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Sarah Dances – “Monster” (feat. SJ and Corinney-binny), also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SJ & THE BLACK LASER!!!

Today is SJ’s fifth birthday!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SJ!! Which means it is ALSO The Black Laser’s 5th Birthday!!! Happy birthday, The Black Laser!!!!!

What better way to celebrate than with yet another Sarah Dances, this time featuring the birthday girl and he sister? You’re right. There is no better way. We shot this bad boy WAY back in May, but for this reason and that, I didn’t get around to finishing it until September. Oops! But, the delay makes it a perfect way to celebrate this momentous occasion.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SJ AND THE BLACK LASER!!!!

cakeisawesomesm

Sarah Dances – “I Love It” (feat. Hannah)

Earlier this year, Sarah, Hannah, and I took a day trip up to the Bronx Botanical Gardens in the Bronx (DUH) and shot this little dance video. It’s the first team dance video we’ve done, but probably not the last.

Enjoy! There are more to come!

An American Coach in London

Last week, the longform version of some English Premier League spots I cut featuring Jason Sudeikis shipped. Here it is! Enjoy!

You can see the rest here: NBC Sports @ Youtube

More are coming soon. Keep your eyes peeled.

#TeamMikko all the way.

Awesome.

Sy Perlis, 91 and tougher than you are.

Click the link for the video. I couldn't turn off autoplay and that's a no-no.

Click the link for the video. I couldn’t turn off autoplay and that’s a no-no.

Holy crap this dude is tough. 91? WWII vet? Working out five days a week? Bench pressing what looks to be more than his bodyweight when people twenty years younger are off lamenting the loss of their youthful strength??

HuffPo copypasta:

Sy Perlis, a 91-year-old weightlifter, bench-pressed 187.2 pounds last week to break the world record in the 90-and-over age division, the Arizona Republic reported.

While the idea of a nonagenarian lifting more than what many grown men weigh is enough to amaze, consider this: The Surprise, Ariz., man hoisted 52.2 pounds more than the previous mark set in the World Association of Benchers and Deadlifters.

“I would say that’s pretty phenomenal,” five-time world powerlifting champion Rickey Dale Crain told The Huffington Post.

Watch above as Perlis wows the crowd at the National Push-Pull Bench Press and Dead Lift Championships June 8 in Phoenix by slowly lowering the barbell to his chest and pushing the weight all the way up.

Perlis, a World War II veteran, owes his Herculean strength to five workouts a week after he skipped competition in 2012 to have a pacemaker inserted, the Republic wrote.

The World Association of Benchers and Deadlifters says on its website that drug-testing takes place at every meet.

Perlis has certainly earned our respect, as well as his place alongside names of other amazing senior citizens who excel at feats of endurance. Take Fauja Singh, who recently retired as the so-called “world’s oldest marathoner.” He was 101.

Bad ass. He beat the record by 52.2 pounds!

It just goes to show that no matter what happens to you, you should never give up trying to make yourself better. You only have one body; make it at strong as you can.

Also, note to whomever made this video, get yourself a pop-filter. Holy shit, your plosives.

Happy birthday to me!

Today I am 31 years old. To celebrate, let’s review something that happened on my 12th birthday: OJ Simpson fleeing the LAPD in his white Ford Bronco after killing his wife.*

*Guys, spoiler alert, he did it.

The Other Side of the Cart

While in Maryland over Memorial Day*, Sarah, Hannah, and I shot a quick and dirty little video. Friday, while hiding from the rain and completely bailing on the first day of this year’s Governor’s Ball (OH NO WE MISSED KINGS OF LEON BARF), I decided it was a good time to throw it together. Nine hours later, the video above was birthed into the world.

You know, these things are funny. I always think to myself, Oh no, this is going to take like an hour tops, but then I am such a perfectionist I end up spending an entire day tweaking and noodling and getting everything just right. I guess that is better than putting shitty, unfinished work out into the world.

Anyway, enjoy! And laugh. And, if you don’t laugh, FAKE IT AND LAUGH ANYWAY.

*Note: I’ve finally hammered down in my brain which is Memorial Day and which is Labor Day. Good for me!

A few simple ways to improve the New York Subway experience

mta

Today while clicking around the internet, I found a site called 100 Improvements to the New York City Subway. I read through it (and you should too) and I agree with some of his ideas (solar panels on outdoor stations, train positions, and notifications on platforms, among others). Of course, some of his ideas are stupid or impractical or both (Subway USB power, I’m looking at you), but what are you going to do, right?

It got me thinking of how I would improve the subway experience. And I think I have some pretty good ideas.

  1. Arrest the panflute guy. – Honestly, does it got more annoying than the fucking panflute guy? He’s so fucking earnest. When they arrest him, they should smash his panflute and break his fingers so he cannot make another one.
  2. Publicly shame any dude who sits with his legs spread wide open on a subway car. – We get it, asshole. You have huge balls and have to keep your legs spread wide open so your balls have a seat of their own. But guess what? Your balls aren’t that big. Close your legs. If someone is caught doing this, the MTA should post embarrassing photos of them all over the train so they get their egos deflated. In the off chance your balls ARE that huge go to a god damned doctor already.
  3. Record the “meaningful” conversations of people on the L train. – And then send the tapes to them when they are A) sober or B) over 30. Not as publicly embarrassing as the balls-guys, but potentially more life-crushing.
  4. Ban paint buckets. – No one ever went into a crowded subway station and thought, You know what would be super pleasant right now? Some shit head playing drums on a bunch of buckets REALLY LOUDLY. Stop it.
  5. Install anti-dance devices. – Your show sucks, kid.
  6. Take away Ralphie’s newpapers. – Any longtime L rider will recognize Ralphie, the son of a bitch who’s “just trying to sell newspapers to get back on his feet”. Well, he’s been trying to get back on his feet the exact same way for at least 10 years and he hasn’t seemed to have made any real progress. We see through your elaborate ruse, Ralphie. No one is convinced. Give it a rest, you miserable junkie fuck.
  7. Kick out the stress test Scientologists. – Yeah, I am stressed out and you trying to foist your hokey pseudo-religion/cult on me isn’t helping. Ditto for all the other religious panhandlers in the subway tunnels.
  8. Pay the saxophone alien guy a million dollars. – Sorry. I love that guy. What a brilliant asshole.

There are a few ideas. What do you think could help improve the subway experience?