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Posts tagged as “New York”

Where have I been?

Hi there, The Black Laser friends. It’s been a while. Nearly three years, in fact, if we’re judging by the date on my Donald Trump post directly following this one. And, boy, is that post still unfortunately timely.

But where have I been since January 21, 2017? Here! Everywhere! Lots of changes! In the interest of keeping things brisk, let’s do a nice, vaguely chronological list.

  • I quit my job at Wax and left the industry all together. I loved my crew there, but I was burnt out on the ad industry and needed to change. My energy output was far greater than my energy input.
  • I moved from New York City to San Jose, CA. Similarly, I was pretty burnt on New York City. It’s the most fun place when you are 28 and single, but that gets old and you get married and move out to Queens and, one day, you wake up and think, “What the hell am I schlepping through the fucking snow for?” So we moved. Even better, I moved away without writing a break up letter with the city. Feel free to search for some examples of one of those on the internet.
  • I started a construction company that focuses on greenhouses called Verdant Construction with JJ, his dad John, and an Australian named Jason. I figured that it would be easy to jump head-first into an industry I knew basically nothing about. Whoops!
  • We moved from San Jose, CA to Soquel, CA, which is not too far, but the quality of life near the beach is wildly superior to San Jose.
  • I bought a monster grill that I get to cook on 4 times a week, even through the dead of winter. I haven’t seen snow, or my arch-enemy “the wintry mix,” in nearly three years.
  • I spent a semester at Cabrillo College in Aptos, CA taking some basic business classes. I realized that, suddenly!, I was a business man who knew pretty much nothing about business. Whoops again! So I thought to fix that problem without having to learn everything the hardest way: by failing.
  • After whetting my appetite for higher learning at Cabrillo and recognizing that community college was never going to meet my standards, I started an MBA program at the business school at Santa Clara University. Because I was not busy enough working full time and traveling all over the west coast for work. Whoops whoops whoops!
  • Our old cat Henry died. He grew more and more threadbare over his last six months and spent a lot of time sick, barfing much more frequently than even his usual high level. Eventually his motor control gave out and he quickly wound down. Rest in peace, business cat.
  • We got a kitten, Noodle, to keep Baby company. Her name was Dixie at the foster home, and I wanted to call her Cup. Sarah thought Cup o’Noodles which matched the fact that she (the kitten) is a floppy, cross-eyed, little cuddle monster who loves belly rubs. And, it turns out, that Baby didn’t want to company. We hope she warms up to Noodle over the next year.

And that’s pretty much it for me for the last 2.8 years. Many changes, some good, some not great. I’ve been a lot of places, met a lot of characters, and eaten a lot of sketchy burritos. Life is pretty good overall. I’ve got some upcoming projects to share, a strong new theme for 2020 I am getting started on early but won’t share quite yet, and a bit of a bug to exercise the old space bar. So, yeah, hi, I love you. Thanks for reading.

A few simple ways to improve the New York Subway experience

mta

Today while clicking around the internet, I found a site called 100 Improvements to the New York City Subway. I read through it (and you should too) and I agree with some of his ideas (solar panels on outdoor stations, train positions, and notifications on platforms, among others). Of course, some of his ideas are stupid or impractical or both (Subway USB power, I’m looking at you), but what are you going to do, right?

It got me thinking of how I would improve the subway experience. And I think I have some pretty good ideas.

