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Day: May 26, 2010

A-Trak’s Dirty South Dance 2

<a href="">Intro by A-Trak</a>

This is what I am listening to right this moment and I think that, as a reader of The Black Laser, you should trust my opinion and listen to it too. Do try and listen to it on a decent set of speakers or you’re going to miss all the fat ass low end in these dirty, DIRTY jams.

I think that A-trak is my favorite DJ right now. Between him and Diplo, and their propensity to drop free music on you every few weeks, I’m up to my ears in filthy beats and I love it so much.

If you want your own copy, head on over to A-trak’s Bandcamp page and download the hell out of it.

Carte Blanche’s “Gare Du Nord”

This is the first video from Carte Blanche, a collaboration between two Ed Banger artists, DJ Mehdi and Riton. There’s something strangely meditative about the dirty ass jams being dropped and the assembly of old dance party show footage. I kind of love this a little too much. It’s getting me super psyched to party.

A Letter Regarding the Atmosphere of an Altogether Too Sticky and Hot Nature In My Apartment.

Dear mugginess,

You can suck my dick. I mean that. No, that’s wrong because it sounds like I want you to suck my dick. I don’t. Let’s start over, shall we?

Mugginess, you can suck on the boil-covered, blood-stained cock of a slaughtered horse. Better?

There’s nothing I like less than waking up multiple times a night sticky and sweating. It completely fucks up my sleep and then I get real dumb and real pissed. Regular old heat is fine, but this heavy air, moisture everywhere crap drives me god damned bonkers. Bonkers!

Last night I won out, though, mugginess. I have been avoiding turning on the air conditioner because it’s still May and I’ve never been fond of heavy electrical bills. But you know what’s more important than the difference between a 35 dollar and 60 dollar electrical bill? Being able to sleep. Cost/Benefit. ConEd can have the stupid 25 dollars if it means I am telling you to sit on one and spin. I managed my first good night of sleep in nearly a week since Nature decided it was time to crank the thermostat. Oh how I long for the days of Winter and easy sleeping!

So, you vile son of a bitch, I will endure the next months of your torture. You will not win. And then when Autumn rolls around again and I can safely say that you are behind me, I will laugh and dance and sing and you will be history. History! No more will I sweat as soon as I get out of the shower! No more will I have to wash my face when I arrive at the office! No more will my breathing be labored and heavy as you irritate my asthma!

And though I long for days spent relaxing in the park, enjoying the sunshine and its myriad benefits, all this heinous humidity can go straight to hell. Or the South. Whichever. Just stay the hell away from me.

Sincerely and with tremendous enmity,

The Black Laser.