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Posts tagged as “News”

Oh, HI, snow! I didn’t see you there.

If you haven’t heard, New Yorkers were supposed to get blasted with yet another massive snow storm that was going to lock down the world and destroy families and kill all children under 6 and freeze reservoirs and slaughter puppies and coat everything we know and love in a mile high sheet of ice. Except we didn’t. All we got was a couple of days of my most hated euphemism, the dread “wintry mix” which is a pleasant way of saying “freezing fucking rain and slush and huge murky poisonous puddles and ice and slipping and broken wrists.”

Where New Yorkers didn’t get completely ass fucked by mother nature, the central part of the US did. Fucked big time. There’s a cloud (seen in the photo above) covering ONE THIRD of the United States. Holy shit balls. That’s a wicked huge cloud, as they would say in the parlance of New England which is, incidentally, not covered by the cloud.

Another part of the image above that I like so much is how the state lines are clearly visible from space, as if tattooed on the landscape by some inescapable alien (or divine, perhaps Freddie Mercury) force. Who knew you could see state lines from space?! Astronauts probably, but not me. Fucking astronauts and their dehydrated food.

Get more info on the storm (you know, with like actual science) here: HuffPo: U.S. Snowstorm Seen From Space: Wild Weather Captured By NASA (PHOTOS)

Also:

“WE DON’T NEED NO MOON CHEESE BABIES!!!!”

The Silver Fox is PISSED.

“Do you consider yourself a bigot?” OUCH.

What Andrew Shirvell is doing is abhorrent. To target this student in this, frankly, insane manner is just beyond belief for me. I can’t even conceive of the dysfunctional mind that would become obsessed and fixated like this. Dude is fucked up for sure. I hope this has a good ending, i.e., Shirvell disgraced and fired and Chris Armstrong able to move on and not be fucked up by this.

Even better than how awkward Shirvell comes off is how fucking pissed Anderson Cooper is getting about this. Appropriately, of course, but it’s remarkable how hard he’s straining not to blow up at this idiot. Watch the video for the most bizarre news story I’ve encountered in a while. Such poor behavior from a public servant.

Tokyo’s oldest man…but he’s been dead for three decades.

It’s official: Japan is WEIRD AS FUCK.

Tokyo’s ‘oldest man’ had been dead for 30 years

He was thought to be the oldest man in Tokyo – but when officials went to congratulate Sogen Kato on his 111th birthday, they uncovered mummified skeletal remains lying in his bed.

Mr Kato may have been dead for 30 years according to Japanese authorities.

They grew suspicious when they went to honour Mr Kato at his address in Adachi ward, but his granddaughter told them he “doesn’t want to see anybody”.

Police are now investigating the family on possible fraud charges.

‘Living Buddha’

Welfare officials had tried to meet Mr Kato since early this year. But when they went to visit, family members repeatedly chased them away, according to Tomoko Iwamatsu, an Adachi ward official.

Authorities grew suspicious and sought an investigation by police, who forced their way into the house on Wednesday.

They discovered a mummified body, believed to be Kato, lying in his bed, wearing underwear and pyjamas, covered with a blanket.

Mr Kato’s relatives told police that he had “confined himself in his room more than 30 years ago and became a living Buddha,” according to a report by Jiji Press.

But the family had received 9.5 million yen ($109,000: £70,000) in widower’s pension payments via Mr Kato’s bank account since his wife died six years ago, and some of the money had recently been withdrawn.

The pension fund had long been unable to contact Mr Kato.

“His family must have known he has been dead all these years and acted as if nothing happened. It’s so eerie,” said Yutaka Muroi, a Tokyo metropolitan welfare official.

Original article here. And also, double ewe tea eff?