  1. Arrest the panflute guy. – Honestly, does it got more annoying than the fucking panflute guy? He’s so fucking earnest. When they arrest him, they should smash his panflute and break his fingers so he cannot make another one.
  2. Publicly shame any dude who sits with his legs spread wide open on a subway car. – We get it, asshole. You have huge balls and have to keep your legs spread wide open so your balls have a seat of their own. But guess what? Your balls aren’t that big. Close your legs. If someone is caught doing this, the MTA should post embarrassing photos of them all over the train so they get their egos deflated. In the off chance your balls ARE that huge go to a god damned doctor already.
  3. Record the “meaningful” conversations of people on the L train. – And then send the tapes to them when they are A) sober or B) over 30. Not as publicly embarrassing as the balls-guys, but potentially more life-crushing.
  4. Ban paint buckets. – No one ever went into a crowded subway station and thought, You know what would be super pleasant right now? Some shit head playing drums on a bunch of buckets REALLY LOUDLY. Stop it.
  5. Install anti-dance devices. – Your show sucks, kid.
  6. Take away Ralphie’s newpapers. – Any longtime L rider will recognize Ralphie, the son of a bitch who’s “just trying to sell newspapers to get back on his feet”. Well, he’s been trying to get back on his feet the exact same way for at least 10 years and he hasn’t seemed to have made any real progress. We see through your elaborate ruse, Ralphie. No one is convinced. Give it a rest, you miserable junkie fuck.
  7. Kick out the stress test Scientologists. – Yeah, I am stressed out and you trying to foist your hokey pseudo-religion/cult on me isn’t helping. Ditto for all the other religious panhandlers in the subway tunnels.
  8. Pay the saxophone alien guy a million dollars. – Sorry. I love that guy. What a brilliant asshole.

There are a few ideas. What do you think could help improve the subway experience?

Girl Walk // All Day

I have an interesting relationship with dance. As a thing to do, I love it. Unabashedly so. If you and I have not gone dancing together, we should, because it’s fucking awesome and fun and great exercise and all that shit. As an art form, I’ve never really been able to get into it, particularly with interpretive dance. I just don’t get it at all. I’ve tried, oh lord how I’ve tried, but it’s just not for me. Anyone out there willing to prove me wrong? I’d be happy to learn.

Girl Walk // All Day is a preview of a film that combines my love of dancing with a presentation of dance on the State Island ferry and terminal and the music of Girl Talk

Here’s what the creators say about it.

What is Girl Walk // All Day?

We’re making an epic, 71-minute dance music video set to All Day, the new album by mash-up musician Girl Talk (aka Gregg Gillis). The idea behind Girl Walk // All Day emerged from our desire to expand the boundaries around the idea of the traditional music video, which usually spans the length of a single track. This album-length piece will feature a talented group of dancers across a range of public and private spaces around New York City, turning the city’s sidewalks and obstacles into part of an evolving improvisational dance routine.

The piece will be available for free online in short, serialized segments and we also plan to screen the full-length film in public spaces, and at festivals, concerts, parties, and beyond, inspiring an interactive viewing experience that will evolve into a series of dance parties around the globe.

I’m totally in love with it. It is just great. I only wish I could be one of the dancers. I feel confident that I could do this. Nevertheless, I enjoyed this little preview of what is going to become a 70 minute film so much that I nearly sent them funds on their kickstarter project. The only reason I didn’t is because they’re already at double their goal with 38 days left for donations.

Check this shit out. I can’t wait to see the finished thing. If you feel compelled, kick them a few bucks. I might end up doing so.

Oh, HI, snow! I didn’t see you there.

If you haven’t heard, New Yorkers were supposed to get blasted with yet another massive snow storm that was going to lock down the world and destroy families and kill all children under 6 and freeze reservoirs and slaughter puppies and coat everything we know and love in a mile high sheet of ice. Except we didn’t. All we got was a couple of days of my most hated euphemism, the dread “wintry mix” which is a pleasant way of saying “freezing fucking rain and slush and huge murky poisonous puddles and ice and slipping and broken wrists.”

Where New Yorkers didn’t get completely ass fucked by mother nature, the central part of the US did. Fucked big time. There’s a cloud (seen in the photo above) covering ONE THIRD of the United States. Holy shit balls. That’s a wicked huge cloud, as they would say in the parlance of New England which is, incidentally, not covered by the cloud.

Another part of the image above that I like so much is how the state lines are clearly visible from space, as if tattooed on the landscape by some inescapable alien (or divine, perhaps Freddie Mercury) force. Who knew you could see state lines from space?! Astronauts probably, but not me. Fucking astronauts and their dehydrated food.

