I’ve been balling my eyes out all night because it’s always sad when washed up, child molesting monsters die suddenly of drug overdoses after living like recluses for over a decade. Sure, his contributions to the musical landscape were massive…20 years ago. He changed what it means to be a megastar, what it means to be a pop icon. But let’s face it—the man was a ruined, sick person. Has he contributed anything in the last ten years or so but scandal and public outrage? And all of these stars sending out press releases about how sad they are? Yeah, right. Whatever, guys. Where were you when he was being accused of child molestation? Oh, nowhere? WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE, YOU WORTHLESS FAIRWEATHER FUCKS. What a complete load of bullshit. To be perfectly honest, Michael’s probably in less pain now than when he was alive. And he was such an adorable kid…

I feel much worse about Farrah Fawcett’s death after a protracted battle with cancer. THAT is tragic.

But, so I don’t come off as a total creep and hater, here’s my favorite single Michael Jackson moment of all time.

Did you see that? He turned into a FUCKING ROBOT. Awesome. The only way it could have been better is if he’d been riding a unicorn or a dragon or some shit. If only all the plastic surgery he’d had in real life had turned him into a robot who rode a dragon unicorn and not a scary old white woman who wore pajamas to her court dates.

Here’s another gem from MJ’s career.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1959621678974565543

Oh shit. That’s Weird Al. Sorry.

Also, did you ever play that Moonwalker game on the Genesis? It was pretty awesome when I was like 8, but I played it like a year ago or whatever and it totally sucked.

Catch you on the go around, MJ.

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