You’ve all heard about it, but I assume most of you don’t know the mathematical rationale behind why, come 6pm this coming Saturday, the world will end. I bet you all really want to know too, and who am I to deny my wonderful audience information which may save their eternal souls in very short order? I am a benevolent and giving Space Pope and command that only some of you be sent to the fire (you know who you are). The rest of you should read up on the following information from Wikipedia on why you should be preparing yourself for the forthcoming Rapture on Saturday at 6pm (sorry, no adjustments for GMT).
Another argument that Camping uses in favor of the May 21st date is as follows:
- According to Camping, the number five equals “atonement”, the number ten equals “completeness”, and the number seventeen equals “heaven”.
- Christ is said to have hung on the cross on April 1, 33 AD. The time between April 1, 33 AD and April 1, 2011 is 1,978 years.
- If 1,978 is multiplied by 365.2422 days (the number of days in a solar year, not to be confused with the lunar year), the result is 722,449.
- The time between April 1 and May 21 is 51 days.
- 51 added to 722,449 is 722,500.
- (5 × 10 × 17)2 or (atonement × completeness × heaven)2 also equals 722,500.
Thus, Camping concludes that 5 × 10 × 17 is telling us a “story from the time Christ made payment for our sins until we’re completely saved.”
Get all that? Flawless proof that this Saturday, just before supper, God’s Heaven will open up and usher in the end of the world. I wonder, though, if this is only for the Earth or also for the other alien civilizations out that we have yet to contact with the wondrous Good News. Seems a little unfair to just have the whole universe up and disappear without at least giving some of those other folks warning. But, then, who am I to question the mighty, infallible revelations of the One True Christian God?
Get your rocks of kiddies! Indulge and sin and lay with members of your same gender! Get divorced and kill someone and eat pork! Because the world’s ending on Saturday and we only have a little time left! Just make sure you devote (the remainder of) your life to Christ somewhere around 5/5:30 pm on Saturday. Wouldn’t want to get stuck in the eternal Fire, would we?