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Day: May 25, 2011

90s Telephone Manners for Kids

Here’s a quick list of things I learned from this video.

  • Nothing.

But that doesn’t mean you might not learn something!! Well, no, actually, it probably means exactly that. Hmm. Yeah, this thing is legitimately terrible.

Man, that 90s hip hop drum beat it so fucking dated and, frankly, offensive. Every time I hear it, I also hear some dude’s voice saying, “Fellows! Have you heard this urban music the kids are making in the cities?! Let’s tone it down and rip it off for EVERYTHING and it will be hip and neat!” It makes me wonder how the whomp whomp of dubstep is going to sound in 20 years. Oh, no. It doesn’t. It’s going to sound exactly like this.

You know, I think it sounds like I talk a lot of shit about dubstep here, which is weird because I actually like the stuff, but its oversaturation has become evident. Britney’s brostep passage in “Till The World Ends” is a perfect example of what I mean. It’s disappointing but obvious. The people who make that stuff are people in the know and want to incorporate what they like. It happens. I’ve said it before and it’s still true: pop music of now is the watered down, digestible version of good electronic music 10 years ago. Ever since Afrika Bambataa sampled Kraftwerk’s “Trans Europa Express” and “Numern” for his “Don’t Stop Planet Rock” effectively creating all of modern hip hop music, we’ve seen the same thing. Early 90s house and trance became late 90s/early 00s boy-band backing tracks. I even hear EBM/Industrial influences in Lady Gaga’s newest record. There’s no getting away from it.

Wait, what was I talking about at the beginning of this post?

Red Fang’s “Wires”

Though this video came out last week (two weeks ago??) and I saw it then—and enjoyed it immensely—there wasn’t an embeddable version to share with my legions of fans here on The Black Laser. But guess what!? There is now!

Red Fang are a Portland, OR band whose video for “Prehistoric Dog” and current record I posted for you people a while back. Unfortunately, the record is no longer streaming on NPR, but you can listen to it in its entirety on their bandcamp. Yay!

I also instructed you in the previous post to pick up a copy of Murder The Mountains because it is a solid slab of head-banging metal genius covered in a glistening sheen of cheap beer, hangovers, and sweat. If you’re having trouble imagining them and don’t want to just listen, imagine how The Sword would sound if they were less nerdy and had 50% bigger balls. Sounds awesome, right?

I don’t want to spoil the pure madness of the video above by giving you some limp-dick description, so I’ll just let you watch it for yourself. Needless to say, it’s one of the most entertaining videos I’ve seen in ages. Enjoy and buy their album in whichever format you prefer. I got it on vinyl.