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7 search results for “Behemoth”

Behemoth’s “Lucifer”

October 4, 2011 |

Music and Music Videos

Call me crazy, but I am going to go out on a limb here and venture that the visual motifs in this video were inspired by Nergal’s recent battle with leukemia. I know, I know, I might be reaching here, but I think I’m onto something.

The models doing their high-fashion Hellraiser thing are pretty funny too. Pink eye shadow is the most EVIL of all eye shadow! Well, here at The Black Laser it certainly is.

Evil unicorn! With red eyes!

The devil in a red smoking jacket speaking Polish!

Crispy corpse paint!

Drinking blood (messily) from a chalice!

Chewing on a rosary!

Ash falling from the darkened sky!

Hammering stuff!

Reversed footage of sparks!

Floating little girl!

A priest with tears of blood!

Really though, I think the most evil thing in this video is the crown-bearing chick’s unfortunate breast implants. Oy vey, those things are horrendous.

All in all, some fun, silly, horror-movie evilness from Poland’s death metal masters. It’s about as frightening as your average Halloween haunted house at the end of the cul-de-sac, but it’s still pretty awesome.

> Continue reading...Behemoth’s “Lucifer”

Death Metal Sunday – Hate Eternal, Origin, Vital Remains, and Abysmal Dawn

July 11, 2011 |

About Music and Music

Last night, I went to see Hate Eternal with Origin, Vital Remains, and Abysmal Dawn at Santos Party House here in New York City. What, you don’t know all those bands? Where have you been?

It was a lovely Sunday evening and the metalheads were out in force. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a proper death metal show before, but they are an event in a league of their own. I go to shows and usually end up getting super pissed off at the crowd of idiot drunkards who don’t have any real sense of how to behave at a show. You get dudes just pushing their way through a crowd or chicks getting all pissed when you are unavoidably shoved up against them. Really, you just get the whole gamut of asshole behavior. I’ve always felt that the broader a band’s appeal, the more poorly behaved the crowd tends to be. For example, when I went to see Chromeo earlier this year at Terminal 5, the crowd behaved so reprehensibly that it ruined my entire night. Some shithead even threw an entire drink onto my head from the balcony. Way to enjoy the show, asshole.

As such, you’d expect nothing but the most horrible behavior imaginable at a death metal show, but you’d be absolutely wrong. Because it’s such a niche genre, people go to the shows because they love it not to get fucked up or hit on girls or just be fucking worthless pricks. The sense of camaraderie at a show like that is palpable. You’re never fucked with, never bothered. People are unerringly polite, no one shoves you to get past. Metalheads know a little trick (which I learned at metal shows) I like to call “the small of the back touch”. It works all the time every time and no one gets pissed off at it. It’s show magic.

Great crowd of folks there last night who were psyched as hell to enjoy the punishing death metal onslaught the night held in wait. No doubt they were all pleased with what they received. Let’s talk about the bands!

Abysmal Dawn

Robbie and I arrived at the venue just as Abysmal Dawn were starting their set so I didn’t really get to hear more than a few songs from these guys. I don’t know the band’s music that well, but what I heard I liked. Just a bunch of no-nonsense death metal by a bunch of dudes from LA. I am interested to pick up their latest release and give it a listen. I’ll revisit this topic another time.

Vital Remains

Vital Remains was my first surprise of the night. They were another band I knew nothing about, but after watching their set I wondered why I hadn’t been a fan of theirs until that moment. With their dogged adherence to old school death metal stylings, how could I not be a fan? I would definitely go see those guys play again.

Origin

Origin is a technical death metal band about whom I’ve always had mixed feelings. As much as I like the insane layers of complexity they build into their music, I’ve always felt that the records were too sterile, too clean. It’s like they’d gotten so technical, that all the groove had been taken out of the music. I’ve commented before here that owning one Origin record is basically the same as owning all of them.

After seeing them perform live I am inclined to revisit my opinion of their recorded material. On stage they were dynamic, brutal, and utterly crushing in a way I did not expect from them. The lead singer really knew how to work the crowded into a hair swinging frenzy that was frankly quite amazing coming from a band I expected nothing of. Well, call me stupid, but Origin kicked fucking ass live. If, like me, you’ve taken a pass on Origin because they’ve seemed to sterile, give them a chance live. The show will change your mind. I might even say they put on the best performance of the whole night. I like Hate Eternal more, but you cannot deny that Origin brought their A-Game last night.

