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Tag: Canada

Canadians are serious about safety. DEADLY serious.

Dear Draft FCB and Canada,

What the fuck? These are amazing. I think I watched the guy blow up like 10 times. I’ll probably watch him blow up another 10. If you do another round of these, can I please please please please please be the guy who yells “there’s been an accident!” I promise not to goof around too much and add “eh” to the end of each of my reads. Only a few takes will sound like this:

“There’s been an accident, eh! Sorry for yelling!”

Please? PLEASE?!

Thanks to Sarah for making my day hilariously darker with these amazing PSAs from America’s hat.

EDIT \\\\ Sarah sent me a compilation video of all 5 spots. WOW. I’ve replaced the videos above with the supercut. Original links here and here.

Austra’s “Spellwork”

Firmly at the top of my “Am I Secretly a Lesbian” playlist in Spotify, Austra is a Canadian group that I sort of stumbled on somehow but that I really dig. They’ve written an excellent record of dark electro-pop that is kind of Bat For Lashes, kind of Fever Ray, kind of old school Ladytron, but still totally their own thing. I’ve been listening to it a lot on my commute.

As far as the video goes, I have no damned idea what’s going on. Probably some super cool, next level, Canadian artsy lesbian shit that I don’t know about. Whatever it is, they seem to having a very earnest time. Good for them.

On the topic of vacations

I’ve recently felt a very strong urge to vacate on a solo mission. I want to just go by myself and get the fuck out of Brooklyn for a minute and see what sort of adventure I can have when I’m all by myself. I have solo missions here all the time and I quite like them, but I’d like to try doing it somewhere totally foreign to me. The only thing limiting me is my inability to speak anything but English. OOPS. So where do I go?

Reykyavik, Iceland – Seems pretty awesome and I should be able to get by. I’ve wanted to go and I think the opportunity to eat puffin and sheep’s face is pretty attractive. The country is beautiful and getting there is not difficult.

Berlin – Jesse has been harping on me to go to Berlin for about a hundred years. The model of efficiency he says. Everything’s on time he says. You can drink beer for breakfast he says. They have metal bars all over he says. These things all seem good to me and it will come with the added bonus of never having to hear him tell me I should go to Berlin ever again.

Italia – This was on the docket from late last year but I am not sure it’s going to work out. I was going to go visit someone, but it seems like there won’t be time for it which is very very disappointing and I would have a hard time wandering around trying to understand what the hell people are talking about.

Japan – I am convinced that this would be like visiting the future, and what better place for The Space Pope than the future? This is easily the most expensive of the ideas I am throwing around right now and as such probably the least likely.

Vancouver – I’ve always heard that this is the coolest city in America’s Hat and I would like to see it. I love Montreal a lot, and though they are very different, I would like to explore it and the nature surrounding it. I would watch a hockey game and sit on the beach and read with a parka on. Sounds lovely to me.

Buenos Aires – I can probably fumble through my shitty Spanish down in Argentina. I just want to eat red meat and drink red wine.

Thoughts, Black Laserites? Where should the Space Pope venture off to by his lonesome?

Epic Meal Time – Tequila Taco Night

“We’re stupid. Really stupid.”

I love these.

MEAT. SALAD.

Epic Meal Time is Canada’s great answer to health food cooking. In this series they explore the best ways to turn your mundane, everyday recipes upside down…with a healthy twist. For your edification, they note the caloric and fat tallies as they add ingredients to their recipes. Learn AND get a stomach boner. “Meat Salad” is their newest video and journeys down the path of creating what might be the most delicious salad known to man. To quote the video, “Salad? FUCK SALAD!”

I would also recommend their 4 Loko Chili recipe. Savory!

And, if you’re anything like me, the words “meat salad” remind you of “meat sandwich” which makes you think of GWAR. So, here’s that.

Love you AND your cardiovascular well-being, Black Laserites!

The Sour Toe Cocktail

Does anyone want to go on a roadtrip? I would seriously do this. JJ, I’m looking at you.

Guy kicked off plane for stinkin’ like hell.

With all this talk of Kevin Smith being kicked off airplanes for being a portly fuck, it’s easy to get all pissed about the airlines being total dicks or whatever. But what about when the airline actually has a legitimate reason for kicking some bastards off the flight? I’m not talking about perceived threats to your safety in the air or some other terrorism bullshit, either. I’m referring to good old fashioned offensive sons of bitches trying to make your flight hell.

For example, one Canadian Airline kicked off a guy for smelling like crap. I think my favorite little tidbit of info from the article was this.

Another passenger described the smell as “brutal.”

Brutal? HAHAHAH. I’ve experienced some brutal stinks on the subway so I can only imagine how bad this guy must have stunk. Like what the fucking fuck, guy? Are you serious? Take a fucking shower.

Montreal – 07/25/2009

Montreal is awesome. Only there for 36 hours, our trip felt much to short, too rushed, to get a good feel for the city. Nevertheless, I enjoyed my time there and wouldn’t hesitate to go back. It’s funky. It’s French as hell. It’s got a thriving metal scene. And the motherfucking Portuguese lady who took the chicken I ordered and chopped it into bits with the meat cleaver? I was in love. And I had an insta-stomachboner.

There’s nothing too special photographically about these, but they’re good and I feel like they captured the essence of our brief, wild trip in the great white northern wastes of Canada.

Here’s a link to the gallery.