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Month: July 2012 (page 1 of 2)

Dead Sushi trailer

Because you probably haven’t seen two pieces of sushi have sex today.

Help my friend battle cancer.

Help my friend!

My lovely friend Jonathan Waiter, talented photographer and all-around super sweet dude (and surprisingly intense Starcraft player), has recently been diagnosed with late stage lymphoma. If that means nothing to you, let me put it into layman’s terms: he’s got some seriously bad cancer that has spread throughout his torso, to his liver and his heart. Bad bad bad news. Like so many other Americans, Jonathan lacks health insurance and chemotherapy and the surrounding costs are a severe burden.

Before going on, let me quote the description our friend Teresa wrote.

For anyone who may not have heard the full story, or if you are new to the story a​l​t​o​g​e​t​h​e​r​.​.​. Jonathan was diagnosed just recently with Lymphoma. The stage is currently unclear, though it is clear that it is Stage 3 or 4.

The discovery was made following several bouts of losing c​o​n​s​c​i​o​u​s​n​e​s​s​. During one such occasion, he was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. Tests finally concluded that Jonathan was facing a cancer diagnosis. Early imaging showed tumors in the chest cavity, lungs, and surrounding major arteries.

After navigating the public hospital system with no insurance, and a Medicaid application pending, Jonathan went on through additional testing to find that the cancer had also spread to his kidneys, liver and pancreas.

Medical bills are piling up at a truly heart breaking rate. These costs are mostly supposed to be covered retro​-​actively by Medicaid, although, as if more bad news could be suffered, the Medicaid application was denied.

Friends are reviewing the information, and will be going through the motions to appeal the decision by way of a hearing. This could be a fight, but the hope is that it was due to a simple application error.

Jonathan’s case has been escalated to emergency status in the public hospital system. He and some nearby friends are also looking into the possibility of transferring into a more reputable hospital once the Medicaid issue is sorted.

As you can imagine, the phone calls, emails, and messages are pouring in. Well wishers, friends, and family are u​n​d​e​r​s​t​a​n​d​a​b​l​y eager to be updated and to hear Jonathan’s voice on the other end of the phone… however, his energy is very low and he is experiencing a great amount of pain and discomfort most of the time, especially following chemo treatments.

The purpose of this site is to receive regular updates on his mental, physical and emotional state.

A small network of friends will be operating this site. I’m sure it will be a rotating cast depending on who has the latest information and/or closest proximity.

If he is not able to return your calls and messages, please stop by this site, where we will do our best to keep everyone informed of all the newest d​e​v​e​l​o​p​m​e​n​t​s​. I can tell you that Jonathan sincerely appreciates every person in his life, and cares very much for all of the concern that everyone is already showing, and the help that everyone is offering.

There are apparently several fund raising efforts in the works. That is GREAT news. In addition to the donation capabilities of this site, we will try to keep you updated on links to all other efforts to make sure Jonathan receives all the support possible.

Being self employed comes with many advantages and d​i​s​a​d​v​a​n​t​a​g​e​s​.​.​. as Jonathan is currently e​x​p​e​r​i​e​n​c​i​n​g​. There is, of course, freedom to work the way you want and to live the truly rewarding life of a professional artist, but the down sides are inevitable. Limited access to health coverage, no disability insurance, no paid sick time, and the anxiety of uncertainty in the middle of an unforeseen health crisis.

During this long ordeal, Jonathan needs to be able to cover his day to day expenses. By this, I do not mean medical expenses. I mean the basic necessities of life. We can help to make this happen, and I am asking you to do just that.

Your support means the world to Jonathan and to everyone who loves him and wants to see him through to ultimate success. If you know him, you at least have a special place in your heart for him, if you don’t outright love and adore him.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for stopping by. More updates to come, on a regular basis. –Teresa

Serious business here. I don’t ask my readers for a lot here on The Black Laser and I make no money on this site. But this is important to me and it would be great if you could help Jonathan out with anything you can manage. It doesn’t need to be a lot (though that would be rad), but do try and help. Spread the word. You’re all awesome.

Thanks.

