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Posts published in “Thoughts”

This is the single most adorable comment I’ve ever received.

For some reason, I tend to get a lot of hits on a post I wrote in January 2010 about New Old School Death Metal. It’s one of the top hits on google when searching for “New Old School Death Metal”. I guess people dig that. That’s cool. Once in a while I get a comment from someone who has read and they are always really positive or they’ll suggest something I hadn’t thought of. I like those. People are nice.

But today I got this comment.

Isn’t that cute?!

This is my very first (!) hateful comment here on The Black Laser. It feels good, kind of like I arrived. I appreciate what he said, too, and now I have a bunch of new bands to check out which is fun. I don’t know what “morrisound” means, but I immediately thought of Morrissey, which is pretty cool. I love The Smiths, especially when I am feeling sad. I suppose he could have been nicer in his comment, but this is the internet, where anonymous communications turns everyone into the kind of asshole they’d never actually be in real life. Regardless, I guess I am just some metalhead hobbyist who believes that the excessive splitting of metal into subgenres is kind of stupid. Oh well!

Luckily for us, this fellow who goes by the handle “Nietzsche Tzu” provided a link to his Facebook account. That’s pretty neat. Do you want to see what he looks like? Sure you do.

Pretty tough. The hammer is a nice touch. I imagine that there are many nails out there who are very afraid when Mr. Tzu comes for them. Honestly, though, I think I prefer his more sensitive side.

Awwwww. Nice. Now that’s a face you want to talk to when you’re stressed out and feeling down. Unfortunately, his description of himself doesn’t seem to quite back up how sensitive he looks in the photo.

Oh no! Sounds like someone needs to be hugged before he’s ready to hug other people. Let’s look at his favorite activities…

I think maybe he needs to replace one of his two “Fighting”s with at least one “Hugging” and maybe add a “Rage management” to the list. Probably a good idea to knock “Intelligent Critical Debate” off the list, too. We’ve seen his lovely attempt at that. But maybe I’m being a bit of a dick here. I only know what he chose to present in a few brief sentences. Maybe he’s a really nice guy, out there in Austin, Texas. Funny side note, he’s from San Jose, CA which is only about 20 minutes from where I grew up. Wow!

So, thanks for reading, Mr. Tzu. I hope you’ve enjoyed your time here at The Black Laser. I work hard to make sure it’s an interesting, lively place for people to visit and maybe see or hear or read something new.

And, for fun, here’s my favorite death metal band.

Bonus points, Mr. Tzu if you can tell me in the comments what I am referencing. Cool!

UPDATE!!!!! \\\\\\\\\\\

After I posted this, Mr. Tzu commented in reply to me on the original post. Awesome!

Here’s how I dealt with it.

Click the image to see the whole thread!

The Onion – Pop Star’s Single, ‘Booty Wave’, Most Likely Civilization’s Downfall


Pop Star’s Single, ‘Booty Wave’, Most Likely Civilization’s Downfall

Yet again The Onion hits the nail square on the head. Mocking the increasingly trashy pop stars of our day and age, the clip just kills it with every line. Incredible, sad, and funny. Horrifying, really, in its absolute truth. Although, I am pretty confident that the fake video in the above talk show clip is actually less insipid than the Alexandra Stan video I’m posting below.

Surprising right? With the lengths The Onion went to make their parody as ridiculous as they could they could still not top the bad taste of some shitty Eastern European producer and his overly made-up 5 of a pop starlet.

I’ve always wanted a dude in a utilikilt to build me a fire-breathing robot pony.

There are, you will notice, in fact TWO utilikilts in this video.

Here’s what they have to say about it.

For Maker Faire Detroit 2011, I displayed a hack I made to a FurReal Friends Butterscotch Pony. My fellow LVL1 Hackers and I had taken control of the motor control system of the toy and added a flame thrower to it. It seemed to go over really well with the crowd, so I am putting up the information for anyone to make there own. It was a blast to make and I hope everyone has as much fun remaking it. Just remember that this project uses Fire and should only be built and operated by no less then 2 adults with appropriate experience in fire safety and proper fire safety equipment on hand.

And holy fuck, they’ve published instructions.

