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Posts published in “Life”

Dipshit tires to outlaw “profanity”

robertfordWhat the fuck? Are you serious?

Sen. Robert Ford pushes to outlaw profanity

Oh, yeah, real good. Why not burn the Bill of Rights while you’re at it, smart guy? Who is to say what is considered “profanity” in your ill-defined, unconstitutional, piece of trash bill? Oh, you don’t like me talking about “dicks” and saying the word “fuck”? 5000 dollar fine!

You don’t like the word “clementine”? 5000 DOLLAR FINE!

You don’t like the word “nipple”? 5000 DOLLAR FINE!!!!!

You don’t like the phrase “Amendment I—Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”?

I know that there has been a movement recently to restrict people’s rights, but you’ve got to be kidding me. Go find another way to get your name in the headlines. I suggest doing humanitarian work or passing legislation that enhances, expands, and supports people’s rights.

Captain’s Log – I’ve taken too much LSD

william-shatner-kidney-stone

[audio:ep7-captains_log.mp3]

This has to be the best thing I have heard in ages. Listen to the entire thing and please don’t be turned off by the fact that it’s a Star Trek joke; you’re better than that. I’ve listened to it at least four times over the last few days and it hasn’t gotten old. It comes from the Kasper Hauser podcast, which, apparently, you can get on the iTunes. I wouldn’t know. I don’t purchase copy-protection crippled, down sampled music. I’d rather get the CD and be safe in the (too common) event of a hard drive failure.

Thanks, Jesse!

President Barry

I am not overly emotional. I tend to be a little guarded with my feelings. I hesitate to become too deeply involved with anything until I can get a good feeling of what I might be getting myself into. It’s a defense mechanism that has served me well in my life, but has the added effect that I have a hard time being moved by momentous occasions. I don’t get wrapped up in the moment. The swell of the human tide has little effect on me. I just don’t feel it.

barry-portrait-sliver

Today, however, I was deeply moved by the speech that President Obama gave during the inauguration ceremony. He comes off as undeniably genuine, his positivity and hope infectious, his intelligence evident. You can’t help but be moved by the guy as he addresses untold millions of people with utter grace.

In case you didn’t get to see the speech, here it is.

Here is the full transcript at The New York Times.

I haven’t heard a speech that good in 8 years. Or longer. In fact, I’m not sure I remember a time that I’ve been present for a speech as powerful and important as this. Certainly not during Clinton or either Bush. I remember Reagan, but only for the fact that he was President and that one day we didn’t call the big country at the top of Asia the USSR anymore. So there you go.

Barry even hit on my major issue with the previous administration: the sacrificing of “unalienable rights” for the shallow illusion of safety. Sure, there are more pressing, short-term issues at stake—jobs, healthcare, the war in the Middle East—but there is nothing else happening right now that threatens what it means to be American more than the removal of our liberties so the public can imagine that they are somehow safer when getting on an airplane. And that is something that has disastrous long-term repercussions for the United States as a whole. It is a slippery slope of small sacrifices before we get to a moment when we wake up and realize that we are living in one giant, dystopian police state and have absolutely no power to do anything about it. The Bill of Rights IS The United States of America. Without it we are nothing. So, it is unbelievably ironic that the Bush administration, who in their crusade to “protect democracy” and keep America safe, have either flagrantly ignored (Patriot Act, I’m looking at you) or sought to dispense with the Bill of Rights all together. Unwarranted federal wiretapping, torture, the dissemination of fear (have you ever seen the “Terror Alert” drop?), illegal detentions—it’s like the preamble to 1984. It is refreshing to hear the new President say directly what we’ve seen happening since 9/11. It fills me with hope that someday soon I can stop being embarrassed of the country I care so much about.

But right now all he has given us are words. Beautiful, inspirational words, yes, but only words. I am anxious to see what he and his team are capable of putting into action. They have a long and incredibly difficult road ahead of them, one which I can not even begin to fathom. I sincerely hope that Barack Obama proves himself to be a man of principle, dignity, and integrity. It is what this country needs. Party politics aside, I think that is something we can all agree on.

As an aside, while watching the Presidential Parade on the television at work, I heard Anderson Cooper refer to the “President and First Lady,” and immediately thought of the Bushes. But then I realized he was talking about the Obamas and I got the chills. How’s that for emotionally distant?