Get more info on the storm (you know, with like actual science) here: HuffPo: U.S. Snowstorm Seen From Space: Wild Weather Captured By NASA (PHOTOS)

Also:

“WE DON’T NEED NO MOON CHEESE BABIES!!!!”

This DO pretty perfectly represents how I feel all the time…

…and why I spend so little time at home.

Why stay home when New York holds so many myriad adventures for the uninhibited? Tonight, for example, I should probably go home and chill out after being out last night until quarter to six, but is that going to happen? Not fucking likely. I would like to go to the Ghostly International party tonight at Public Assembly. Or maybe Big Freedia round 4 at Santos? Anyone want to go dancing? Or maybe I’ll just strike out solo and have an adventure that no one will ever know about. Who knows? The night is young and I have the will.

Link to the original Do.

Sixpoint Craft Ales, perhaps the greatest American beer

Dear America,

New York City has been holding out on you.

I’m not talking about musical theatre or the nightlife or whatever things people come to New York from all over the country to experience. No, I’m talking about what might be the single greatest beer in the entire history of the universe, Sixpoint’s Righteous Rye. Never before has a beer so tasty, so dangerous, exerted such pressure on me to drink it. It makes most other craft beers seem like the cans of Hamm’s sitting in your trunk while you’re at summer school when you’re 16.

Brooklyn Brewery? I love you, but no.

Dogfishhead? No!

Smuttynose? How I adore your IPA, but, still, no.

Europe? Your dogged adherence to tradition is commendable, but no.

Asia? Not in a million years.

Africa? South America? Australia? No! No!! No!!!

And while I would love to recommend that you fine folks around the country go to your local purveyor of fine beers and purchase a six pack of this mighty beast of a drink, you cannot. Sixpoint does not bottle beer. You can only get it on draught. It’s even difficult to find sometimes in Manhattan, but it waits for me like a patient friend when I come home to Brooklyn. Always there. Always happy to see me.

Sixpoint, you have brightened my life with the Righteous Rye and I thank you for it.

To the rest of America, when you’re in town on vacation, take a break from the tourist crap, take the subway across the East River, find yourself a nice little bar, and get a Sixpoint. You will thank me for it.

Check out their site: Sixpoint Craft Ales

Mikey, Leah, and Sienna visit New York – 10/11/2009

Last month my brother, his wife, and their child Sienna came to visit me in New York. It was an adorable trip and we hung out and danced and played and ate and ventured through the city without a care in the world. I also took a bunch of photos. Surprise surprise!!

Here are some of the best of the set.

Here’s the whole gallery!

And even better, a bonus video!

For these photos I took out my much maligned 50mm prime, the unbelievably cheap piece of glass I got with my first camera. I thought, then, that it would be a great tool for learning, but I ended up using my Tamron 28-75 much much more. However, the Tamron is long gone and replaced by a superior lens I use more and more rarely, and the 50mm is still sitting in my drawer. I never really liked using the lens; it felt clunky and inelegant compared to the zoom I was used to shooting with. It didn’t behave like I wanted it to, and I had a hard time achieving pleasing results.

But that was then, and this is now. Now, I have much more experience shooting with primes, so I thought maybe I ought to give the little 50 a second chance. I am glad I did because, for such a cheap shit lens, it is capable of making quite good photographs. I used it a lot in this set since it’s super light and we were wandering all over the place and I didn’t want to carry around a bunch of heavy shit.

I am still not entirely satisfied with the clunky auto-focus, but that’s about it. Sure it’s soft wide open, but what isn’t? I kind of like that. Having everything in super sharp focus is for illustration and technical photographs. Life’s not in focus all the time, so why should my photos be? Right. I can definitely see upgrading to the slightly more expensive 50mm f/1.4 in the future just to have the more advanced auto-focus mechanism. There’s no reason to go L for a half-stop difference, though, especially with the fine high ISO performance of the 5D2. Stay tuned for further developments from the little lens that could.