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Posts published in March 2010

A letter to Thursday Concerning My Current Feelings on the Day and What Might Lie In Store for Me Later This Evening.

Dear Thursday,

Hey. How’s it hanging? It’s been a while since I saw you last. What was it, a week? You look well. How’s your mom? Great? Great. That makes me happy to hear.

Anyhoo, I’m really writing to tell you that I pretty much can’t deal with you at all today. Usually you and I get along pretty well, but I feel like Friday is lagging extra hard this week and I wish he’d just show up and we could fast forward to about 6pm.

It’s not you, Thursday. It’s me. It’s always me. I wouldn’t want you to think that I have something against you, it’s just that I’m pretty tired and totally worn out and I’m ready to go home and lay on the floor and watch a movie in the dark. Doesn’t that sound nice? Except, it’s not going to happen because I’m going to Sue’s party at Smoke & Mirrors later. But you knew that, didn’t you, Thursday? You always know. You’re so well informed. I’m always impressed that you can keep my work and social schedule in order the way you do. I often have trouble and they’re my schedules.

That’s all for now. I’m going to order some soup for lunch which I’m pretty excited about. Three lentil chili. Yummers. Should I get a half sandwich too? Yesterday it was a little too much food, but I’m pretty hungry today. I’m sure Wednesday will tell you I was pretty hungry then too. Maybe I’ll skip the half sandwich today. Or maybe I’ll order it and save it for later? That’s a pretty good idea. Thanks, Thursday.

See you next week.

Sincerely,

The Black Laser.

A Letter to Hunter College on the Recent Decision They Made Regarding My Suitability for their Program.

Dear Hunter,

Boo.

I am disappointed. This is not a very fun way to start my Monday. I thought I wrote a pretty fucking good piece for you guys. Much better than last year’s certainly. Was it the F for the English class on my NYU transcript? Was it all the cursing in my piece? Was it that I’m just so super stylish and great that you thought I would overwhelm the rest of the students? Probably not. Whatever arcane magic went into your decision making process, I am not mad. Disappointed? Yes. Saddened? A little. Curious? Totally. I also understand that you only take six students a year and that the selection process is a difficult one. I guess I lost this little wager.

Luckily, I have a career I like and things to look forward to. And, shit, I can and will keep writing.

All in all, Hunter College, I understand. Personally, I think you made the wrong choice, but what are you going to do? We’ll see how I feel about applying a third time in the coming autumn.

Sincerely,

Joe Dillingham
The Black Laser