I have returned from Eugene, OR

I have returned from my trip in the wild, wooly western frontier. I was privvy to some of the best of what Northern California and Southern Oregon have to offer. Here are some highlights of the trip.

The Beer Stein, Eugene OR – Any serious beer fan owes it to themselves to check out this place if they are anywhere near Eugene, OR. They have precisely 1 million beers for sale from all over the world. Oh, did I mention their prices? Rock bottom. Charlie and I were dancing back and forth along their massive refrigerator walls trying to decide just how we were going to punish our livers next. This place is fucking amazing. It puts my beloved Brouwerij Lane here in Brooklyn to total shame. I even called stupid Jesse to tell him how awesome The Beer Stein was, but he didn’t pick up. Sucker.

Wolf Creek, OR – Though we only stopped in Wolf Creek for a few minutes to stretch our legs and get coffee on the long drive between home and Portola Valley, I was fortunate enough to see not one, but TWO men with knives on their belts. Wolf Creek is the kind of town that can be found anywhere across our great nation where the city fades out and people are left to fend for themselves. We could have been in Alaska or Alabama and Wolf Creek would have been exactly the same. The United States is not its New Yorks and San Franciscos; the United States is the Wolf Creeks across our land.

Black Bear Diner – You can find Black Bear Diners up and down I-5, between Washington state and the southwest states. I put it here not because the food is good (it isn’t), but because no where else have I seen so many awful puns in one place. I kid you not, I saw a waitress with a nametag that read, “Ambear”.

The maybe 3 good photos I took – They’re not ready yet. Be patient.

Amazing roadtrip games – These include, but are not limited to “3 People You Would Take On A Roadtrip”, “10 People You Would Invited To A Pool Party”, “I Like My Women Like I Like My…”, and “If You Had To Get A Phrase Other Than ‘Exit Only’ Tattooed On Your Lower Back Right Above Your Ass, What Would It Be?” One of my favorite answers for the 3 people on a roadtrip game was Charlie’s “Helen Keller”.

Troy pouring himself a beer in the closed hotel bar – That’s it.

Andy Stearns – Yes.

That the whole trip to Oregon can be summed up in these three photos –

All in all, I would say that it was a successful trip and that a good time was had by all. Keep your eyes peeled for some photos I took while up there.