Here are some things I think mix well.
Here are some things I think mix poorly.
Expect further updates to this list in the future.
On a completely unrelated note, here is a photo of me from just a moment ago. I am wearing Sue’s amazing Christmas sweater.
In the wake of the Christmas holiday, I wonder how many of you fully understand the true threat of Santa Claus. Obviously, Santa, as a clear anagram of SATAN, is the Great Deceiver in disguise, leading our youth into degeneracy and sin. Santa wears red; Satan wears red. Santa goes by the moniker “Old St. Nick”; Satan goes by the moniker “Old Nick”. Santa has a beard; Satan has a beard. Truth be told, the parallels are far too many and too clear to be anything but the honest truth. Here, hard, cold logic prevails in proving that Santa Claus and Satan are THE ONE AND THE SAME—the Prince of Darkness, the Lord of Flies, The Great Deceiver, Beelzebub, Lucifer.
Don’t believe me? Well, get the full low-down right here:
I think my favorite piece of “logic” from the page I’ve linked is this:
What about Claus?
Is “Claus” another anagram for “Lucas”?
It’s no secret Lucas and Lucis are new-age “code words” for Lucifer. The Alice Bailey founded new age, occult publishing company was originally named Lucifer Publishing Company but in 1924 the name was cleverly changed to Lucis Trust. By the way, the Lucifer worshipping Lucis Trust is a major player in the works of the United Nations, formerly located in the United Nations building but now located on prime-time 1200 Wall Street.
Claus sounds a lot like “claws.”
Maybe Santa Claus means “Satan’s Claws”? Like a lion’s “claws”?
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
1 Peter 5:8
The emphasis is mine. What sterling, marvelous reasoning is presented here! Clearly “Claus” is just a secret, “new-age” (code for lesbian witch satanists who hate America) way of conjuring the Devil’s name: Lucifer. Duh. I mean, isn’t it obvious? Anyone can see the truth in that!
Here’s another marvelous gem of deductive reasoning.
Everyone knows Santa lives at the North Pole.
Brrr. . . Why the north pole? Nobody lives at the North Pole. . . Why did they pick the NORTH Pole?
Could it possibly be because someone else lives in the north?
Then he brought me to the door of the gate of the LORD’S house which was toward the north; . . . Ezekiel 8:14
1 Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised in the city of our God, in the mountain of his holiness.
2 Beautiful for situation, the joy of the whole earth, is mount Zion, on the sides of the north, the city of the great King. Psalm 48:1-2The Lord dwells in “the north, the city of the great King”.
By the way, remember what Lucifer said in Isaiah 14:13, when he rebelled against God? Remember where he was going to exalt his throne?
12 How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!
13 For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:
14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High. Isaiah 14:12-14Where else would Satan (oops. . . it’s just too easy to get those two mixed up) Claus be but in the NORTH?
Oh, jeez, of course! Santa live in the North Pole, and Satan, who wants to be like God, ALSO LIVES IN THE NORTH. Therefore they are the same person! Wow! I can’t believe I never recognized this before.
Well, now that all you good boys and girls are saved by hearing the Good News I have relayed to you here, remember that Christmas time is a time for remembering Christ (who was not born in December) by decorating a cold weather evergreen tree (not native to Israel), giving gifts (like the Magi, I’ll give you this), and surrounding yourself with northern European symbols of winter (zuh?) and the solstice! It is not a time to revere the heathen image of Santa (SATAN) Claws for he is naught but the Devil himself in Disguise!
Don’t forget kids, Jesus loves you and he wants you to hate those that are different, i.e., non-white, non-Protestant, both of which categories the historical Jesus falls under!
Merry Christmas!
I am reading Theft by Peter Carey right now and I must say that I am enjoying it. I like how he bounces between two imperfect narrators to reveal aspects of the story that might not come through just one narrator’s internal filter.
Anyway, I was reading on the subway as I do, and I read something that made me laugh aloud. Here you go. A passage from the book used completely without permission.
The taxis in New York are a total nightmare. I don’t know how anybody tolerates them, and I am not complaining about the eviscerated seats, the shitty shock absorbers, the suicidal left-hand turns, but rather the common faith of all those Malaysian Sikhs, Bengali Hindus, Harlem Muslims, Lebanese Christians, Coney Island Russians, Brooklyn Jews, Buddhists, Zarathustrians—who knows what?—all of them with the rock-solid conviction that if you honk your bloody horn the sea will part before you. You can say it is not my business to comment. I am a hick, born in a butcher’s shop in Bacchus Marsh, but fuck them, really. Shut the fuck up.
