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Month: October 2009 (page 1 of 3)

Happy Halloween!!!

This year I’m going as a modest nurse.* What are you going to dress up as?

I can’t see this movie and not think of my brother. It’s so great.

But be careful. Halloween is a time of DEMONS.

[flv width=”560″ height=”447″]http://www.theblacklaser.net/blog/wp-content/video/Happy_Halloween.flv[/flv]

But don’t be too afraid. Well, but VERY afraid, but only of people who want to steer you from Christ’s light, because, you know, they’re probably in league with the Gay Agenda or Terrorists. Or both.

*Not really. Sorry about lying.

A letter to the MTA regarding an unfortunate situation in the downtown 23rd Street F/V station.

Dear Metropolitan Transit Authority,

I understand that you are currently very busy in Albany trying to fleece New Yorkers for every last nickel and dime in our pockets while cutting service and overall making our lives hell. This is an admirable goal and one of which I am fond. Lining your own pockets through graft and corruption at the expense of hard working people in and around New York City should be your number one concern. Assuming that New York could ever have a public transportation system that was both useful and efficient is far too much. Surely that Herculean task can only be accomplished in such fantastical countries as Germany, France, and Japan. For this you are forgiven.

My specific complaint is regarding a lingering odor in the downtown 23rd St station for the F and V trains. If you walk through the turnstiles and make a right, about 1/3 of the way to the end there is a 15 foot stretch along the tracks where air comes down from the street that smells like shit. And I don’t mean that it just smells bad. It does that, but what I mean is that it actually smells like fucking shit. (Note, I am not referring to the scent raised by copulating with feces, rather I use the word fucking in its pejorative sense to express the intensity of my negative feelings about the smell.) Sometimes the odor resembles horse shit, while at others it’s more reminiscent of toxic human shit. Regardless of its current parfum du jour, it’s quite unpleasant. I do understand that this city is filled with surprising pockets of wretched stench sometimes so overbearing as to cause my eyes to water, but to have to endure the stomach churning stink of excrement every day in the subway after work on my way home is just plain unbearable.

Please rectify this situation.

Sincerely, a distraught rider,

Joe Dillingham.

PS – I don’t forgive you.

Youtube comment or e.e. cummings?

I thought this was too amazing not to share.

1. loog a his lirow nose

2. there is some shit I will not eat

3. LISN bud LISN

4. this i bad sorry to saY

5. leave her alone
she’s not your gal

6. She is Lucifierian !

7. THuNdeRB
loSSo!M iN

8. aThe):l

9. stunned. i. am. stunned. every question speaks to us

10. What is nothing?

I didn’t write or compile this. You can find the key at McSweeney’s.

Youtube comment or e.e. cummings? @ McSweeney’s

I love this man.

Any Williamsburger reading this should recognize this guy immediately as the mad who drive around in his red Subaru blaring old pop music and singing along on nice days. EVERYONE knows this guy. When he drives by, people always say, “Hey look, it’s that guy!” and everyone else within earshot is all, “Yeah, we totally know him too.” He’s been driving around in that car for as long as I’ve lived in the neighborhood, some years now. And you know what? Good for him. He’s out there having a damn good time, doing his own thing, bringing joy to those he passes. In the video he talks about some woman who spits on his car, which just baffles me. Why would you be upset about this guy driving around singing in his car? Are you afraid of having a little color in your hood? What is making you so angry? I don’t get it.

For all you folks who don’t live in the neighborhood or have never seen this guy out there, enjoy this fabulous little glimpse into the magic he spreads.

Dick Raaijmakers & Tom Dissevelt and the Ancient Creation of Electronic Music

This is a fascinating look at the prehistory of electronic music (1959!) and early production methods before computers were smaller than large rooms. Neat! Back then, basically a million years ago, electronic music was not the heavily rhythmic, structured style it came to be known as, but an ethereal, spacey, abstract thing, filled with bloops and bleeps and pulses and saws. That’s, of course, because there wasn’t yet any MIDI, drum machines, sequencers, samplers, or any of the modern implements of electronic music production. You can clearly see them actually splicing bits of reel to reel tape to create new sounds, taking a sample in the most literal sense and then manipulating it. Pretty awesome. It all predates even Kraftwerk, the clear grandfathers of the modern electronic music scene, whose breakthrough, genre-defining record, Die Mensch Maschine, wasn’t released until 1978. These Dutch guys in the late 50s were exploring the wild frontier with no rules, no definitions, and no expectations. Everything new and exciting, fresh. The world had never heard sounds like this before.

If this is interesting to you—and it had better be—then I recommend Popular Electronics – Early Dutch Electronic Music From Philips Research Laboratories 1956-1963, a compilation of very early electronic experiments from the Philips lab, obviously. It features music by both of the men in the video, Dick Raaijmakers and Tom Dissevelt, as well as some other folks. It’s not exactly the most listenable thing, especially by modern standards, but it’s fascinating as a historical document. Check it out.

Hecq vs Exillion’s “Spheres of Fury”

See this? This is exactly the style of thing I envisioned while discussing building a body of work. This video is super awesome. Let’s look at what you’d need to spend money on to recreate this.

  • Squirt guns
  • Smoke bomb
  • Lunch
  • Driving all these people out to a field

I was going to put “Costumes” on the list, but I know plenty of people who own clothes like this in real life, so there’d be no reason to dress them at all. Everything else is know-how. Of course, you could spend a fortune on something like this, but there’s no need to.

I’m willing to bet that it was shot on the 5DII or RedCam, more likely Red since the slow motion stuff is so silky smooth and there’s no rolling shutter on the flag. The super shallow depth of field is awesome. The grade is awesome. The cut is awesome. The concept is awesome. All in all, it’s fucking awesome. Totally inspiring.

The most macho thing I’ve ever posted on The Black Laser

Here at The Black Laser we encourage everyone to enjoy life. I also encourage undeniably manly displays of manliness. Take this video my friends made as an example.

Doesn’t that just make you want to go out hunt, kill, and breed? God, I can’t help but beat my chest at this. I feel like Tarzan and Conan and Samson.

42 Essential Third Act Twists For Writers

42 Essential Third Act Twists For Writers

This is totally awesome. I definitely know some stories and films with these twists, though I’m not sure “unreliable narrator” is a twist. Unless we’re considering Fight Club or something. Then I guess it works. I particularly like “Indian Legend Ignored”, “Land Assaulted By Ghost Boats”, and “Ancient Druids Lose Interest”. Nothing quite like cynical writers poking fun at themselves.

The whole thing here:

Dresden Codak >> 42 Essential 3rd Act Twists