UTILIKILTS! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! This post might have contributed my favorite new post tag, though: Fire-breathing pony robot. I’ll have to think of other moments to use it.

Creative Projects-November: Unproductive, or, Go to Hell, Feelings!

November was a terribly unproductive month for me. Not a single creative project in sight, though I did have like 6 or 7 abortive attempts at my Christmas song. That doesn’t count at all. Nothing to report here.

Basically, overall, November has fucking sucked and I am glad it’s over. I’ve been in a rotten mental and emotional state, cranky, sleepless, touchy, tense, miserable. Every little thing has been setting me off and I’m lonely and stupid and that makes me feel worse. It’s all been really misdirected and awful and sometimes I just wish I could sleep through all of it and not come in to work and not leave the house and not do anything. But I can’t do that, so I suck it up. Nothing is making me feel better and nothing silences the bullshit running through my head. I am sick as fuck of it. Leave me alone, sadness! I don’t want you! Can I please wake up and not feel like a complete shit head? Thanks. That would be awesome.

Anyway, enough of that bitching and moaning. I’ll check back in after the new year.

Terry Gilliam on Kubrick VS. Spielberg

Even though he comes off as a little bit of a dick, Gilliam’s comment on the nature of art is valuable and true. Effectively, that the best art leaves strings hanging for the viewer/reader/whateverer to figure out for themselves which, I believe, creates a more intimate experience. There’s nothing like having to work for comprehension to help make a thing feel like it is your own, to build a bond with a work, to internalize it, to have it affect you. When handed all the answers, things are boring as hell. It’s one of my major pet peeves with YA fiction and, really, a lot of SF/F. I get so bored when everything is explained. Just put things in there and let us work it out through context. That is one of the things I really enjoyed about Gene Wolfe’s work. Creativity is problem solving. Jeez, that’s like my new mantra.

And like women, the easy ones are boring. There’s nothing more boring than a woman who throws herself at you. It’s the difficult ones we all like and go after. Art. Women. Women. Art. They are the same.

Might I propose a new House subgenre?

If there’s anything that fans of electronic music and metal like more than the extreme subgenrefication of their beloved music types I don’t know what it is. Take heavy metal for example: we’ve got death metal, black metal, thrash metal, speed metal, doom metal, sludge metal, prog metal, power metal, new wave of British heavy metal, new old school death metal, new wave of American black metal, tech death metal, blackened thrash metal, blackened death metal, nü-metal, metalcore, slamcore, mallcore, deathcore, thrashcore, crabcore, who knows what the fuck else. That’s just off the top of my head. I’m sure I’m missing something.

The same is true of electronic music. House, acid house, tech house, trance, psy-trance, progressive trance, electro house, disco house, minimal tech house, electroclash, gabber, horrorcore, progressive house, Detroit house, Chicago house, Miami house, booty bass, drum & bass, dubstep, brostep, EBM, synthpop, futurepop, ambient house, italodisco, ghettotech, goa, witch house, grave wave. Christ, I could keep going and going and going.

For me this extreme diversification has always seemed totally unnecessary, especially as the differences between genres become smaller and smaller to the point that they are basically indistinguishable. Is this band futurepop or EBM? Or is it EBM with synthpoppy overtones and some dubstep inspiration??? Did this band release a deathcore record and are they straying away from their traditional NOSDM roots by incorporating some slamcore elements?! DID MACHINE HEAD REALLY RELEASE A NÜ-METAL RECORD?!? (They did and it broke my heart.)

See how stupid that all sounds? Not just stupid, but utterly pointless and fruitless?

Then what the hell am I doing proposing yet another subgenre? I have my reasons!

First, for me, House music breaks down into two categories: serious and not serious. I tend not to think of it as it sounds—it’s four on the floor for dancing and was inspired by Disco? it’s house—but whether it is taking itself super seriously or not. No one seems to take that into account, and I think it’s the most important factor defining house producers. Are you going to take this shit seriously (Euro House, I’m looking at you) or are you going to have fun with it and fill it with silly lyrics and idiocy?? I much prefer the latter.

