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Posts published in “Life”

I spoke too soon.

Welllllll, all my excitement the other day about my camera showing up today was a little premature. Unfortunately, the thing that shipped was not the camera, but the paper outlining the terms of my extended warranty. Stupid banana.

However, the camera did in fact ship today via UPS. I expect it tomorrow at best, Wednesday at the long end. Living in New York is great for getting mail. Everything gets here so quickly!

I remain patiently excited. I promise to trample no one.

Black Friday Embarrassments

Dear America,

Do you remember my last posting?

I thought I was annoyed then, but now I am truly mortified.

Did someone working at Walmart really need to die so that you could get discounted Dora The Explora’ merchandise for your kids? Are you kidding me? Not only is this tragic, but it makes me so fucking sick I could throw up all over everything. I’ve said this before, but they are just things, people. That TV or whatever will be there tomorrow. No one needs to die for you to fulfill your consumer tendencies.

Look, new TVs are cool. I get it. I have a TV. I like it. It allows me to watch films and nature shows at home. It also allows me to waste time and sleep killing Super Mutants in Fallout 3 on my 360. I get it. That stuff is good. But no one needs to die for you to get your Rachel Ray fix. The worst part about it is that the guy died at a Walmart which means that he didn’t even die for a luxury item like a Ferrari or something, not that it matters, but come on. I walked into the store casually, purchased the television and had delivery arranged. NO ONE DIED. Amazing, right?

Call me crazy, but I don’t think saving 10% on some crap I don’t need anyway is worth the stress induced by massive swarms of people like wasps attacking someone who has violated the sanctity of their nest. It brings to mind a day last year when Juli and I went to Macy’s to buy some plates because we were going to have people over for Christmas dinner. We were in the basement and carefully tried to select plates without any chips or nicks. When we got home, she discovered a plate with a minor chip on the bottom lip and she suggested I go back an get my money for it. I nearly flipped my shit at the prospect of wading through the thronging mobs at Macy’s on 34th Street just to return a fucking chipped plate. Maybe I overreacted (just a tad), but there is a reason I do most of my shopping at off hours and online. I cannot take the crowds and craziness.

So believe me when I say I cannot comprehend the mindset that drives people to stampede a big box store on Long Island and kill someone working the door. Just crazy. In the end I am not surprised; people have tremendous potential for idiocy and mania. It is sad that something so utterly trivial prompted such bad behavior.

And India? Wow. I don’t even know what to think about that yet.

Humanity, you need a time out.

My new camera

On September 17th, I preordered the new Canon 5D mkII. That was the first day it was available to preorder at Adorama, my photo supplier of choice, and only the second day after it was announced. Frank at Adorama called me last week to let me know that the camera would be shipping either Friday 11/28 or Monday 12/01. Well, it actually shipped Wednesday 11/26 (YES) and they’ve already tried to deliver it to the office according to the tracking information on the UPS site.

Do you know what that means? That means that I will receive the damn thing on Monday which means that I will have it not only in time for the Metric System party, but I will have some time before hand to dick around with it. How great is that? I am mega excited. There is nothing quite like a new toy to get the old creative juices flowing.

I had e-mailed Adorama a few weeks ago to try and get an ETA for the delivery of the camera and all they could tell me was that they anticipated having it shipped by the end of December. That was not exactly wonderful, but not entirely horrible either. There was no tentative ship date when I ordered, so there was nothing to be disappointed about with an end-of-December ship date. But now it feels like I’m getting it a month early! AWESOME.

Expect more posts in the coming week.

A (day-late) Thanksgiving post

Because I was too incapacitated with turkey yesterday to sit down at the computer and actually type anything out, here is my day-late list of the things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving in no real order, though I am more thankful for some things than others. See if you can figure out which ones! It’s like a game!

  • Family. Duh.
  • Friends.
  • Metal.
    [audio:sacrificial_suicide.mp3]
    [audio:torture_ballad.mp3|artists=Pig Destroyer|titles=Torture Ballad]
    [audio:by_demons_be_driven.mp3]
  • Cormac McCarthy.
  • Mexican food.
  • Chicken & dumplings.
  • Going for walks.
  • Having Friday (i.e., today) off.
  • Robots.
  • Wizards.
  • Unicorns.
  • Ninjas.
  • Dax Riggs.
    [audio:forgot_i_was_alive.mp3]
    [audio:ab_dead_girl.mp3]
  • Sausage.
  • Cast iron cookware.
  • Bacon.
  • Beer. (I miss you.)

If you didn’t call your important people yesterday, call them today. A day late is better than not at all.

The Metric System Party – Dec 12th

Dearest readers and RSS addicts,

On December 12th the Metric System will be hosting its premiere party, announcing itself to the world. The Metric System is a group of folks in and around the New York City area who have created a support network for like-minded creative types to facilitate the realization of projects and performances and whatever else strikes their fancy.