Hate Eternal

Holy fucking shit.

Hate Eternal is the only reason I went to the show in the first place. I didn’t know anything about Abysmal Dawn or Vital Remains and I was not excited to see Origin. Luckily, I was wrong about all that stuff, but the point stands that Hate Eternal was my entire reason for being there. I am convinced that they are the single best death metal band on the scene today. Erik Rutan is constantly pushing the limits of what can be accomplished in a well-worn music arena. Their most recent record, Phoenix Amongst The Ashes, is brilliant, as brilliant as any death metal record I’ve ever heard. I am a fan.

To finally see Hate Eternal perform for my first time was mind-blowing. You will never see such unbridled joy on my face as you will during a really great metal show and Hate Eternal had me beaming. When they played “Bringer of Storms,” I nearly exploded. I couldn’t bang my head hard enough.

Honestly I have nothing terribly smart to say about Hate Eternal. They fucking rule and you should go see them and listen to their records and be a fan and stop being such a god damned pussy about it. Seriously. Hate Eternal is awesome.

And one final note, I saw this shirt last night. Best shirt ever.

> Continue reading...Death Metal Sunday – Hate Eternal, Origin, Vital Remains, and Abysmal Dawn

Have you seen my sister’s sickeningly adorable blog?

February 9, 2011 |

Thoughts

This is my sister Christina.

She works for eBay and has a blog (linked on the right) called Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. It is named that because her nickname is Kissie. Get it?

In stark and violent contrast to The Black Laser, Christina’s blog’s content is comprised mostly of random love letters, cute things, and country music videos, whereas The Black Laser is all metal, weirdness, and dirty electro beats. Here are a few headlines that I think really encapsulate what her blog is about.

Ok, so that last one isn’t really one of her posts, but you get the idea.

Even her “About Me page is adorable. I quote:

Hi!

Feb. 3, 2010

Spread love.

Jan. 6, 2010

I felt the urge to express my love for great wine, amazing beer and delicious food that goes along with it. I have a pretty good sense of the kinds of wine and beer I like, although I’m always learning. I am currently working on my taste for whiskey. Hopefully I will soon be knowledgeable on the subject because it is just so delicious.

Nov. 29, 2010

Continuing this life journey on my blog. It’s funny to see how after 315 posts and a year + a couple months my life has changed. Here is to new adventures and new stories.

March 2, 2010

A little more about me:

I have a passion for numbers and the way the mind works, but I’m not just limited to that. I have a passion for technology and innovation. I’m an early adopter. I love new gizmos and gadgets. I am quick to learn. I like to fiddle around with and read about programs until I understand and can use them.

I like to keep busy and do productive things with my time. I hope that I can make the next generation just a little bit tougher by coaching them [and making them run the floor]. I love competition. I want to be a mentor.

For me success is creating a life that will be comfortable for me and my [far] future family while being vehement for what I do and the people around me.

September 18, 2009

As I enter into this blogosphere, I realize there are hundreds of thousands, if not millions of blogs out there. I’d be lucky to have more than one reader – Isa. So please enjoy!

I’m a recent graduate from the University of Oregon living back in the San Francisco area, getting my life on track! Killing time by writing things down…

There is a mixture of humor and seriousness in my blog. I hope you find the funny postings funny and the not so funny ones interesting or intriguing. Thanks for reading!

Right? Who knew that yours truly and she could come from the same gene pool?

When you’re feeling tired of the unrelenting weirdness pouring forth from The Black Laser, take a little vacation on over to Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang and let your heart be warmed. The Space Pope knows we all get a little tired of The Black Laser now and then, so don’t let yourself feel bad with letting Christina help you take off the edge.

> Continue reading...Have you seen my sister’s sickeningly adorable blog?

Even The New Yorker has hit on the fire.

February 24, 2010 |

Thoughts

Sometimes the internet is a marvelous thing. What we were discovering just weeks ago has since completely blown up and spread virally. I’m, of course, talking about Die Antwoord, South Africa’s finest art. And even the stodgiest of the old guard, The New Yorker, has hit on their magnificence. Check it.

