Dear In-Ear Sennheiser Headphones,

I purchased you earlier this year when I purchased my first iPod. I purchased the iPod because it became clear to me that I was about to lose my job which meant that my music library residing on my work computer would soon be a thing of the past. I like to have music with me when I work and the iPod has been invaluable to me as a freelancer since I can have my tunes with me no matter where I am.

Dissatisfied with the ear buds that ship with the iPod, I purchased a pair of in-ear headphones because I wanted something light to carry with me. I already own a pair of over-ear studio monitors of excellent quality, but they are bulky and take up too much room in my bag for me to carry around with ease. So I looked to you, little headphones, to help me solve my problem. And for the most part, you did.

You wonder then why it is I almost never use you? Why I still carry around the bulky over-ear headphones? Well, it’s not because of your sound quality. No, though not as good as my Sonys, you have quite decent sound for such little headphones. Impressive, really. And it’s not because I find you uncomfortable like those miserable iPod earbuds. Indeed, you are rather soft and fit quite nicely into my ear.

No. The reason I almost never use you is that you do such a good job blocking out sound, that when you are in my ears all I can hear is my breathing and heart beat. I find it a little unsettling and a lot like having a very comfortable stethoscope on that is pointed directly at my sinuses. Every intake of breathe reverberates through my ears when you’re in. Every sniffle, every wheezing cough, every swallow. It’s intolerable. If I wanted to have my head inside a jar, I would wear a jar on my head.

So little headphones, please don’t be upset. I just wanted you to know that it was an unforeseen aspect of your nature that causes you to sit in the drawer at home and not anything you did or didn’t do.

Sincerely,

The Black Laser.