Dear America,
Do you remember my last posting?
I thought I was annoyed then, but now I am truly mortified.
Did someone working at Walmart really need to die so that you could get discounted Dora The Explora’ merchandise for your kids? Are you kidding me? Not only is this tragic, but it makes me so fucking sick I could throw up all over everything. I’ve said this before, but they are just things, people. That TV or whatever will be there tomorrow. No one needs to die for you to fulfill your consumer tendencies.
Look, new TVs are cool. I get it. I have a TV. I like it. It allows me to watch films and nature shows at home. It also allows me to waste time and sleep killing Super Mutants in Fallout 3 on my 360. I get it. That stuff is good. But no one needs to die for you to get your Rachel Ray fix. The worst part about it is that the guy died at a Walmart which means that he didn’t even die for a luxury item like a Ferrari or something, not that it matters, but come on. I walked into the store casually, purchased the television and had delivery arranged. NO ONE DIED. Amazing, right?
Call me crazy, but I don’t think saving 10% on some crap I don’t need anyway is worth the stress induced by massive swarms of people like wasps attacking someone who has violated the sanctity of their nest. It brings to mind a day last year when Juli and I went to Macy’s to buy some plates because we were going to have people over for Christmas dinner. We were in the basement and carefully tried to select plates without any chips or nicks. When we got home, she discovered a plate with a minor chip on the bottom lip and she suggested I go back an get my money for it. I nearly flipped my shit at the prospect of wading through the thronging mobs at Macy’s on 34th Street just to return a fucking chipped plate. Maybe I overreacted (just a tad), but there is a reason I do most of my shopping at off hours and online. I cannot take the crowds and craziness.
So believe me when I say I cannot comprehend the mindset that drives people to stampede a big box store on Long Island and kill someone working the door. Just crazy. In the end I am not surprised; people have tremendous potential for idiocy and mania. It is sad that something so utterly trivial prompted such bad behavior.
And India? Wow. I don’t even know what to think about that yet.
Humanity, you need a time out.
Dearest readers and RSS addicts,
On December 12th the Metric System will be hosting its premiere party, announcing itself to the world. The Metric System is a group of folks in and around the New York City area who have created a support network for like-minded creative types to facilitate the realization of projects and performances and whatever else strikes their fancy.
Don’t take my word for it, though. Check the site—The Metric System.
This is the invite that is floating around for the party.
Come by. I’ll be there acting as official party photographer. And, if my soothing presence isn’t enough lure for you to show up, there will be art and music and sushi and sake and beer and all sorts of great crap that you just can’t turn down. Besides, it’s from 8-10 on a Friday which makes it the perfect time to come out and pregame for what will probably turn into a massive Friday night. Besides, art and music! Who doesn’t love art and music? For free?
If you read this, I expect to see you there.
Of course you do. Who wouldn’t? Here’s how to do it.
Safari (Mac) – You don’t have to do a thing. Good job!
OmniWeb (Mac) – Go to Preferences > Appearance and make sure the little check box for “Use ColorSync™” is checked. Restart the browser. Fun!
Firefox (Mac/Windows/Linux) – In the address bar type “about:config” without the quotes. You’ll get a dialog box that looks something like this:
You can ignore the warning if you wish. I do, but I’m just crazy like that. Click on through and you’re going to get a whole load of options in text format. I don’t suggest messing around in here unless you’ve got a good idea of what you’re doing.
The line you’re looking for is gfx.color_management.enabled. The easiest way to find this amidst the myriad other settings is to type “gfx” in the filter bar. It should be the second option there.
The default value for this is false. Just double click the word “false” and it will change to “true”. Restart Firefox and BAM you have color managed websites. Pretty sweet.
Camino (Mac) – This will only work with the test builds of Camino 2.0 now, so you 1.6.4 users and earlier are shit out of luck. If you are using a 2.0 build, the directions are the same as for Firefox.
Flock (Mac/Windows/Linux) – Just follow the Firefox directions.
Opera (Mac/Windows/Linux) – I have no idea how to do this in Opera.
Internet Explorer (Windows) – Seriously? Just download Firefox already. You’ll be happy you did. And to you people viewing this site with Internet Explorer 6, you REALLY need to get Firefox. I promise your life will be better for it. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but your browsing will be better for sure.