If authenticity is a vampire threatening to suck the fun out of pop music, the South African band Die Antwoord (“The Answer,” in Afrikaans) is a fistful of garlic. Go to the band’s well-designed Web site and you will find a goofy, vibrant ball of confusion. Die Antwoord was founded by a South African music-biz veteran named Waddy Jones (Ninja, here) who celebrates zef, which translates roughly as “common” or “redneck,” but which Jones claims is a synonym for “the ultimate style.” This dicey language game will be refereed by South Africans; everyone else can unravel the band’s musical preference for the nineties. (Vanilla Ice and Technotronic come to mind.) The band is better at generating questions than answers. What’s with the post-Keith Haring illustrations? Why does the band member Yo-landi Vi$$er look like both a model and a normal teen-ager? Is Die Antwoord a celebration or a sendup? Get ready for a fight about the legitimacy of the group and, hopefully, for an influx of more South African pop culture.

What’s next? The Wall Street journal reviewing The Behemoth’s next record? A four page article on Detroit Ghettotech in the Conservative Chronicle? An editorial in The Economist on the best places in Brooklyn to drink on a Saturday afternoon? Will the wonders never cease?!

Check the original here.

Thanks for the heads-up, Sarah!

> Continue reading...Even The New Yorker has hit on the fire.

New Old School Death Metal (NOSDM)

January 20, 2010 |

About Music and Music

Today I learned about a genre of metal called “New Old School Death Metal” or NOSDM. While I think the resurgence of old school style Death Metal is awesome, I’m a little surprised by it. Had it really gone anywhere? I was always of the opinion that since its inception, there have been dudes playing Death Metal the same way. Sure, the bands change and the members of the bands change, but hasn’t there always been a core of old school Death going on somewhere?

Did I miss out on something? Was I too busy listening to Old Old School Death Metal (OOSDM) records to notice?

Did Death Metal change so much that we’re experiencing a revival of the classic form much in the same manner as thrash suddenly became huge again about three years ago? Do we refer to Municipal Waste and Toxic Holocaust as “New Old School Thrash Metal” or NOSTM? Are all these labels really necessary? If we didn’t call these new DM bands NOSDM, but just plain called them Death Metal, would it be so hard to understand? Would it be wrong?

Let’s posit that Death Metal in its traditional form peaked about 1994, to be superseded by the Swedish style that dominated the later 90s and early 00s. (No, nü-metal doesn’t fucking count.) The earliest known uses of the term “Death Metal” were found somewhere around 1984, giving Death Metal a 10 year run. Now, if a style falls out of favor but does not disappear completely, can we really call its resurgence by a new name? Composers wrote Baroque music for 160 years. It’s not like when Baroque first showed up, went through a wave of initial popularity, decreased slightly in public opinion, and then showed up again they called it New Old School Baroque Music (NOSBM), did they?

The whole thing, and really the extreme fragmentation of metal subgenres in general, seems pretty silly to me.

And, because I am such a caring person, I won’t let you go without some examples.

Let’s do a chronological survey of some of my favorite Death Metal, shall we?

1987’s “Beyond the Unholy Grave” – Death
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/11-Beyond-The-Unholy-Grave.mp3|Artists=Death|titles=Beyond The Unholy Grave]

1987’s “Bleed for the Devil” – Morbid Angel
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/1-07 Bleed For The Devil.mp3|artists=Morbid Angel|titles=Bleed for the Devil]

1989’s “Sacrificial Suicide” – Deicide
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/02-Sacrificial-Suicide.mp3|artists=Deicide|titles=Sacrificial Suicide]

1990’s “Burden of Evil” – Monstrosity
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Burden Of Evil.mp3|artists=Monstrosity|titles=Burden of Evil]

1991’s “Jesus Wept” – Suffocation
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/09 Jesus Wept.mp3|artists=Suffocation|titles=Jesus Wept]

1992’s “Hammer Smashed Face” – Cannibal Corpse
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Hammer Smashed Face.mp3|artists=Cannibal Corpse|titles=Hammer Smashed Face]

1993’s “Preacher of Sodomy” – Broken Hope
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Preacher of Sodomy.mp3|artists=Broken Hope|titles=Preacher of Sodomy]

