Dear The MTA,

Months ago, after spending many months prior building the connection between the 7 train and the E and M trains at Court Square in Long Island City, you decided you then needed to close the brand new same-station connection to do track work on the 7. That was, what, maybe December of last year? People were furious. And understandably. You inconvenienced riders for months to build the connection and, as soon as it was open and they’d breathed a sigh of relief, you closed the damn 7 train at Court Square. Fuck that!

Signs sprouted all over the station informing people that the track work would be finished April 2nd, 2012. No one believed you. I mean, I didn’t take a poll or anything, but I am going to assume no one believed you. Why would they? You don’t exactly have a sterling track record in this area. We lived with exiting at 21st St and walking over to the other 7 stop for months. It was a pain, but we dealt. How the hell else are people supposed to get into town?

We heard the announcement every single time we stopped at every single Court-bound G stop. There was no 7 service at Court Square. You need to get off at 21st and walk over to Hunters Point. So on and so forth ad nauseam. It became like a little song, like the regular “Stand clear of the closing door” announcements you hear so often that they cease to be words and become a collection of sounds, meaningless, musical, abstract.

And then, April 2nd happened and the 7 train at Court Square started running again exactly as you had promised. I was absolutely amazed. Amazed. And surprised. And shocked.

And that’s what this letter is about. I am not writing to express gratitude to you for opening on time, when you said you were going to, but to express how thoroughly disappointing it is that I am amazed, surprised, and shocked that you did something on time, as you initially claimed. Fuck that. Doing things on time and on schedule should be the base. Yes, I understand that sometimes projects get out of hand or things change and deadlines push and expectations have to be shifted, but that should be the exception, not the rule. To have me absolutely astounded that you managed to finish a project when you said you were going to is fucking pathetic.

FUCKING. PATHETIC.

I work in a fast-paced industry where deadlines are tight, nights are long, and the work is hard. We will work around the clock to make sure we meet our clients’ expectations because that is how we keep our jobs. If we were to behave as you do, MTA—letting deadlines slip, projects drag on, budgets explode—we would be out on the street without a penny to our names. And we don’t even do anything that actually has real benefit to people! When was the last time you heard someone say, “Man, I couldn’t get to work/school/whatever on time because the advertisements were late.” Never. But how many times have you heard, “Man, I couldn’t get to work/school/whatever on time because the G is down again for some fucking reason and the god damned L isn’t running into Manhattan and the 7 isn’t connecting and for some reason the M doesn’t come into Queens on weekends, so I had to go all the way downtown, then all the way back up, and what the fuck, I hate the MTA.”

I hear that all the time. Literally all the time. I don’t know if you know, but when you use “literally” to describe something what you’re saying is “the words I am using mean exactly what I am saying and in no way am I using metaphor, hyperbole, or any other literary device”. So imagine, MTA, what it means that I hear that literally all the time. Yeah. I know. It’s terrible.

And can you do something about these fucking metrocard bonuses? Why don’t they just work out to an even number of extra rides? It is infuriating to have like 4 extra metrocards in my wallet, each with less than a single fare on them. Get your shit together!

I hate that I have to rely on you.

Sincerely,

The Black Laser.

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