Be afraid.
Tag Archive: Christmas
Ok, so the title is actually “Rock & Roll Santa,” but listen to it and tell me she’s not saying a word that sounds quite a lot like that damn dish the Chinese use to fry up your lo mein.
You all know who Jan Terri is. We’ve all seen the atrocious “Losing You”. It has scarred us all. Now, prepare to be furthered scarred by “Wock & Woll Santa”. This song and video should have been throw to the wolves at the moment of birth, but this is the internet and nothing ever dies. In fact, the internet is Christ resurrecting the Lazarus of bad memories; you think something is dead and gone forever, and then it rises back up horrible and fresh and shameful.
Thanks, internet. You make my life wonderful and terrible.
Dear Japan,
Please don’t ever stop making weird people. I love video like this so much I can hardly contain myself. Where I’ve written a few sane sentences, I’ve tried my best not to explode into a stream of expletives and exclamation points and repetition of the word “awesome”. I desire wholeheartedly to see more enthusiastic Japanese men play western Christmas music on homemade produce instruments as their wives accompany them on a regular instrument. For example, I’d like to hear “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” played on marimbas made from coconuts and accompanied by a zither. Or perhaps “Little Drummer Boy” on a carrot flute with a theremin. Or “Mele Kalikimaka” on watermelon guitar with a violin.
Whatever you do, please do NOT allow two people to play two different kinds of produces instruments. This is an illustration of what might happen.
I mean that. Please, for the world’s sake, be very very careful.
Sincerely,
Joe Dillingham
The Black Laser
Enjoy this stirring rendition on this (rainy in Nor Cal) Christmas Day. In the kitchen, my brothers are taking photographs of a Justin Beiber doll drinking from a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue. Iconoclasts to the end, the lot of us.
This is awesome. Merry fucking Christmas! I will be listening to Murder Ballads for the rest of the day.
I hope you’re having a festive Christmas with your family. For those of you who don’t buy into the whole “God impregnated a little Jewish girl who then had the baby in a fucking barn while three Asian dudes checked her shit out and brought her a bunch of crap she didn’t need and, oh yeah, there’s some farm animals hanging out too” spiel, then I hope you’re having a nice time off work. And if you’re unlucky enough to be working, then may god (the virgin impregnator) have mercy on your soul (such as it exists).
To celebrate this festive, made-up holiday, let’s watch some fucking videos, eh!?
First off, GWAR!!!!!!
Will Ferrell and John C Reilly’s Little Drummer Boy!!!!!!
Brett Domino doing Fairytale of New York!!!!!!
Majela ZeZe Diamond singing her Christmas hit!!!!!
A Very Tron Christmas Special!!!
Every year my friend Charles of Better Names for Baby, http://fuckyeahcharlesvestal.tumblr.com/, and A Year of Record fame releases a Christmas compilation of original Christmas songs by his friends. This year, I contributed one and a half songs: one I did with Charles called “TANZEN” and one I did by myself called “Robots Destroyed Christmas”. For those of you involved in my musical history, you will recognize that robots destroying things is a very very common theme in my music. I don’t know why, I don’t care why. It will no doubt continue to permeate everything I do in life.
Want to hear the two tracks I worked on? Here you go.
TANZEN–
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
“TANZEN” (German for Dance) was inspired by a conversation Charles and I were having one night at the Gypsy bar. We thought it would be funny to write a dance track where the only lines were “Ich bin Santa. Du bist ein Elf.” For those of you who don’t speak German (like me), that just means “I am Santa. You are an Elf.” The chorus is just “tanzen” repeated, encouraging the listener to get on the floor and shake dat ass with yuletide cheer. Later we incorporated the Frau Claus verse, the Ich liebe Rudolph movement, and the vocoder interlude. I think, for an afternoon’s hungover work, it came out pretty well. It makes me laugh.
Robots Destroyed Christmas–
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
The production of this track was much more involved than “TANZEN” mostly because this is the first real track I’ve ever produced in Logic so I had to learn how to make things work. There was a whole hell of a lot of dicking around and noodling with sounds and trying to get things balanced. It also highlighted the need for a subwoofer for my computer if I am going to continue to make music on it. I can hear everything in the mid and high ranges quite nicely, but the rich low end I so desperately crave and is so vital to a decent mix eludes me. I apologize if this kills your sub. It shouldn’t.
In this track I wanted to explore a few Christmas-y themes: fire, death, robots, snow, blood. These are things we commonly associate with Christmas time and I thought that bringing them all together in one, hard-edged place that makes you want to dance was a good idea for the benefit of humanity. I think I accomplished something with this that I will be able to expand upon in further pieces of music about robots destroying things.
Now that I’ve given you a taste of the 14 tracks on the album, go get a copy here: It Pays to Be Nice: A Holiday Compilation by A Group of Friends 2010
Be sure to check out the track by mitzidodge too. Enjoy!