Donate here: GoFundMe: Jonathan Waiter

And while you’re at it, check out Jonathan’s photography.

Jonathan Waiter.com (NSFW-skinny girl tits)
Porcelain Insect (NSFW-skinny girl tits)

Baroness’ “Take My Bones Away”

Does anyone else feel as bad as I do for not being into this new Baroness record at all? It’s not exactly bad, but it’s so underwhelming after the last two that I can’t help but feel let down. Red and Blue are both masterpieces of modern prog metal, but Yellow & Green never even approaches their heights. This video is a perfect representation of that. Composed of fairly uninteresting concert footage, it holds no candle to the brilliant visual powerhouses the band has released previously.

What’s going on? Am I missing something?

Canadians are serious about safety. DEADLY serious.

Dear Draft FCB and Canada,

What the fuck? These are amazing. I think I watched the guy blow up like 10 times. I’ll probably watch him blow up another 10. If you do another round of these, can I please please please please please be the guy who yells “there’s been an accident!” I promise not to goof around too much and add “eh” to the end of each of my reads. Only a few takes will sound like this:

“There’s been an accident, eh! Sorry for yelling!”

Please? PLEASE?!

Thanks to Sarah for making my day hilariously darker with these amazing PSAs from America’s hat.

EDIT \\\\ Sarah sent me a compilation video of all 5 spots. WOW. I’ve replaced the videos above with the supercut. Original links here and here.

2012 Gathering of the Juggalos video

“We’re self-thinking survivors here…just like you.”

Well now doesn’t that just say it all.

This is the fourth Gathering of the Juggalos film I’ve posted here on The Black Laser. It is remarkable how time flies when you aren’t paying attention, isn’t it? This year’s crapfest clocks in at a lean 23:15, nearly four minutes shorter than last year’s abortion.

“Nothing but endless love over here.”

I wonder what possesses those who make these videos. Do they think, “How badly can I do something? How poor can my taste be? What is the most awful creative decision I can make?” Does Sugar Slam wake up in the morning and think, “What I do has creative merit. I am contributing to this world.”

The video looks like something an impaired 13 year old in sweats would dream up. I just can’t imagine being the sort of person to whom this would speak. Oh yes, I am so excited that the Psychopathic Boner Clowns are performing! Rap parties in the woods? Great! Being spoken to like I am a retard? Thanks!!

And then you see the line-up and are forced to consider that this is where a career goes to die. Sure, the Psychopathic Records roster is there, but they actually have other people you have heard of. Why would anyone choose to do this to themselves?

Holy shit! Mushroomhead is playing?!? I just ordered my tickets.

R. Kelly’s “Feelin’ Single”

Uhhhhh, musical theatre interlude? What? Kellz, just when we thought you had your shit together, you go and drop this shit on us? Thanks for always keeping up on our toes.

Sarah Dances – “The Rhythm of the Night”

It’s been a little slow around here since I’ve not been working, but that doesn’t mean I’ve been sitting on my thumbs the whole time. Just, you know, most of the time.

Sarah and I made another dance video because why the hell not. Here it is. Enjoy.

I did learn one thing while doing this video: the DaVinci Resolve does not work unless you have a CUDA enhanced GPU. That means that the powerful ATI card I put in my Mac Pro will not allow me to run Resolve. That is incredibly annoying. I was going to use these videos as an opportunity to learn the software, but that will not be happening unless I pony up for Apple’s 1100 dollar Nvidia Quadro card (not going to happen).

Another thing! Why is Color rendering out so much extra? I have handles set to zero frames, but it’s still rendering out as much as a minute extra for clips that are only in the timeline for 5 frames. Bothersome. It makes what should be a fairly fast render into one that takes hours. Luckily, AMA in Media Composer 6.0.1 makes it really easy to overcut the ProResHQ renders without having to wait to reimport everything at 1:1.

God, don’t you love it when I ramble on about shop? Enjoy the video and look out for the next one.

Sarah Dances – “Release Me”

Sarah is back. Everyone say hello to Sarah. Hi, Sarah! We made this dance video yesterday and it is awesome, so you should watch it.