See this?
Do you know what this is? If you’ve been keeping up on all the blogs, you do, but let me illuminate you in case you haven’t. This magical little turd is the new SARCASM PUNCTUATION MARK which you can buy from US-based Sarcasm Inc., whose site is down right now, for use on the Mac, Windows, the iPhone, Blackberry, whatever.
Seriously, guys? Are you kidding me? That is the stupidest fucking idea ever. I’m not even going to indulge these people by posting sarcastic remarks in this post. Do we really need to dignify sarcasm with a brand new punctuation mark? And do we really need to BUY IT? I’m pretty sure I get all my cues regarding whether or not a statement is sarcastic from context, just as people have done it since the beginning of verbal communication. No doubt sarcasm has been around that long.
What’s next? The irony mark? Maybe a schadenfreude mark? How about a mark to indicate that I’m writing something in an e-mail to someone that I don’t really care about but feel obligated to explain so that they’re not confused even though it would only take them two minutes to research it on Google? Give me a fucking break. As David Lynch said, “Get real.” How about you learn to insert the proper clues into the text to indicate that you are being sarcastic? If you can’t do that, it’s probably best to leave the fucking sarcasm out of your work e-mails. Stick to declarative statements and everything will be just fine.
I know… I hate when people do such stupid things!! what a waste of time…. they think people will actually use this shit!!!1
some people need these structures, symbols, rules to be laid out for them very clearly, and at all times. especially if it comes at the effort of others. these people are useful for what i call “culling the herd.” i saw an online quiz question once that was this, “do you think the world would be better without stupid people?” my answer was a resounding “no.” why would i want to level the playing field. their failings makes it easier for me to look awesome. and my only goal in this life is to step on the backs of morons as i climb to the top. but getting the moronic shit off of your shoes is quite a hassle sometimes. i wonder if the website selling the above mentioned symbols sells moronic shit shoe cleaner?
Martin, I am glad you see it my way.
Lauren, your cutthroat view of the world is refreshing. I honestly hadn’t thought of it this way. Being a narcissist, I am incapable of seeing it in any other terms than how it directly affects me. Call me nearsighted. Call me arrogant. Whatever. I appreciate your ability to turn it around and see the stupidity of others as a boon where I only see it as a bane. Overall, you have a very positive outlook on life, I think.
Ohh I am soo gonna buy that (insert symbol here).
If I act in the next 5minutes will I get the shoe cleaner symbol as a free gift?
No, but you can get a second symbol, plus shipping and handling. But that’s not all! You can also get three slapchops, a magic bullet, a set of ginsu knives, and a sham-wow, FREE!
i think the bonus gift in addition to a sham wow is drugs and beating up hookers. so that being said, if you buy the symbol-that-shall-not-be-named you’re headed down a sad sad path to mediocre banality (yes worse than regular banality)and unimportant opines. YOU KNOW WHAT? they should totally market this baby on all the news channels that use tweets and facebook wall comments as news worthy segments during their shows! the symbol-that-shall-not-be-named will reign and all subjective thought will crush its opposition as we are heralded into the land of idiocracy so soft and sweetly it will be like a celebutante slipping into that coma white death of pills and the skeletal frame of a former human.
symbol-that-shall-not-be-named should go on root of all evil.
Thus spake the Lord!
This has to be the most intelligent punctuation mark ever created……….
See? No squigly turd needes
Seriously, though, a Schadenfreude mark would be awesome — just think how easy it’d be to troll people by using a single typographical symbol, instead of writing “lol”, “sux 2 b u” or anything else involving more than one keystroke.
i think they want that mark for people who cannot understand or produce correct forms of sarcasm. i vote for the schadenfreude punctuation. it could look something like this:
.,|,,
I actually really like that. You are a genius, Peter. Dear The World, suck it. I laugh at your misery.