Good advice from the Pythons. Happy Monday, friends and enemies!
Tag Archive: Funny
Pop Star’s Single, ‘Booty Wave’, Most Likely Civilization’s Downfall
Yet again The Onion hits the nail square on the head. Mocking the increasingly trashy pop stars of our day and age, the clip just kills it with every line. Incredible, sad, and funny. Horrifying, really, in its absolute truth. Although, I am pretty confident that the fake video in the above talk show clip is actually less insipid than the Alexandra Stan video I’m posting below.
Surprising right? With the lengths The Onion went to make their parody as ridiculous as they could they could still not top the bad taste of some shitty Eastern European producer and his overly made-up 5 of a pop starlet.
“I’m Rick Perry, and I’m a piece of shit.”
Yes, Rick. Yes, you are.
This was the funniest thing on Earth to me when I was 12. It is still way up there. Enjoy.
Amazing. I’ve never seen the film, but it’s available on Netflix. I will watch the film soon! And you shall know of it!
This is an internet classic, and I am sure you can understand why. I mean, just look at it. Bad composites, silly song, inane content, utterly sincere performer, the whole thing might as well be an object lesson in the perfect viral internet video. And the Youtube hits—6,161,198 as of this writing—suggest that I am correct.
What I think is really great about this though is the purity and naïveté of the sentiment Bangs is expressing. It’s not about bitches and bling and popping 9s, but about taking some nice girl he fancies on a date where he is going to make sure she gets popcorn and has a nice time because he likes her. Beneath all the imported US trappings of modern hip hop (money everywhere, pimp gadgets, gold chains, the trappings of the “baller” life style) is a sweet song about young romance. “Let me take you to the movies, shorty. I’m sure later on you’ll be my baby.” He’s courting her with nary a mention of ass shaking or pussy popping. Refreshing, right?
“Hey shorty, where you at, where you going? Can I see you later, because I can see you’re busy right now.” Respectful to a fault. Good man, Bangs, good man.
“It’s perfectly safe to swim under the ice of a haunted lake at night. Just do it.”
GENIUS.
It would have been better if they’d been choreographed. And moved their feet more.
“So, uh, Karl, where do you want to have this tanz party?”
“Oh, how about that underpass about 3km from here?”
“Ok, yeah, uh, sure. What time?”
“I think noon is good.”
Learn to kick with the left leg too, bro.
I’ll give you one guess as to where all of these videos were made.
TIME’S UP!
If you said anything but “Germany”, I have one question for you: how does it feel to be so utterly wrong?
I kind of feel like cybergoths are Europe’s juggalos: I will never truly understand either subculture, but the members are devoted as all hell to looking like complete idiots. And, man, are cybergoths serious about what they do. Look at all these dance parties! All outside during the…day? In parks? And underpasses? And town squares?
Wait a second.
First, what is “cyber” about dancing in a park? And second, what is “goth” about the daytime? Shouldn’t all you Karls and Dieters and Manjas and Gretels and shit be dancing at night in some warehouse surrounded by technology? To me, the word “cybergoth” conjures images of your traditional goth type in some sort of William Gibson cyberpunk realm, dark and brooding and integrated into technology. Kind of like how Priss looks in Blade Runner once she’s done her make-up before Deckard smokes her. But these rainbow-dreaded, zipper-saturated, glowstick Krauts dancing badly on the lawn are not at all what I have in mind.
At what point do you think to yourself, “Man, you know what would look great and definitely get me laid like nonstop? Neon green fake dreads and a black respirator. I am going to be drowning in pussy, bro.” Not that a cybergoth has ever used the word “bro” but I thought it would add a little something to the statement.
Maybe I’m getting old. Maybe I lack imagination. Maybe I am a stupid, terrible prick, but I don’t get it. I don’t understand what would drive you to this sort of thing. I understand gangs and gang violence. I understand hipsters. I understand all sorts of people. But I do not understand cybergoths. Hell, I feel like I’ve got a better grip on juggalos than I’ve got on cybergoths. Does anyone want to explain these four-on-the-floor, Hot-Topic-pants-wearing, schnitzel-eating goobers to me? I need help from you, the internet. Someone tell me why I shouldn’t spend the rest of my life laughing at these clowns. Wikipedia’s not helping at all.
And don’t even get me started on the dance moves. Holy shit. It makes me want to go to one of these clubs and bust a fucking move where I don’t just spin my arms around.
What a bunch of g-d assholes.
