All right, everyone. Put down those guitars and keyboards. Stop singing. And, really, you might as well forget about how to read and write music. Because, presented above, is the best song ever written by anyone ever about anything. And it’s about pizza. Do you really think, in all your insane megalomania, that you could possibly produce finer music than this? It surpasses what I previously considered the best song in the universe, which also happens to be about pizza.

This is the (now) second best song ever written.

What would your ears do without me?