Burton C. Bell has it almost right. The sperm actually connect with the egg in the fallopian tube and then it drifts down into the uterus where it implants in the soft fleshy walls. If it happens in the ovary, you get an ectopic pregnancy, which just isn't fun for anyone.

But, really, I think Gene Hoglan has the right of it. Pfft. Kids.

Something tells me I missed the boat on this one, but it's pretty damn funny anyway. You'll notice that there's no Dio songs anywhere on their list.

Joad Cressbeckler Is Back To Claim Rightful Title As Most Ornery Pundit Alive

This made my face hurt as I tried not to bust into laughter in the office. I've loved The Onion's videos ever since the first one I saw, the Ninja Parade one. God, I love me some good 1900s humor. His predications list? "Ain't Heard The Last Of That Tesla Fellow"? "Spanish Fitting to Rise Up"? So fucking great.

Pretty for a Chinese.

Click on through to The Onion's site to see the video in its native 16:9 format.

marriedtothesea.com

Get it? GET IT?!? ¡JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA!

No? You don't? Pathetic. Here.

This is the second of two poetry jokes I am posting right now.

Urban Dictionary has 58 definitions for the term "dipset". The one I am inclined to take into consideration for this posting is as follows:

dipset

The diplomats, also known as dipset, are a Harlem new york based group who previously signed to Rockefeller records but now are signed to their own label diplomat records. The group was founded by rappers Cameron and Jim Jones. The diplomats first became popular following Cameron's reemergence in 2002.

Usage: "Dipset...yup...yeh, yeh, yeh"

With that placed firmly in the forefront of our brains, today I happened across Dipset Haiku, a humorous collection of haikus in what I can only assume to be Cam'ron and the remainder of the Dipset's style.

Here are a few gems.

3G'd Up

The Great Recession

Rehab

Yellow Bellies

But get yourself o'er to the site and read the rest. Perfect for a boring day at the office. I'm also a real big fan of their color palette.

This is the first of two poetry jokes I am about to post.

Princeton professor and Pulitzer Prize-winner Paul Muldoon critiques my favorite pop starlet of the moment, Kesha. In my opinion, he accurately describes the majesty of Kesha's work, the wonderful way she uses word meaning in novel ways to express fresh ideas, and her obvious homage to Yeats.

I feel inspired by her work to create and to continue to create in the face of people not being able to understand the true depths of your work.

Oh god yes.

Why do some mountains look like Presidents?

In obvious reference to a rather inspiring video I've posted previously here on The Black Laser.

RIP, Ass Dan.

This made me actually laugh aloud.

From here.

Aren't thou bored?!

Tonight, on the train home from work, the man standing next to me was scratching his scratchers and reading this gem.

Awesome. I love New York. It is so great.