Archive for April, 2012


Wow.

I haven’t been this excited for a new movie in years and years. I cannot wait.

As an advertising professional, if I had cut these spots they would be the entirety of my reel. I absolutely love the panda’s contempt for everyone. My friend Sean posted this on my Facebook page today and I needed to share it with everyone else. When first watching, I thought the panda was going to appeal to their kindness with his sad face and cuddly cheeks, but then he starts fucking up their SE30s (running DOS for some reason) and everything gets a lot better. He pulls the guy’s fucking IV drip off in the next one, for Christ’s sake.

Amazing! I love it! GET PISSED, PANDA!

I salute you, Middle Eastern cheese company, for making downright wonderful ads for your cheese and for not being afraid to take it there. Everyone else trying to make things “viral”, take a cue from these guys.

Holy living fuck, this is awesome. I know the other day I was all, “It’s going to be slow here,” but how could I not share this? This is fucking amazing.

Sure, the opening drags on a little, but I think it sets the stage for the second half of the video nicely. And if you don’t have 9 minutes for Cattle Decapitation, what do you have 9 minutes for? Probably nothing. I really like the distorted video superimposition on the live footage they repurposed for this video. It all blends so seamlessly you’d never know it wasn’t shot together. And the bloodwall/screaming/eyeballs editorial crescendo at 8:21ish? So good.

Dear The Black Laser,

I would start this off with pleasantries and an inquiry into how you were doing, but we both know that is totally unnecessary. We both know how you (we) (I) are doing, so let’s just skip to the meat of this letter, shall we? Ok.

The Black Laser, my old friend, my alter-ego, my weird internet outlet, I am growing incredibly bored of you. For years you have been a place where I can share whatever random crap I’ve been thinking about or enjoying or learning about. I really liked that. It was nice to come here and think, “You know what? I bet someone out there would want to watch a death metal video today because I want to watch a death metal video today. Let’s find one.” This site has more than 1100 examples of exactly that train of thought. “Maybe someone out there will enjoy this piece of ephemera as much as I do. Share time!”

My regular readers will recognize that over the last few months the regularity and quality of my posts have dropped. Indeed, they are dropping still. Currently on the front page there is a post dating from March 30. That means that I have written fewer than 8 posts for all of April. Posting this letter will push that March entry off the front page, but the point still stands. I am just not writing that much here these days. It has not been some conscious decision, but just a lack of joy in the process. I am uninterested, unfulfilled, uninspired.

I don’t hate you, The Black Laser. I am just having a hard time these days mustering up the energy to contribute to you regularly. I am not thinking of funny things to rant about. I am not able to give a damn about most of the music I am finding these days. Work is slow. Life is slow. My brain is messy. And you have been a casualty of that, my old friend. You are not the only aspect of my life suffering, but you are a visible, public one and the fade has been clear.

What does this mean for your future, The Black Laser? Nothing really. This is not a good bye, but a “don’t get too excited because it’s going to be slow going for a bit.” Even writing this letter is like pulling teeth. I am fighting just to finish it and not give up in the middle and let it slide. Just terrible.

I’m sorry.

Sincerely,

Me.

There are very few things I miss about not having cable television in my house. Commercials, reality tv, the expense. I don’t want any of that crap in my life. But Dr. Steve Brule? I miss Dr. Steve Brule.

And baseball. Oh my god I miss baseball. Enough that I thought about having cable installed this year for the season. But I didn’t. For your health.

Between revisions today, I was listening to School of Seven Bells new album Ghostory (thoughts soon), and then wondered why I had never sought out any of their music videos. It’s weird because “I L U” from 2010′s Disconnect From Desire was hands-down my favorite track of the year. It’s just so damn catchy but also really pretty. I still really like it.

Well, a quick Yotubs search turned up the official video for the song. Here it is, nearly a year and a half after I wrote about how much I love this track. The video is really good too, even if I think the papier-mâché marionettes are incredibly creepy. It has all the things I like in music videos: simplicity, strength of concept, and beauty. It’s touching AND terrifying. “Awwwww, the dude and the chick are in love and they’re going at it! OH MY GOD THOSE CORPSE MARIONETTES ARE FUCKING EACH OTHER AND, HOLY LIVING FUCK, IT’S REACHING IN AND PULLING THE HEART OUT OF THE OTHERONE!!!!!

Great work all around.

Remember IDM? Of course you don’t! Don’t lie! No one remembers IDM unless you were a total EDM nerd in the 90s and early 00s.

So, assuming you don’t remember, did you know that Aphex Twin wasn’t the only person making music like he did? Of course you didn’t. No one does. No one! Well, Charles does. For sure. Anyway, there was this cat who called himself Squarepusher who was doing a whole lot of excellent bleep bloop music in the 90s and early 00s and now he’s back (not that he’s gone away) with a video from his forthcoming album Ufabulum which I am not sure how to pronounce.

The video is pretty sweet, delightfully minimal, and perfectly complements his sound. If you were wondering (and I know you were), this is what college sounded like to me.

The Atlas Moth released one of my favorite metal records of last year, so it should come as no surprise that I am posting this first video from An Ache for the Distance for the track “Your Calm Waters.”

The video is kind of…eh. It has moments (some of the underwater stuff looks nice) but is kind of mired in boring metal video tropes and cruddy post production. (The chroma key at the beginning of the video? Wow.) It’s too bad, too, because I really love this song. But I am willing to forgive them this minor misstep on the strength of the record. It is really incredible and any fan of heavy music should seek it out and add it to their collection. I sincerely promise you won’t regret it.