Don’t take my word for it, though. Check the site—The Metric System.

This is the invite that is floating around for the party.

Metric System Medium Invite
Metric System Invite

Come by. I’ll be there acting as official party photographer. And, if my soothing presence isn’t enough lure for you to show up, there will be art and music and sushi and sake and beer and all sorts of great crap that you just can’t turn down. Besides, it’s from 8-10 on a Friday which makes it the perfect time to come out and pregame for what will probably turn into a massive Friday night. Besides, art and music! Who doesn’t love art and music? For free?

If you read this, I expect to see you there.

Want to see the glorious rich pinks of The Black Laser the way God intended them to be seen?

Of course you do. Who wouldn’t? Here’s how to do it.

Safari (Mac) – You don’t have to do a thing. Good job!

OmniWeb (Mac) – Go to Preferences > Appearance and make sure the little check box for “Use ColorSync™” is checked. Restart the browser. Fun!

Firefox (Mac/Windows/Linux) – In the address bar type “about:config” without the quotes. You’ll get a dialog box that looks something like this:

You can ignore the warning if you wish. I do, but I’m just crazy like that. Click on through and you’re going to get a whole load of options in text format. I don’t suggest messing around in here unless you’ve got a good idea of what you’re doing.

The line you’re looking for is gfx.color_management.enabled. The easiest way to find this amidst the myriad other settings is to type “gfx” in the filter bar. It should be the second option there.

The default value for this is false. Just double click the word “false” and it will change to “true”. Restart Firefox and BAM you have color managed websites. Pretty sweet.

Camino (Mac) – This will only work with the test builds of Camino 2.0 now, so you 1.6.4 users and earlier are shit out of luck. If you are using a 2.0 build, the directions are the same as for Firefox.

Flock (Mac/Windows/Linux) – Just follow the Firefox directions.

Opera (Mac/Windows/Linux) – I have no idea how to do this in Opera.

Internet Explorer (Windows) – Seriously? Just download Firefox already. You’ll be happy you did. And to you people viewing this site with Internet Explorer 6, you REALLY need to get Firefox. I promise your life will be better for it. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but your browsing will be better for sure.

The Elevator Game

In the morning, I play a little game I call “The Elevator Game”. It’s pretty simple, but surprisingly fun. When I step into the elevator, I always wait to see if my floor, the sixth, will be the first stop. That’s it. The building I work in has 16 floors so you’d think that the spread would be offset toward me winning, but there is a hair salon on the 2nd floor and there is no stairwell access. I would say I win less than half the time in the morning, but when I come back from a session or where ever in the afternoon my winning percentage is much better.

Here is a photo I took that has absolutely nothing to do with this random thought.

Keep on truckin’, diaper guy!

Badly written reviews complaining that a book was badly written

I was wasting valuable time today on Amazon.com reading reviews of a book I already own when I stumbled upon this gem of a review.

this wasn’t the book version i bought, but i bought a very complete version of grimm’s fairy tales because i wanted to read fairy tales like i had earlier in my life. now i realize i was probably reading a hans christian anderson book before – translation, SOMEONE WHO COULD WRITE A STORY. the grimm’s fairy tales were so bad, i was shocked.. i know these people lived in an earlier century, but the writing was on a third grade level, the morals were non-existent and the stories were just BAD. i know they come from an earlier century, maybe when people were less educated, but that’s no excuse for ridiculously bad stories that are written horribly. i don’t know what kind of drugs everyone is using to think that grimm’s fairy tales are worth reading, but i’m here to tell the truth, they’re beyond bad. i would type an example of the worst story i read, but i can’t because i threw the book away! i can’t wait to get a hans christian anderson book and read some real, interesting fairy tales that were written well.

I was struck by the irony of someone complaining about how poorly written a book is with a poorly written comment. It seems to me that if you are going to complain about something being poorly written then your complaint had better, at the very least, be written in clear, lucid English. I’m not asking for moving depth of thought or valuable insight (though those would be nice). I’m just asking, you know, that the sentences are sentences, that the rules of spelling and punctuation are observed, and that you maybe give it one proof-read. It seems like this is probably a lot to ask of people ranting on Amazon.com, but I don’t think I’m being wholly unreasonable. I am forgiving of typos; they happen. But if you are going to bash a book for being poorly written, do me and the rest of the universe a favor and don’t immediately negate your own argument by spewing trash like this.

Personally, I quite like the book being reviewed and I don’t think it’s poorly written. You’ve got to appreciate a Cinderella story where the wicked step-mother forces the sisters to mutilate their feet to fit into the slipper and which ends with them having their eyes pecked out by birds.