, but sometimes I just want to turn the streaming thingie on and let someone else make those decisions for me. It would be a nice way to discover new music I might be overlooking.

Third, I would like there to be some easy way of browsing for new music instead of relying solely on the search function. It would be nice to be able to browse by artists alphabetically or by genre, by label, by year, by whatever. You get the idea. Instead of having to think of a band and then finding it, I’d like to be able to click around and stumble on things. Sure, you can find new bands through the “Related Artists” tab on a band’s profile, but the choices are typically few.

An addendum to that point—call it 3A—I would like to be have Spotify recommend artists to me based on what I am listening to. Let’s not fool ourselves, I understand that Spotify is tracking the HELL out of what I am listening to and reporting it to labels along with my generic personal info (male, lives in New York, 29, blah blah blah et cetera), and I am fine with that. But at least make it worthwhile to me and use the information about my listening habits to help me find new tunes. It’s not much too ask and I think it would enhance the service, especially because I am paying ten bucks a month for it.

Fifth, I wish the client application allowed for more playlist view customization. I’d like to be able to list by genre and year in my playlists so that I can start my Deicide playlist and listen chronologically through their oeuvre. Unfortunately for them, this means they’d also have to go through their considerable body of music and make sure that everything has its year tagged properly, which many records currently do not.

I think that’s everything. Overall my list is comprised of niggles and nothing at all that would destroy the user experience. If Spotify came through and added all those things, they wouldn’t be fixing something broken; they’d be enhancing something that is already totally awesome.

There you have it. 1200 words on why I like Spotify and why I think you would too. Interested in following me on Spotify and listening to my awesome playlists? Of course you are. Click the link below.

Follow me on Spotify

There you go. Come listen to Black Metal with me

Welcome to The Black Laser Version 2!

And lo many good things were let loose upon the land!

Finally, after two and half years of life, The Black Laser has received a much needed redesign. It took me ages of hemming and hawing to finally get around to it, but it’s done(ish) and ready to be unveiled. So, what’s new in the land of The Black Laser?

  • New Logo! It’s almost as black metal as I wanted.
  • Sans-serif font! Geometric!
  • Disqus commenting system! Just because!
  • A modern theme! Doesn’t affect you!
  • Uh, some other stuff!

Mostly I want to give the old bat a new coat of paint. It needed it. Of course, I am sure there are things I am going to want to change over the next few days of living with the new design, so don’t mind any annoying downtime here and there while I fiddle.

Stick around, test it out, and let me know if I messed something up. Enjoy!