1994’s “Born Headless” – Cryptopsy
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Born Headless.mp3|artists=Cryptopsy|titles=Born Headless]

1995’s “Nothing But Fear” – Morbid Angel
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Nothing But Fear.mp3|artists=Morbid Angel|titles=Nothing But Fear]

1996’s “Permanently Disfigured” – Dying Fetus
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Permanently Disfigured.mp3|artists=Dying Fetus|titles=Permanently Disfigured]

1997’s “Save To The Cross” – Deicide
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Slave To The Cross.mp3|artists=Deicide|titles=Slave To The Cross]

1998’s “Flame To The Surface” – Cryptopsy
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Flame To The Surface.mp3|artists=Cryptopsy|titles=Flame To The Surface]

1999’s “Blowtorch Slaughter” – Cannibal Corpse
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Blowtorch Slaughter.mp3|artists=Cannibal Corpse|titles=Blowtorch Slaughter]

2000’s “Christians To The Lions” – Behemoth
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Christians To The Lions.mp3|artists=Behemoth|titles=Christians To The Lions]

2001’s “Blind The Vision That Shatters” – Neuraxis
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Blind The Vision That Shatters.mp3|artists=Neuraxis|titles=Blind The Vision That Shatters]

2002’s “Dead Sea Scroll Deception” – Lock Up
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Dead Sea Scroll Deception.mp3|artists=Lock Up|titles=Dead Sea Scroll Deception]

2003’s “History Is Rotten” – Misery Index
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/History Is Rotten.mp3|artists=Misery Index|titles=History Is Rotten]

2004’s “Sensual Sickness” – Decapitated
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Sensual Sickness.mp3|artists=Decapitated|titles=Sensual Sickness]

2005’s “The Victorious Reign” – Hate Eternal
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/The Victorious Reign.mp3|artists=Hate Eternal|titles=The Victorious Reign]

2006’s “The Crawl Inside Me Uninvited” – Coldworker
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/They Crawl Inside Me Uninvited.mp3|artists=Coldworker|titles=They Crawl Inside Me Uninvited]

2007’s “Rebirth In Blood” – Blood Red Throne
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Rebirth In Blood.mp3|artists=Blood Red Throne|titles=Rebirth In Blood]

2008’s “Slaughtering The Will To Live” – Bloodbath
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Slaughtering The Will To Live.mp3|artists=Bloodbath|titles=Slaughtering The Will To Live]

2009’s “Carrion Sculpted Entity” – Cannibal Corpse
[audio:https://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Carrion Sculpted Entity.mp3|artists=Cannibal Corpse|titles=Carrion Sculpted Entity]

Sorry, for some reason I don’t have any Death Metal from 1988 on my iPod right now. I’ll fix that oversight when I get home tonight.

Now, listen to the bands on an article by Decibel Magazine about NOSDM. It seems to me that besides some basic evolution in the quality of the productions, that Death Metal has been alive an well since at least 1987. So, do we need this new label at all? Can we not just keep calling it Death Metal? Do we need OOSDM, MEOSDM (Mid-Era Old School Death Metal), and NOSDM? What happens when NOSDM becomes Old New Old School Death Metal (ONOSDM)?

For the initiated and uninitiated out there who take the time to read and listen to this, what do you think? Comment away.

> Continue reading...New Old School Death Metal (NOSDM)

The Metal Claw, and why I love it.

December 4, 2008 |

Music, Music Videos and Thoughts

I have no doubt that many of you are familiar with the Metal Horns, the typical hand sign associated with heavy metal appreciation. I have no problem with the horns on principle. They serve to show how fucking into the music you are. When the metal gets so fucking intense that you just can’t take it anymore, the extended index and pinky fingers are excellent heatsinks for all the metal intensity built up in your frail, human form. God knows that I threw the horns more times than you could believe when I was a teenager. I love the horns. The horns are awesome.

Here are a couple of examples of the horns being used appropriately.

