Because why the fuck not. I am convinced that R. Kelly is one of the most insane people in all of music right now. Seriously. The dude is batshit insane. I know I’ve yet to begin my series about Trapped in the Closet, but you have to believe me. R. Kelly is CRAZY. Go ahead. Watch “Real Talk” and tell me he’s well balanced. Go on now.
Now, go listen to the lyrics of “Sex in the Kitchen”. I’ll be patient. A particular quotation I like: “Y’all gotta read between the lines. Crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch. Munch munch munch munch munch.”
See? CRAZY AS FUCK.
And I think he’s great.
This video isn’t all that high on the general “My name is Robert” Craziness Scale™, but the hints are there. Listen to the lyrics for some classic R. Kelly nonsense. Great.
One of these days I’ll get around to my analysis of Trapped In The Closet, chapter by chapter, here on The Black Laser for you all to enjoy.
It won’t let me embed this video, but it’s so great that I need to share it with all of you. Really, watch it right now. It’s the hot track of 2010.
Sittin’ on a toilet
Holy shit, if this doesn’t make you laugh, something is wrong with you.
Well, November 8th came and went and not a sighting of aliens anywhere. Luckily for Colleen here, she’s got an explanation over a well-timed phone call.
Enjoy the madness.
Joad Cressbeckler Fears Genetic Modification Causes ‘Wrath-Minded Taters’
“Them Hebrews what signed my promissory note come to me and said ol’ Joad needed to have a book.”
“Who and what’s behind these taters monkeyshines?!”
“Tater disease what brung us Irish.”
“You’re tater mindin’ you’re lookin’ to infiltrate ol’ Joad’s cabin but you’re too late!”
I can not get enough of these. I love the Onion’s video news segments, but these are such genius that I wish they did them every week. I would repost every single one because I love them so so so so so so much. Everybody needs ornery old prospectors in their lives. I do.
This is so magically insane that I will withhold comment for a bit.
I give you 45 minutes until there’s an auto-tune of this.