Here’s to the next four years!

A photo of Sienna from my brother

sienna-r

I like this photo of my niece Sienna because she looks like a squishy, little, pink hamster baby. Isn’t she cute? My brother maintains that, objectively, she is the cutest baby in the Universe, something which, as the Space Pope, I feel it is my obligation to verify. I think that with the evidence in hand and the delightful pink ears on her hood, that he might be correct, but the Space Jury is out still. As Space Pope I can only adjudicate when everything is considered.

Undefeatable is in the house

undefeatble-coverAnd it’s much, much worse than even the clip from before would seem to indicate. Alternatively going by the title “Cui hua kuang mo,” “Undefeatable” stars Cynthia Rothrock as Kristi Jones and Don Niam as “Stingray,” who, clearly, has no need of a surname. The oneline for the plot says it all, “Kristi Jones (Cynthia Rothrock) avenges her sister’s death at the hands of a crazed martial arts rapist.” Oh wow. If you had not wanted to see the movie before, how could you possibly resist now?

Not yet convinced? How about some reviews from IMDB?

Possibly the best creation in human history.

When I first saw this movie, I soiled myself. Not only does it feature my favorite actor Don Niam, it also has my second favorite actor Todd Weinguard as Maniac Gang member #4. This movie contains Don Niam’s hair which is probably the most significant thing to ever happen to theater. Ever. It should be required by law that everyone must watch this movie. I will definitely name my first,second, and fourth child Stingray. My third child will be named anus for obvious reasons. Anyways, I highly recommend this movie. If you want to cry, laugh, defecate on yourself, and become erect at the same time, see this movie. Please make a sequel Mr. Ho.

Oh man this is bad…

This is the worst movie I have ever seen. I felt compelled to write this review however, not because I think the film should be avoided, but on the contrary, I believe everyone should own a copy of “Undefeatable (that barely even sounds like a grammatically correct word).” The plot, the acting, the fighting, and the lines (oh my goodness the lines are great) are so far below even your average C- film that combined, they create a comprehensively miserable whole. Go out and rent this video, buy a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon, call up your buddies, and sit down for what might be one of the more memorable movie experiences of your life.

Undefeatable is Unbelievable!
Rarely does one experience in the world of movie making a work that both shocks and enthralls. Undefeatable is a powerhouse. As is its sexy cast of butt kickin’ martial arts ladies. The setting, University of Maryland gymnasium. The script, poetic. The action, jolting. The production, one that elicits comparison to a Lord of the Rings. The producers certainly make use of technology utilizing action photography techniques used in mega budget films like the Matrix.

Although not recommended for children, this feel good cinematic adventure gives new meaning to the integration of performance art and dismemberment.

Bravo! Rumors are swirling about the sequel ‘Undefeatable II – Return of the Eyeballs’.

Not yet enough?! Feel free to browse through all three pages of user comments on IMDB.

I haven’t had a chance yet to really sit down and bask in the full glory of “Undefeatable”, but what I have seen so far in addition to the fight scene I posted a few days ago is truly amazing. Keep your eyes peeled for a full review with pictures in the near (or not near) future.

The Book Cover Archive

At Tor.com I read an article about a new site called The Book Cover Archive going live. It is, as the name implies, an archive of various book covers. Awesome, right? Well, for someone as book geeky as I am, it is awesome. Each entry is tagged with various meta data, allowing you to sort by and search for author, designer, genre, or publisher. Searching by author and genre is pretty standard, and being able to search by publisher is neat, but the real glory lies in being able to search by designer.

For example, here is the entry for a book I wrote about here a few weeks ago. Peter Carey Theft

The cover was designed by John Gall, who, as it turns out, designed a number of other books on my shelves: The Road, Lolita, Kafka On The Shore

Pretty cool.

Right now the site is in public beta, meaning that not everything is running at 100%. They currently have about 850 books in the database, but I can’t imagine that number not rising significantly. It also seems like a great way to find new books since each entry has a convenient link to the book’s page on Amazon. Not for me though. I have enough books for the time being. I need to stay OUT of the bookstore. But you all might need books, and might be struggling with finding something to read, so here’s a nice place to judge a book by its cover. Branch out and pick something up you might not otherwise.