Ronnie James Dio - Popularly considered the inventor of the horns
Ronnie James Dio - Popularly considered the inventor of the horns
Nergal of Behemoth throwing the horns
Nergal of Behemoth throwing the horns

Nevertheless, the horns are subject to rampant abuse. Watch the MTV music awards sometime and notice how many kids in the front throw the horns for all sorts of random bullshit, none of which falls under the “metal” header. You’ll see pop stars and country music stars and assholes on American Idol throwing the horns. What the fuck? Don’t you fucking dipshits get it? The horns are not for you and your bullshit music; the horns are an expression of metal. Yet sometimes the horns aren’t sufficient. And the horns are expected, practiced. The horns, for as great as they are, leave something to be desired these days.

For this reason, I am a supporter of the Metal Claw. When the horns just can’t do it, then you must make the claw. Where the horns send metal from only two fingers, the claw sends metal from all five. That’s 150% MORE METAL.

Typically associated with Satan, though not actually so, the horns can be divisive. The claw on the other hand promotes unity across all metal genres. Here is an example of my favorite Christian as Fuck death metal band of the moment making HEAVY use of the claw. I mean, seriously, check out his Jesus t-shirt.

In contrast, we have Nergal of Behemoth, a profound believer in Darkness, making the Claw while recording.

THE CLAW!!!!!
THE CLAW!!!!!

See the difference here? In the first photo he is on stage, performing, throwing the horns to a photographer. In the second he is focusing on the task at hand in the studio, feeling the slaughter erupt in his veins. Thus the Claw is made.

You might say, “But Joe, this claw you speak of is a new phenomenon. Was not the almighty Dio throwing the horns in the early 80s?” This is a good point, but I have evidence to the contrary. Here is 1995’s “Slaughter of the Soul” by At The Gates.

Too new for you? How about some proto-Claw throwing by Bruce Dickinson? Check it at about 1:30 into the video.

And so, it is with this incredibly persuasive argument in mind that I am pleased to unveil The Official The Black Laser Seal of Approval. Check it out:

How sweet is that shit? My Photoshop skills are legendary.

In conclusion, let us agree that while the horns have their rightful place in the Metal culture, the Claw is a true and brutal expression of what metal is and should be to the true aficionado. If I ever see the Claw thrown on American Idol—I don’t watch the show, so I guess I never will, however—then we’ll have to reevaluate its stance in my heart. But really, I think it’s as likely as hearing blast beats and harmonized growls in pop music, so I feel secure in the Metal Claw’s status as niche expression of intense metal power.

> Continue reading...The Metal Claw, and why I love it.

Philip Plays Hookey

November 11, 2008 |

Fiction and Writing

The caffeine was coursing through Philip’s blood and making his heart dance in a way that made him regret having three cups of coffee and not eating anything before leaving the house.  The walk between his apartment and the 72nd and 2nd Avenue subway stop was not long, but it felt like hell in the mornings and especially so this fine day.  He had come to notice three distinct zones between his apartment and the entrance to the subway over his repeated morning treks.  The first and easily most pleasant part of his entire day was the fresh bread block.  That was the block that always smelled like fresh bread in the mornings and smelled like nothing at night, so, aptly, he named it the fresh bread block.  That is where the pleasantness stopped.  The second section was the block that passed the park which he referred to internally as Dog Shit Hell.  It wasn’t just that the block smelled like myriad piles of dog crap, but that the sheer density of dog crap that was smeared on the sidewalk left him in complete awe and disbelief that so many people refused to pack plastic bags when they took their dogs out to shit.  He ventured on more than one occasion while talking to girls and trying to look smart and funny that if someone measured the ratio of sidewalk covered in dog shit to sidewalk that you would very nearly approach one.  Sometimes he felt bad about his math jokes, but really he just could not help himself.  They never worked the way he wanted.  The third zone is the zone he referred to externally as fish guts alley.  This was, of course, a bit of a misnomer since it wasn’t technically an alley but a two block section along Second Avenue and they weren’t just fish guts but truly encompassed the guts of a large variety of creatures, fish, fowl and anything else that populated the sky, sea and land.  It did not make sense for there to be quite as much animal offal here as there was since the fish market was in the Bronx and the Upper East Side was certainly no booming culinary district sought by those who wanted to dine surrounded by the stench of their dinner’s remnants rotting around them.  It made no sort of sense that he could digest.  

> Continue reading...Philip Plays Hookey

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