Menu Close

Tag: Japan (page 2 of 3)

On the topic of vacations

I’ve recently felt a very strong urge to vacate on a solo mission. I want to just go by myself and get the fuck out of Brooklyn for a minute and see what sort of adventure I can have when I’m all by myself. I have solo missions here all the time and I quite like them, but I’d like to try doing it somewhere totally foreign to me. The only thing limiting me is my inability to speak anything but English. OOPS. So where do I go?

Reykyavik, Iceland – Seems pretty awesome and I should be able to get by. I’ve wanted to go and I think the opportunity to eat puffin and sheep’s face is pretty attractive. The country is beautiful and getting there is not difficult.

Berlin – Jesse has been harping on me to go to Berlin for about a hundred years. The model of efficiency he says. Everything’s on time he says. You can drink beer for breakfast he says. They have metal bars all over he says. These things all seem good to me and it will come with the added bonus of never having to hear him tell me I should go to Berlin ever again.

Italia – This was on the docket from late last year but I am not sure it’s going to work out. I was going to go visit someone, but it seems like there won’t be time for it which is very very disappointing and I would have a hard time wandering around trying to understand what the hell people are talking about.

Japan – I am convinced that this would be like visiting the future, and what better place for The Space Pope than the future? This is easily the most expensive of the ideas I am throwing around right now and as such probably the least likely.

Vancouver – I’ve always heard that this is the coolest city in America’s Hat and I would like to see it. I love Montreal a lot, and though they are very different, I would like to explore it and the nature surrounding it. I would watch a hockey game and sit on the beach and read with a parka on. Sounds lovely to me.

Buenos Aires – I can probably fumble through my shitty Spanish down in Argentina. I just want to eat red meat and drink red wine.

Thoughts, Black Laserites? Where should the Space Pope venture off to by his lonesome?

Oh seriously, what the FUCK, Japan?!?

Dear Japan, again,

Seriously? What the fuck. Cabbage slide flute? Are you for serious?

You do know that, in this man, you possess a tremendous national treasure, don’t you? It would be a shame if he was not allowed to pursue his produce instrument art with your fullest support.

Let me repeat myself for emphasis. Cabbage. Slide flute.

Cabbage slide flute.


Joe Dillingham
The Black Laser

Big Broccoli Ocarina

Dear Japan,

Please don’t ever stop making weird people. I love video like this so much I can hardly contain myself. Where I’ve written a few sane sentences, I’ve tried my best not to explode into a stream of expletives and exclamation points and repetition of the word “awesome”. I desire wholeheartedly to see more enthusiastic Japanese men play western Christmas music on homemade produce instruments as their wives accompany them on a regular instrument. For example, I’d like to hear “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” played on marimbas made from coconuts and accompanied by a zither. Or perhaps “Little Drummer Boy” on a carrot flute with a theremin. Or “Mele Kalikimaka” on watermelon guitar with a violin.

Whatever you do, please do NOT allow two people to play two different kinds of produces instruments. This is an illustration of what might happen.

I mean that. Please, for the world’s sake, be very very careful.


Joe Dillingham
The Black Laser

All weird little dogs should have eyebrows.


goodmorning theremin テルミンで東風(TONG POO)

Ok, here’s a list of things I either liked or learned in this video.

  1. The Japanese lady is playing a Russian electronic instrument invented early in the 20th century built by an American company. Go global.
  2. It sounds like a shamisen!
  3. I NEED to have a Japanese woman to wake me in the mornings playing the theremin like this.
  4. This performance is amazing. Really, really amazing
  5. Japan is awesome!
  6. Other things!

So, there you go. This video is awesome and you should watch it, and, after watching it, like it. Because it’s really good.

Thanks, Peter!

Tokyo’s oldest man…but he’s been dead for three decades.

It’s official: Japan is WEIRD AS FUCK.

Tokyo’s ‘oldest man’ had been dead for 30 years

He was thought to be the oldest man in Tokyo – but when officials went to congratulate Sogen Kato on his 111th birthday, they uncovered mummified skeletal remains lying in his bed.

Mr Kato may have been dead for 30 years according to Japanese authorities.

They grew suspicious when they went to honour Mr Kato at his address in Adachi ward, but his granddaughter told them he “doesn’t want to see anybody”.

Police are now investigating the family on possible fraud charges.

‘Living Buddha’

Welfare officials had tried to meet Mr Kato since early this year. But when they went to visit, family members repeatedly chased them away, according to Tomoko Iwamatsu, an Adachi ward official.

Authorities grew suspicious and sought an investigation by police, who forced their way into the house on Wednesday.

They discovered a mummified body, believed to be Kato, lying in his bed, wearing underwear and pyjamas, covered with a blanket.

Mr Kato’s relatives told police that he had “confined himself in his room more than 30 years ago and became a living Buddha,” according to a report by Jiji Press.

But the family had received 9.5 million yen ($109,000: £70,000) in widower’s pension payments via Mr Kato’s bank account since his wife died six years ago, and some of the money had recently been withdrawn.

The pension fund had long been unable to contact Mr Kato.

“His family must have known he has been dead all these years and acted as if nothing happened. It’s so eerie,” said Yutaka Muroi, a Tokyo metropolitan welfare official.

Original article here. And also, double ewe tea eff?


An all girl Japanese synth trio? SIGN ME UP.


I don’t have an iPhone. I’m such a luddite. Today one my clients informed me of Photospeak which will take a photo of a face and then animate it according to an audio track. Then it uploads the video to Youtube. What the fuck. The Japanese are crazy.

Here’s a few of the weirdest ones I found.

This is the first thing I’ve encountered that’s made me wish I had an iPhone. I have about 11 million ideas for this.