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Posts tagged as “Horrible”

Death of a Legend

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Joe Ades, legendary salesman of carrot peelers made in Switzerland by people who make knives for doctors, has passed away. I loved walking past him in the mornings on the way to work. I always enjoyed that he used the same damn lines on people every single time and would often be rewarded with a crowd surrounding him as he shredded yet another hapless carrot. Oh how many carrots he must have peeled! A true New York icon has been lost. If you, dear reader, have experienced Joe the Peeler Salesman, leave a comment.

But, if you’ve never been fortunate enough to see his shtick, here are a few videos.

Photo from the NYTimes

What is it with me and hard drives?

God fucking damn it. Why am I cursed to kill every single hard drive I put something important onto? It doesn’t matter how regularly I use it, how often or rarely it moves, how full or empty I keep it—if I’ve put something on it that I do not have a copy of somewhere else, it will fail at exactly the moment when it shouldn’t. Let’s examine our latest catastrophic drive failure, shall we?

A few months ago I purchased a Drobo and a couple of server-class SATA drives to fill it. All well and good. It seemed to have been working fine under both Windows and the Mac (I have a dual boot on my MacBookPro) until yesterday when it refused to mount and I was blessed with this lovely error message.

drobo-error

Oh no, I thought. This is not going to be good. When a drive goes down, I generally try and repair it with the least invasive method possible—ejecting it and power cycling. You have no idea how often that will do the trick. The next step is to switch the port which the cable is connected to. When those don’t fix the problem, I pull out the big guns, either DiskWarrior or Techtool, depending on what I think the issue is. If I think it’s a hard disk controller issue, then I use TechTool. If I think it’s a directory issue, I use DiskWarrior. This combo has fixed a number of disks I feared lost. So, when the Drobo (which I named Cthulhu) refused to mount, I ran, of course, DiskWarrior on it. After a seemingly interminable repair routine, the drive mounted and everything seemed to be running ok. Usually these things continue to be ok. It is absurd to have a disk array with redundant storage that you need to keep a backup of, but I guess that’s what’s happened here. I might mention here that I e-mailed Drobo for help and have not yet heard back from them 24-hours later. Their knowledgebase was similarly unhelpful.

Today when I got home, I plugged in my laptop as I usually do, but the Drobo did not mount. Fuck. The Drobo’s utility, Drobo Dashboard, reports that not only is my data intact on the drives, but that the drives themselves are just honky dory doin’ fine. Fucking cool, except the directory structure is so fucked that the Mac OS will no longer even see the partition on the drive. At least yesterday it saw the partition even if it failed to mount. The only times I’ve ever seen the hardware for the drive recognized in Disk Utility but not the partition has been when there is actually physical damage to the delicate platters that make up the drive. That is clearly not the case here. The drives themselves are fine; the software is fucked.

So, when the drive didn’t mount, I ran DiskWarrior again. It failed to scan the drive once, so I tried again and when it behaved the same way as before, I canceled it. Then I was greeted with this horrifying message.

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Holy motherfucking fuck. Are you serious? Ok. This is new. Soooo maybe running DiskWarrior on a disk array with some crazy custom fucking file system bullshit going on in the background wasn’t a GREAT idea. Sue me. What would have done? That’s right—the exact same thing.

Now here I am, angry, confused, a little lonely, and at a total loss. I’ve got all my photos (important), the rough cut of my film (important, but less so), and all of my music (importantish) locked inside a drive array that just doesn’t want to play nice. I am going to go to TekServe tomorrow to buy the cheapest 1.5tb drive I can find and then I am going to run a data recovery program, Data Rescue, on the drive. I first encountered Data Rescue when I experienced my first hard drive catastrophe a few years ago when my 500gb LaCie drive got knocked over while it was performing some write operations. POOF! All of my data gone. Data Rescue was the only program even capable of SEEING the drive after that, but it did one better and actually showed me what was on the drive. Impressive. So I have high hopes that it will be able to rescue the data on Cthulhu that needs rescuing so that I can reformat the fucker and get to using it again, especially after downloading the demo, running the Quick Scan, and it revealing every single file on there. Good! It seems like the data are not corrupt, even if the directory structure has just taken a fierce one right in the ass.

I suspect that the problem is coming from the combination of MacDrive and WinXP. I had a problem almost EXACLTY like this with an old drive, but I was able to recover it because it wasn’t some fancy shmancy array. I think all this started the other night (duh) after Windows crashed and I had to force the shut down. Everything was beautiful until then. Since, things have only progressively descended into the flaming pit of hard drive hell. Fuck.

I will keep you updated on what becomes of this debacle.

Dipshit tires to outlaw “profanity”

robertfordWhat the fuck? Are you serious?

