If you haven’t heard, New Yorkers were supposed to get blasted with yet another massive snow storm that was going to lock down the world and destroy families and kill all children under 6 and freeze reservoirs and slaughter puppies and coat everything we know and love in a mile high sheet of ice. Except we didn’t. All we got was a couple of days of my most hated euphemism, the dread “wintry mix” which is a pleasant way of saying “freezing fucking rain and slush and huge murky poisonous puddles and ice and slipping and broken wrists.”

Where New Yorkers didn’t get completely ass fucked by mother nature, the central part of the US did. Fucked big time. There’s a cloud (seen in the photo above) covering ONE THIRD of the United States. Holy shit balls. That’s a wicked huge cloud, as they would say in the parlance of New England which is, incidentally, not covered by the cloud.

Another part of the image above that I like so much is how the state lines are clearly visible from space, as if tattooed on the landscape by some inescapable alien (or divine, perhaps Freddie Mercury) force. Who knew you could see state lines from space?! Astronauts probably, but not me. Fucking astronauts and their dehydrated food.

Get more info on the storm (you know, with like actual science) here: HuffPo: U.S. Snowstorm Seen From Space: Wild Weather Captured By NASA (PHOTOS)

Also:

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“WE DON’T NEED NO MOON CHEESE BABIES!!!!”

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