Menu Close

Tag: Star Wars

Star Wars on Blu-ray

Have you preordered yet? I did.

I have an important question.

Why has this guy not recreated the ENTIRE first Star Wars film like this?

These pieces were done by animator Malcolm Sutherland for Star Wars Uncut, a project to recreate Star Wars: A New Hope in 15 second chunks. But Sutherland’s are so sublimely odd and brilliant that they make me wish he’d done all 473 or whatever chunks.

I mean, really, how great are these?

Power Metal & Me, or, Why I Cannot Take Myself Too Seriously

Over at Invisible Oranges today, Cosmo Lee is further exploring his distaste for power metal. Personally, I like power metal. It’s cheesy and stupid and ridiculous, but it is also totally awesome. It’s like you’ve got a bunch of dudes sitting around after an epic campaign of AD&D (2nd ruleset, duh) and they’re all talking about how to make the most epic metal ever.

“Well guys, we probably need operatic vocals,” says one.

“And probably powerful sweeping guitars,” says another.

“And the guitars could have solo battles with the synthesizers,” says a third.

“Yeah, that would be rad,” says the first.

“And we probably need a constant barrage of double bass drums,” says yet another.

“And our lyrics should be about elves and unicorns and dragons and shit.”

And thus was Power Metal born into this world. If ever there was a metal genre filled with earnest as hell guys pursuing the impossible dream by making the silliest, unicorn-filled music ever, it is Power Metal.

Here is a selection of some of my favorites of the genre. Let’s start with Rhapsody, perhaps THE awesome, MOST ridiculous Power Metal band of all time. Even better, they’re Italian. This is “Power of the Dragonflame.” Is that not an awesome song title?

Next is Demons & Wizards, probably my first intro to true modern Power Metal. My friend Deegan came over one day and was all, “Dude, do you have Napster?” and I was all, “Over dial up, yeah,” and he was all, “Dude, find a song called ‘Poor Man’s Crusade’ right now,” and I was all, “Ok.” Well, I did and it was AWESOME.

This song, “Fiddler on the Green,” is from the same record. It is, I think my favorite song on the record and has a 3 and a half minute build to insanely powerful power metal magic.

Star One is a one-off side project by Anthony Arjen Lucassen of Ayreon. The record, called “Space Metal,” is a Power Metal concept record based on Science Fiction movies.

Wait. Read that again.

A POWER METAL CONCEPT RECORD BASED ON SCIENCE FICTION MOVIES. What the fucking fuck? That is so awesome. Films include Stargate, Star Wars, and fucking Dune. Honestly, I can’t think of anything that combines dork and awesome more perfectly.

Here’s a fan-made video for “Eye of Ra” from that record.

Dream Evil, who I posted one below this one, is a Swedish Power Metal band I saw for the first time live playing with Carnal Forge, Testament, Immortal, and Rob Halford—a strange line up to be sure. But they totally rock. Here’s “Fire, Battle, Metal!”

Hammerfall is another band doing epic heavy cheese as well as anyone and they totally rock. This is “Renegade.”

With this light survey of Power Metal under our belts, what do we now understand. For me, Power Metal is awesome if you are able to relax and not take yourself too seriously. While I think that there are guys in this scene who live and breathe this shit, I also think there’s a significant contingent of guys who are laughing right along with the fans. Sometimes you can make and enjoy things just because they’re fun. That, more than unicorns and dragons and elves and trolls, is what Power Metal is about for me. I love Pig Destroyer, but my music doesn’t always have to be so serious.

David Lynch on rejecting Return of the Jedi

Did I ever tell you about my David Lynch dream? David Lynch and I were walking around a Blockbuster trying to decide of a video to rent. I can’t remember if we picked something or not, but we finished up and went outside. We walked along the street somewhere in California, under an overpass, and then decided to get some coffee. We passed a Starbucks and went in, which is odd because I hate Starbucks, but in we went. Inside, we saw Laura Dern sitting at a table. “Hi, Laura,” I said to her. “Hi, Joe,” she said to me. “David.” “Laura,” he said. And then there was a bunch of really weird tension and I felt super uncomfortable. Then Lynch went outside and waited until I’d gotten the coffees and I made the “Oh, awkward” stretched mouth face at Laura Dern. And then I woke up.

Is it weird to dream about the relationship tension between two people you’ve never met?

Here’s another of my favorite Lynch moments for you to enjoy.

Hahaha. He’s so great. Whether you enjoy his films or not, you have to appreciate the man for sticking to his guns and making work he loves.

Dear Gardner…

…thank you for the most wonderful photo montage I have ever seen.


No seriously, this warms my heart. God must be having a party right now.

Boo-yah. Ding, dong.

Wow, I am sorry about all the videos today, but there are so many worth sharing.

Here’s another related video I enjoy.

And another.

Ok. I’m done. For now.

Star Wars by someone who has never seen it

There are people out there who haven’t seen Star Wars? Even 3 year olds have seen Star Wars.

See? I even think that her estimation of the plot is better.

“Hans Solo”? Seriously?