Sen. Robert Ford pushes to outlaw profanity

Oh, yeah, real good. Why not burn the Bill of Rights while you’re at it, smart guy? Who is to say what is considered “profanity” in your ill-defined, unconstitutional, piece of trash bill? Oh, you don’t like me talking about “dicks” and saying the word “fuck”? 5000 dollar fine!

You don’t like the word “clementine”? 5000 DOLLAR FINE!

You don’t like the word “nipple”? 5000 DOLLAR FINE!!!!!

You don’t like the phrase “Amendment I—Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”?

I know that there has been a movement recently to restrict people’s rights, but you’ve got to be kidding me. Go find another way to get your name in the headlines. I suggest doing humanitarian work or passing legislation that enhances, expands, and supports people’s rights.

Undefeatable is in the house

undefeatble-coverAnd it’s much, much worse than even the clip from before would seem to indicate. Alternatively going by the title “Cui hua kuang mo,” “Undefeatable” stars Cynthia Rothrock as Kristi Jones and Don Niam as “Stingray,” who, clearly, has no need of a surname. The oneline for the plot says it all, “Kristi Jones (Cynthia Rothrock) avenges her sister’s death at the hands of a crazed martial arts rapist.” Oh wow. If you had not wanted to see the movie before, how could you possibly resist now?

Not yet convinced? How about some reviews from IMDB?

Possibly the best creation in human history.

When I first saw this movie, I soiled myself. Not only does it feature my favorite actor Don Niam, it also has my second favorite actor Todd Weinguard as Maniac Gang member #4. This movie contains Don Niam’s hair which is probably the most significant thing to ever happen to theater. Ever. It should be required by law that everyone must watch this movie. I will definitely name my first,second, and fourth child Stingray. My third child will be named anus for obvious reasons. Anyways, I highly recommend this movie. If you want to cry, laugh, defecate on yourself, and become erect at the same time, see this movie. Please make a sequel Mr. Ho.

Oh man this is bad…

This is the worst movie I have ever seen. I felt compelled to write this review however, not because I think the film should be avoided, but on the contrary, I believe everyone should own a copy of “Undefeatable (that barely even sounds like a grammatically correct word).” The plot, the acting, the fighting, and the lines (oh my goodness the lines are great) are so far below even your average C- film that combined, they create a comprehensively miserable whole. Go out and rent this video, buy a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon, call up your buddies, and sit down for what might be one of the more memorable movie experiences of your life.

Undefeatable is Unbelievable!
Rarely does one experience in the world of movie making a work that both shocks and enthralls. Undefeatable is a powerhouse. As is its sexy cast of butt kickin’ martial arts ladies. The setting, University of Maryland gymnasium. The script, poetic. The action, jolting. The production, one that elicits comparison to a Lord of the Rings. The producers certainly make use of technology utilizing action photography techniques used in mega budget films like the Matrix.

Although not recommended for children, this feel good cinematic adventure gives new meaning to the integration of performance art and dismemberment.

Bravo! Rumors are swirling about the sequel ‘Undefeatable II – Return of the Eyeballs’.

Not yet enough?! Feel free to browse through all three pages of user comments on IMDB.

I haven’t had a chance yet to really sit down and bask in the full glory of “Undefeatable”, but what I have seen so far in addition to the fight scene I posted a few days ago is truly amazing. Keep your eyes peeled for a full review with pictures in the near (or not near) future.

The Day the (Robot) Music Died

Florian Schneider (L) and Ralf Hütter (R) in less mechanical days.
Florian Schneider (L) and Ralf Hütter (R) in less mechanical days.

Terrible news. Florian Schneider has officially left Kraftwerk. This leaves Ralf Hütter as the only remaining founding member, of, well, the two of them, Ralf and Florian. Can a band really go on when the two founding members have played together for 40 years and one of them leaves? I am doubtful. Then again, when was the last time Kraftwerk actually released a record of new material? 2003’s Tour De France Soundtracks? Whichever way you look at it, this is a dark day for fans of robot music.

On this rainy Wednesday afternoon…

I thought I might share with you the finest fight choreography I have ever had the distinct misfortune of seeing.

I know this clip has been floating around for a long time, but, God damn, it is good.

Keep an eye out for ya, Stingray.

Yeah! See ya!

Update – It’s from a movie called Undefeatable. Does anyone have this? Can you please send it to me? Seriously, I would love you forever.

A list of things that DO and DO NOT combine well

Here are some things I think mix well.

  • Brown gravy and cranberry sauce.
  • Tater tots and honey roasted peanuts.
  • Grind and electro.
  • Sopressata and goat cheese.

Here are some things I think mix poorly.

  • Genitals and zippers.
  • Yams and marshmallows.

Expect further updates to this list in the future.

On a completely unrelated note, here is a photo of me from just a moment ago. I am wearing Sue’s amazing Christmas sweater.

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