For those of you who grew up on the Moon and have never heard of house music or have some sort of poor understanding of the music, house is a genre of electronic music that came out of Chicago in the early 80s. Specifically, the name comes a club called The Warehouse where the music first really became popular. Or from the fact that DJs made it in their homes. Or from the fact that these records were the DJ’s “house” records, in the way that a restaurant has a “house” wine. Whatever. It is characterized by a four on the floor beat, off-beat hi-hats, drum machines, driving basslines, and a strong Disco influence.

Here are some examples of what I am talking about, all of which have been on the site before.

Le Le’s “Breakfast”

Duck Sauce’s “Big Bad Wolf”

The 2 Bears’ “Bear Hug”

Detroit Grand Pubahs’ “Sandwiches” (CLASSIC!)

See what I mean? These guys are making dancey as hell beats but without a serious face in the mix. I love it.

But then what do I call it? It seems unfair to lump it in with all the other subgenres of house music. The difference between these guys and some coiffed dick head is like the difference between a Gwar show and a 6 year old’s piano recital.

The subgenre needs a name. I originally thought I would call it “Goon House” since to me “Goon” is sort of a good name for that and the words sound nice together. Goon House. Goooooon Houssssse. But Michael said that it reminded him of Jersey Shore douchebags and Charles said he thought of MSTRKRFT, which is, I guess, kind of close, but not exactly right. I went to talk to Steve about it and bounced around Clown, Silly, Goofy, Nonsense, whatever this, whatever that, but nothing was clicking. Panty House? No. Bouncey House? Nope. Light House? That’s actually kind of good and funny, but I am not sure. Fun House? White House? Jack House? Takk House?

What the hell do I call it? What do you all think?

Bruce Mau’s Incomplete Manifesto For Growth

The other day as I was clicking through Tumblr, a network I am finding increasingly strange, I happened upon an image with three points labeled “Incomplete Manifesto for Growth”. After following the tumble trail to its absolute origin, I found this: Bruce Mau’s Incomplete Manifesto for Growth. Man, I love shit like this.

Originally written in 1998 by designer Bruce Mau, the list outlines his design process. But, more importantly, I think the little snippets of advice and guidance can inform any creative process, from writing to design to filmmaking to music. Whatever it is you’re struggling with creatively can benefit from some alternative perspective. You may not always take the advice, but if it causes you to think differently about the problem you’re trying to solve, then it was helpful. As I said yesterday, creativity is problem solving, and anything that helps you solve a problem is good.

And this list is filled with all sorts of good lits bits. If I were forced to pick my favorite five, they would be these.

2. Forget about good.
Good is a known quantity. Good is what we all agree on. Growth is not necessarily good. Growth is an exploration of unlit recesses that may or may not yield to our research. As long as you stick to good you’ll never have real growth.

3. Process is more important than outcome.
When the outcome drives the process we will only ever go to where we’ve already been. If process drives outcome we may not know where we’re going, but we will know we want to be there.

9. Begin anywhere.
John Cage tells us that not knowing where to begin is a common form of paralysis. His advice: begin anywhere.

11. Harvest ideas.
Edit applications. Ideas need a dynamic, fluid, generous environment to sustain life. Applications, on the other hand, benefit from critical rigor. Produce a high ratio of ideas to applications.

32. Listen carefully.
Every collaborator who enters our orbit brings with him or her a world more strange and complex than any we could ever hope to imagine. By listening to the details and the subtlety of their needs, desires, or ambitions, we fold their world onto our own. Neither party will ever be the same.

40. Avoid fields.
Jump fences. Disciplinary boundaries and regulatory regimes are attempts to control the wilding of creative life. They are often understandable efforts to order what are manifold, complex, evolutionary processes. Our job is to jump the fences and cross the fields.

I know, I know. That was six. I tried not to post the whole list. Get over it.

Check out the remainder of the 43 points here: Incomplete Manifesto for Growth.

Number 15 on the list, Ask Stupid Questions, reminds me a lot of Leonardo’s to-do list from the post yesterday. “Ask Benedetto Portinari by what means they go on ice in Flanders”?? That is a stupid ass question. Maybe I’m not asking stupid enough questions.