I got real bored at home tonight. But instead of being creative and doing something worthwhile, I thought I’d live tweet the film Battle Royale. I only put it up on Twitter this time since people seem to get a little annoyed when I blow up Facebook as well.
And now that WordPress has the option to embed tweets, let’s recap the whole thing typos and all! Yay!
I was super curious about The Hunger Games (not really) so I went and watched Battle Royale again (really). It’s a very satisfying film.
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Or should I have said, “I am right this moment watching Battle Royale again.”
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
The teens in this movie sound exactly like anime teenagers. Is that really how they sound in Japan? Weird. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Oh fuck that kid just got PUNKED by the broad in purple. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
I think I recognize this helicopter from Godzilla 1988. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Guys, def look out for the dude with the feathered hair and the guy with the bandana. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Teacher got mad shot like a total bitch. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Pay attention or you get a very skillfully thrown knife in the forehead. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
The Japanese broad in the training video SOUNDS all adorable, but I bet her poops are weird and fishy. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Beeping necklace? You’re boned, bro. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
I am not entirely sure HOW the #battleroyale benefits Japanese society, but I am into it for sure.
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Fatty is first. Get your run on, piggy. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
I think this guy was a bad guy in Bleach. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Damn. Fatty had a crossbow. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Bunk bed flashbacks are total bullshit. Get on with the killing! #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Enter: the machine gun. #battleroyale Grenades. A pistol. OOOOhhhhh, nuncucks.
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Suicide?!? Quitters. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Mitsuko is my new favorite. Go, Mitsuko! #teammitsuko #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Oki is SUPER not psyched about the hatchet in his dome. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Feathered hair is a badass. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
And wasting the shit out of his ammo. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Is it weird that I am super sympathetic to the teacher who hates all these little shits? #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
This other chick knows a lot about Mitsuko’s cycle. #teammitsuko #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Don’t taze me, bro! Ah, shit, what am I saying, go ahead and taze the bitch, Mitsuko. #teammitsuko #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
The nerds know how to make C4. #battleroyale CONVENIENT.
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Chigusa is mad pissed he shot her face. Homie’s DEAD. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Chigusa stabbing the fuck out of homeboy is pretty hot. Mitsuko firing at her is even hotter. #teammitsuko #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
I am learning about myself while watching this. #iamgoingtohell #battleroyale #teammitsuko
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Chigusa is toast. #battleroyale Lo siento, Hiroki.
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
I like that we’re supposed to feel for these people, but we never do. I enjoy watching them die. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
My dad called it “boxing”, as in a coffin, which I think is a pretty funny way to describe death. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
No one on this entire island can grow a decent beard. Fact. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
DON’T YOU DARE ASSUME YOU KNOW HOW KEIKO FELT!!! #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Man, the score in this movie is pretty fucking cheeseball, huh?
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Bleach hair used his bankai on bike-guy. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
And now he’s wasting precious bullets shooting tables and jars and shit. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
The best girl friends smoked each other. Rad. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
I wonder what trouble Mitsuko is getting up to? #teammitsuko #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Dramatic irony is when the audience knows something the characters do not. As in that this chick just ate poison. OOPS. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
All these lighthouse girls, whose names we do not know, are toast. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
7 dead Japanese schoolgirls. It’s like a death metal album cover. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Oh, we got another quitter, do we? #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
God, now I feel even worse for the teacher knowing his marriage sucks. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Oh HEEEEYYYY Mitsuko. Sup? #teammitsuko #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Man, go ahead and DIE, Noriko and Nanahara. You two are so dull. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
It’s always a drag when your crush pops four caps in your bitch ass and you die in a puddle. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
How do all these Japanese boys tell these girls apart? They look the damn same to me. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
And then when your crush gets blasted by Mitsuko?? SWEET. #teammitsuko #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Even a peppering of lead can’t keep Mitsuko down. #teammitsuko #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
BUUUUUT like 5 bullets to the chest can. Sayonara, Mitsukochan! #teammitsuko #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
That one shitty basketball game must’ve really been a highlight of everyone’s lives for them to keep showing it. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Apparently all the #battleroyale computers run on a *nix.
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Good jorb hacking, nerds, but Bleach guy has some other plans. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Also he has like a million bullets. All the bullets ever. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
4 left! WHO WILL SURVIVE THE #battleroyale?!
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
3 left. Bleach dude is down. I repeat, Bleach dude is DOWN. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
I love that bandana dude is a super secret total dick. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Oh, he wasn’t a super secret dick after all. SURPRISE SURPRISE. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Awwwww, the teacher’s painting it lovely. I wish I had a print of it in my house! #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Squirt gun?!?! LOL LOL LOL LOL! #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
At the very least, I am glad he got a cookie before he died. Parting is such sweet sorrow. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Bandana gets his resolution, but I still don’t give a damn. Push his corpse overboard. #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
It’s over now. Why have I done this?! What am I doing with my life?!?!? #battleroyale
— Joe Dillingham (@TheBlackLaser) June 21, 2012
Over all, some pretty valid questions raised by this whole thing. What AM I doing with my life??
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