Are you raping a panda?!?!
Month: November 2010 (page 2 of 4)
Apparently all the Police ladies are mad at the Police Chromeos for something. We’re not sure what. That is, until they get into the steam room and sauna. Then everything is totally cool because, you know, sweat fucking hell of chills you out, right? Word. Also, we learned here that Hot Mess County is in DUMBO. That’s pretty awesome and stuff.
“Hot Mess” comes from Chromeo’s 2010 release Business Casual.
I’ve noted before how much I hate this song, but if anything was going to make it palatable it’s that purple drank. Enjoy.
Last Friday my friend Shelby, who works for the Metropolitan Opera doing events, invited me (on my insistence) to take a tour of the opera house. It was so ridiculously awesome that I recommend every New Yorker have a friend like Shelby and make her take you on a tour during the middle of a work day. Here is a list, in no particular order, of the things I enjoyed while there.
- Entering through the employees’ entrance
- Seeing the auditorium empty except for the stagehands setting up for that night’s performance of Carmen
- Going on stage (I didn’t sing)
- Seeing the costume shop, set shop, and properties area
- Discovering that every dressing room for a principal actor has its own piano for warm ups
- The faces of every person who saw us and was all, “Who the fuck are these kids?”
- Shelby saying “fudge” instead of “fuck”
- The smell of the place, like old people
- Going into the chorus rehearsal room
- And, really, so much more
But of all the things I saw, one really stood out for me. It was this.
A 30 FOOT TALL BLOODY JESUS HEAD.
Are you kidding me?! How amazing is this thing? It’s huge! So huge, in fact, that I made Shelby get into the photo so we had a sense of its scale. I want this in my house so bad it hurts.
My only regret of the day is that I didn’t bring my camera with me. I thought it presumptuous so I left it at home and I told her as much. She said that it would have been all right though, and I immediately felt a pang of regret. Oh well. I’ll just have to find a reason to go back camera in hand.
Holy shit, if this doesn’t make you laugh, something is wrong with you.
Yesterday marked the two-year anniversary of The Black Laser. Isn’t that exciting?! Let’s all have some cake!
What does the bright and shining future hold for The Black Laser?! WHO FUCKING KNOWS?!? What, I can see into the future? Jesus Christ, guys. I may be the Space Pope, but I’m not psychic. Well, I AM psychic, but I’m not a friggin’ fortuneteller. You want one of those, you go to a fucking carnival.
In all seriousness, the site’s long overdue for a redesign. What I’ve got now is SOOOO 2008 that it just screams for the tender loving help it needs. I’ve got some ideas for it. We shall see.
Otherwise, there will be no great changes to the format or content of The Black Laser. Why would it change? So, keep reading, and I’ll keep posting all sorts of crazy crap.
I also want to say happy birthday to my darling niece Sienna as she shares a birthday with The Black Laser. I don’t get a lot of two year olds on this site, so one of you with a direct line will have to convey my birthday wishes.
Well, November 8th came and went and not a sighting of aliens anywhere. Luckily for Colleen here, she’s got an explanation over a well-timed phone call.
Enjoy the madness.