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Day: May 30, 2011

The Gates of Slumber’s “Ice Worm”

Remember Black Tusk?? You don’t really need to remember—they were posted below this. Well, in there I mentioned ugly metal dudes and associated comfort. Well, The Gates of Slumber is a band that, for me, epitomizes that class of dude and I love them.

Not only that, but they sing about barbarians and axes and shit totally genuinely. How fucking awesome is that? This isn’t some ironic, tongue-in-cheek, inside joke bullshit. No, this is the real deal and this song’s got some real humdingers.

Want to read the lyrics to this song? They’re epic.

Ancient terror, of the snows.
Wyrm of ice, where the north wind blows.
Hollow song, and alien form.
Frozen death, its primeval storm.

Waves of cold. Chill your veins.
Haunting eyes drive you insane.

Bone yard atop the world.
Oublet of ice, song as its lure.
Palace of skulls who came before.
Ice worm, song is its lure.

Simple fool, you come when I call.
Roused my anger. Invade my sacred hall.
Fiery wheel, splits the cold.
Cimmerian howl, makes him bold.

White hot axe splits the air.
Yakhamar dies, in the ice worm’s lair.
Palace of skulls who came before.
Ice worm, song is its lure.

Oh. My. God. I love this so much. Metal at its purest.

Black Tusk’s “Red Eyes, Black Skies”

After that spat of glossy electro videos, let me reacquaint you with some good old fashioned ugly metal dudes playing no fucking nonsense heavy metal music. These guys have never even heard of auto-tune, not that they’d have much use for it. There’s comfort in this, I think.

Foxxjazell’s “Hook Up” feat. Ashley Breathe

This might be one of the worst videos I’ve ever seen. Ever. And I watch a lot of music videos.

In no particular order, here’s an unordered list <ul> of what I dislike about this “work”.

  • Imitating Gaga. Extremely poorly.
  • Not keeping time with the dancers. I get it: you were shot separately from the dancers. That is no excuse.
  • Shitty Tron-inspired background.
  • The song. Oh my goodness, the song.
  • Lip sync. Or, specifically, the lack thereof.
  • The fiery dollar bill background chain sequence. WHY?!
  • Holding, but not playing, a guitar though there’s no guitar anywhere in the (horrible) track.
  • Putting the comic filter or whatever on the one section at about 2:38. Unmotivated, poorly executed, and just tasteless.
  • The low resolution background art of the same section that doesn’t actually fill the whole screen. You can see the edges at about 2:50.
  • The horrible pop&lock in the opening.
  • THE SONG.

All in all, this video is a big, hot mess and should be purged from the collective consciousness. It doesn’t compare at all to some other horrible work, like Reh Dogg’s “Why Must I Cry,” since they clearly put a lot of effort and a bit of know-how into the production of this abomination. It’s a display of piss-poor taste all around. Terrible.

DJ Dan’s “Operator”

This video is neat. And the song is neat, but I’m really posting it because it reminds me (and was clearly influenced by) one of my favorite old school electro tracks “It’s Automatic” by Freestyle. For reference, below is the superior inspiration.

Damn, if that Freestyle track doesn’t make you want to dance, you’re not enjoying your life enough. Go kiss a girl, run around, play frisbee, whatever, and get back to me when you want to shake your shit to that jam.