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Day: August 8, 2011

This lady is REAL excited by this whale’s penis.

If you’ve never seen a woman forcefully slap a sperm whale’s penis while standing ankle-deep in its gore…well, you have now. Is she too excited? Or the right amount of excited? You decide.

Apologies if you need to log in to Youtube to view the video. They’ve age restricted it because of the gaping hole in the side of the whale, I suppose. I certainly hope that’s the reason and it’s not because some spoil-sports over at Youtube find a whale’s member to be lascivious and potentially offensive. Off-putting, perhaps, but offensive no way.

Stevie B’s “Spring Love”

Oh yes. Everything about this is so tragically boring that I can’t help but love it a little bit. The racing stripes in his hair. The unbelievably shitty video production. The terrible song. His beach short shorts. Everything. All of it. Everything forever and ever and ever.

Terrible. Magnificent. I don’t even really know how to feel. I am not sure if I appreciate this for its sublime tackiness or for its dreadful earnestness. I am not even sure that I don’t completely hate it. What are all these feelings inside of me for Stevie B?! Do I empathize with his plight in this song or do I find him to be a simpering melodramatic buffoon? Oh, Stevie B, what horrible terrors you have wrought upon my fragile brain! I pray for clarity!

He reminds me a little of this guy except that I know how I feel about Farley. Spoiler alert: I love him.