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Tag: Joad Cressbeckler

Joad Cressbeckler: Homosexuality a Necessity on Cold Mountaintops


Joad Cressbeckler: Homosexuality A Necessity On Cold Mountaintops

I love Joad Cressbeckler. Let me provide you with a quotation exeplifying exactly why I love him.

You say it ain’t right for two old prospectors to tongue at each other’s peckers to keep ’em from droppin’ off in the frostbite?!

This video had me laughing until my cheeks hurt, especially the discussion of the differences in taste between cow brains and man brains and whether or not cows have minds. Genius. Who writes this shit? This is the best work The Onion does. So good every single time.

New Joad Cressbeckler! New Joad Cressbeckler!


Joad Cressbeckler Fears Genetic Modification Causes ‘Wrath-Minded Taters’

“Them Hebrews what signed my promissory note come to me and said ol’ Joad needed to have a book.”

“Who and what’s behind these taters monkeyshines?!”

“Tater disease what brung us Irish.”

“You’re tater mindin’ you’re lookin’ to infiltrate ol’ Joad’s cabin but you’re too late!”

I can not get enough of these. I love the Onion’s video news segments, but these are such genius that I wish they did them every week. I would repost every single one because I love them so so so so so so much. Everybody needs ornery old prospectors in their lives. I do.

Joad Cressbeckler: NASA Honeyfuggling America With Nonsense Space Dreams


Joad Cressbeckler: NASA Honeyfuggling America With Nonsense Space Dreams

My homie Joad is back with another installment of The Cressbeckler Stance. Honestly, if this doesn’t make you laugh so hard your cheeks hurt, get off my site right now. You have no business here.

The Onion: Joad Cressbeckler Is Back To Claim Rightful Title As Most Ornery Pundit Alive


Joad Cressbeckler Is Back To Claim Rightful Title As Most Ornery Pundit Alive

This made my face hurt as I tried not to bust into laughter in the office. I’ve loved The Onion’s videos ever since the first one I saw, the Ninja Parade one. God, I love me some good 1900s humor. His predications list? “Ain’t Heard The Last Of That Tesla Fellow”? “Spanish Fitting to Rise Up”? So fucking great.

Pretty for a Chinese.

Click on through to The Onion’s site to see the video in its native 16:9 format.