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Undefeatable is in the house

undefeatble-coverAnd it’s much, much worse than even the clip from before would seem to indicate. Alternatively going by the title “Cui hua kuang mo,” “Undefeatable” stars Cynthia Rothrock as Kristi Jones and Don Niam as “Stingray,” who, clearly, has no need of a surname. The oneline for the plot says it all, “Kristi Jones (Cynthia Rothrock) avenges her sister’s death at the hands of a crazed martial arts rapist.” Oh wow. If you had not wanted to see the movie before, how could you possibly resist now?

Not yet convinced? How about some reviews from IMDB?

Possibly the best creation in human history.

When I first saw this movie, I soiled myself. Not only does it feature my favorite actor Don Niam, it also has my second favorite actor Todd Weinguard as Maniac Gang member #4. This movie contains Don Niam’s hair which is probably the most significant thing to ever happen to theater. Ever. It should be required by law that everyone must watch this movie. I will definitely name my first,second, and fourth child Stingray. My third child will be named anus for obvious reasons. Anyways, I highly recommend this movie. If you want to cry, laugh, defecate on yourself, and become erect at the same time, see this movie. Please make a sequel Mr. Ho.

Oh man this is bad…

This is the worst movie I have ever seen. I felt compelled to write this review however, not because I think the film should be avoided, but on the contrary, I believe everyone should own a copy of “Undefeatable (that barely even sounds like a grammatically correct word).” The plot, the acting, the fighting, and the lines (oh my goodness the lines are great) are so far below even your average C- film that combined, they create a comprehensively miserable whole. Go out and rent this video, buy a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon, call up your buddies, and sit down for what might be one of the more memorable movie experiences of your life.

Undefeatable is Unbelievable!
Rarely does one experience in the world of movie making a work that both shocks and enthralls. Undefeatable is a powerhouse. As is its sexy cast of butt kickin’ martial arts ladies. The setting, University of Maryland gymnasium. The script, poetic. The action, jolting. The production, one that elicits comparison to a Lord of the Rings. The producers certainly make use of technology utilizing action photography techniques used in mega budget films like the Matrix.

Although not recommended for children, this feel good cinematic adventure gives new meaning to the integration of performance art and dismemberment.

Bravo! Rumors are swirling about the sequel ‘Undefeatable II – Return of the Eyeballs’.

Not yet enough?! Feel free to browse through all three pages of user comments on IMDB.

I haven’t had a chance yet to really sit down and bask in the full glory of “Undefeatable”, but what I have seen so far in addition to the fight scene I posted a few days ago is truly amazing. Keep your eyes peeled for a full review with pictures in the near (or not near) future.

2 Comments

  1. JJ JJ January 14, 2009

    I……..can not wait.”Nuff said.”

  2. JJ JJ January 16, 2009

    Enthralled from the very beginning – Yes! Three cheers for the film of all films. Not only does this film involve a society in which EVERYONE knows martial arts, it also has its “touchy” moments for all you emotionally sensitive manly men of men. As macabre as the eye-gouging and rapes were, so was the acting. Although I was entirely sold on Cythia Rothrock’s brilliant performance during her sister’s death, many more scenes must certainly not be missed. Here’s a short list that I truly loved.
    1. Eating the undercooked steak after raping his wife, so badass.
    2. Throwing steak at the wall.
    3. The opening of the maniacal killer’s house by the cops without kicking the door down, how strong his single thrust is to open the door.
    4. The horrible reenactment of real cops as they sweep the house (“Clear,” followed by the awkward looking, incorrect holding position of their guns as they finish their three second sweep of the house)
    5. The final brawl, oh how real it felt…
    There are simply far too many horrible parts of this film that place it TOP 5 on my MOVIES TO OWN LIST. It’s that good.
    Good stuff Joseph…Good stuff.

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