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Posts published in “Day: March 15, 2010

The Joys and Pains of finding a new apartment.

This weekend I started the apartment hunt to try to find a place cheaper than my current place that is fresh and new and my own. Typically looking for an apartment is a grueling, miserable experience. You spend a hundred years on Craig’s List (have you heard of this thing?) and you call and make appointments and run all over town to see a bunch of fucking duds. It’s a drag. I have to move out of my current apartment on April 9th, which is kind of nice because it gives me a little bit of a buffer to accomplish everything I need to, painting, patching holes, whatever.

With the hell that is finding an apartment in mind, I’ve been procrastinating. Surprise! Knowing that time was finally running short, I sat down to Craig’s List (no, really, you’ve got to check this thing out) at about noon on Saturday. I did a little searching, got on the phone and started making appointments for that afternoon and Sunday.


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I had my first viewing at 1:45 on Saturday at an apartment right around the corner from where I currently live. One huge bonus right off the bat was that the place is right next door to Taco Bite, my favorite neighborhood taco joint. The best. Ask for the tortilla soup.

I meet the real estate agent, RJ, in front of the building and we go in. The stairs were nice and wide, and the hallways were spacious. He led me up five flights of stairs and into one of many doors on the fifth floor. Though nice with new appliances, exposed brick, and refinished whatever, the apartment was tiny. I mean, tiny. Like 350 sq ft. Maybe less. I was looking around and trying to use my advance, alien spatial reasoning to see how I’d fit everything into there. The only conclusion I could find was that I would have to either get rid of my desk (hell no) or get rid of the tv/sound system (also, hell no). I wasn’t sure if I could fit my bed either. It’s too bad too, because the apartment probably got really nice light and had some awesome views out the windows of the Williamsburg bridge and Manhattan on nice, clear days. But, for 1550 a month, it wasn’t worth it. Even if they knocked it down to 1450 a month, it wouldn’t be worth it. Sometimes you just have to trust your gut.

The next apartments I wanted to see were up in Greenpoint. I walked through the blinding rain a mile and a half through the neighborhood to the Realtor’s office. When I got there, my pants were pasted to my legs. God, I love flash NY spring time rain fall. It’s like, “Walk walk walk, drizzle drizzle drizzle, walk walk walk, POURING FUCKING RAIN FUCK YOU HOLY FUCK WIND AND RAIN AND OH MY FUCKING GOD.” After a mile and a half (2.4 km, for you folks outside the US) of that crap, I was pretty much over the day. But, like a good, diligent boy, I went in and saw the two apartments.


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The first place I saw was a railroad apartment that was filled with a Polish man’s belongings. I guess he was moving out but hadn’t yet. The apartment smelled like those cheap shit scented candles you get at 99ยข stores, which I think was accurate since he had about 30 of those things spread around the apartment in various degrees of burnt. It was a strange place. The apartment itself was fine. Totally regular railroad style apartment (what you southerners would call a shotgun shack), if a little small. I’m not sure that, even at 1250/month, it was worth it to be so far from the trains. Too far, too funky, too blah. I like the park right there though, but nah. Fuck it.


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The third apartment I saw that day was super awesome. It’s is also a railroad apartment, as is the style in this part of Brooklyn, but it was significantly larger than the previous one. It also has much better train access and a whole lot more fun stuff around it. The kitchen and the bedroom are both bright as hell which is amazing. Easily worth the 50 extra dollars. My only hesitation was that the building has a funky, tiny hallway with a mere 34″ of clearance and it’s going to be hard to move things in and, eventually, out. I was nervous enough about it that I told them I’d think about it.

I talked to Charles for a while and he basically told me I was being a big pussy about the whole thing. I called them back and went over to their office the next day with all my paper work in tow in case I decided to jump. I went back to the apartment and it still felt good, like the right place. I measured the hallway to discover the 34″ clearance and then measured the typically small door. I feel confident I can get my desk in, which is important, and I also feel confident that I can order a sofa with detachable legs and get that into the apartment. It’s going to be hard, but it can be done. I hope.

Either way, after about 4 whole hours, I was sick as hell of looking for an apartment so I applied for this one on Sunday. The only negative for me was the entrance way and I’ll just have to make it work. They called me today, Monday, and told me I was accepted. I just have to go up and get my keys and put the ConEd and whatever in my name. Done and done. And all without a guarantor! Lookie here, I’ma grown man now.

I’m going over there with Mike and Charles on Saturday to measure and then eat brunch somewhere, so expect photos. Fun!

Lady Gaga’s “Monster” Unofficial Video

This might be the second gayest thing I’ve ever posted on The Black Laser. It’s an unofficial video made for fabulis.com for Lady Gaga’s “Monster.” I’m sharing it with all of you because it features my fierce ass friend Adam. He’s the one with the scarf wrapped around his head.

He sent the link to me in a message on Facebook with the subject line “gay people aren’t supposed to dance…” which is based off some comments I left on Youtube for his last video. I left some friendly, tongue-on-cheek trolling comments for my friend and they were met with utterly up in arms defense by a bunch of people we don’t know. Hilarious.

Here’s the comments. Note, I’m AboutTimeTravel.

Pretty freaking hilarious, if you ask me.