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Category: Film (page 1 of 5)

Is this the finest cinematic moment of all time?

Or is it this?

Thank you, Aaron, Lord of the Bunchies, for making my day brighter with the second clip.

Battle Royale Live Tweet recap

I got real bored at home tonight. But instead of being creative and doing something worthwhile, I thought I’d live tweet the film Battle Royale. I only put it up on Twitter this time since people seem to get a little annoyed when I blow up Facebook as well.

And now that WordPress has the option to embed tweets, let’s recap the whole thing typos and all! Yay!


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Wendy’s Training Videos 2: Grill Skills

Where can I get a spatula microphone? Here, maybe?

Dollar Shave Club: Advertising done so, so right

My work compatriot Mike sent me this video today while I should have been working. Instead, I watched the video and am now wasting more time telling all of you about the video. C’est la vie, eh?

The video is an ad for a new website called Dollar Shave Club which is dedicated to bringing men (and women, I suppose) affordable razors.

From their About page:

We got tired of spending $15-$20 every time we bought razor blades. We asked ourselves, did we really need all this fancy technology in our shave: a vibrating handle, LED guide-lights, 8-blades, and grip that could steady a 9-iron? The answer was a defiant “No”!

We felt like we’d been over-marketed to. “Big Shave” companies keep telling us we need more expensive equipment, but why? Shaving should be simple. It sure used to be. Look at old photos of your father & grandfather. They didn’t have extreme shave gear, and they look pretty handsome, don’t they?

So… we teamed up with one of the world’s leading blade manufacturers and created signature 2, 4, and 6 blade razors. They’ve got everything you need in a shave: stainless steel blades, lubrication bars, and pivoting heads.

Seems pretty neat to me, but they’ve forgotten man’s most affordable, most rugged shaving method: the humble, magnificent, thrift safety razor. I switched to the safety razor years and years ago after becoming fed up with the poor shaves I was getting from more modern razors. Plus, as they said above, who wants to spend 15-20 bucks for fucking cartridges? Then you try and drag out blades WELL past when you should and you get piss poor shaves. No thanks.

With a minor investment in brush and handle, safety razors are your best friend when shaving. There are numerous of brands of blades on the market, all of which are incredibly cheap. My personal favorites, the Turkish Derby Extras. A few years ago, Jesse and I got a sample pack of razors and determined that the Derbies were the best: just sharp enough but not too sharp (Feathers, I’m looking at you), hold an edge well, and are inexpensive. For 20 cents a blade, you really don’t mind shaving with it three or four times and then replacing it. And therein is the advantage: with a constantly sharp blade (and a good afetrshave), you tend not to suffer from cuts and ingrown hairs and razor burn so endemic with dull, shitty blades. Think about it this way: have you ever tried to cut a tomato with a dull knife? Think about what happens to the poor tomato. Same thing with your face.

Plus, since I shave MAYBE once every 5 to 7 days (not for lack of hair; purely from laziness), I spend maybe a dollar on razors a month. Quite a bit like what they are charging for their baseline razor, but I get a vastly superior shave. In fact, if these guys were smart, they’d offer a double edge razor offer. Maybe like 10 razors a month for a buck. 5 for 50 cents? There’s got to be something there for the safety razor enthusiast. And hell, I’d like to support Dollar Shave Club. Seems like a good crüe.

So, if you’re not yet enlightened to the joys of a good wetshave with a safety razor, check these dudes out. I like their thing and this ad is pure brilliance.

In case you were feeling a little blue today…

Good advice from the Pythons. Happy Monday, friends and enemies!

Wendy’s Training Videos

These were floating around a few years ago, but never made it to The Black Laser. Well, the time is now!

Presented here for your viewing displeasure are three training videos created by Wendy’s in what looks like the early 90s. And my god are they terrible. They just reek of corporations raping popular culture turning things that were once cool (old school hip hop) into things that are really really not (rapping about sodas for a training video). And for Wendy’s to think that singing soulfully about adding cheese to chili is the best way to reach their new employees is pretty offensive too.

Yet, I love these things. The people in them are just so earnest. The guy and chick in the hot drinks and cold drinks videos respectively just feel like young, starving actors who got their first real job and are so psyched to be there that they could be asked to do anything and they’d do it. It’s kind of endearing, I think. I mean, watch the videos and tell me you won’t be humming the frankly awful songs the rest of the day. Try it. Go ahead. I dare you.

My favorite Rick Perry spoof so far

“I’m Rick Perry, and I’m a piece of shit.”

Yes, Rick. Yes, you are.

Context if you’ve somehow missed the original.

Time-lapse from the ISS

Have you ever wondered what I, as reigning Space Pope, sees every day as I sail over your puny, insignificant world deciding whether today shall be the day I raze your filthy planet with fire? It looks a lot like this. Of course, I see many more worlds filled with many more people more deserving of life than you pitiful humans.