Wow. Just wow. Two dudes, two synthesizers, a drum machine, and a pair of the most boss mustaches I’ve seen in a long time. This thing is amazing. I especially like that there is almost no effort made to hide the fact that they are lip singing along to a track.
I love shit like this.
Well, Sleigh Bells are back. I guess I’m excited. I guess everyone is excited? Kind of? Actually, you know what? I am not that excited. Sure, the first record was neat and sounded like nothing else at the time when it dropped, but it didn’t really have legs. I never think, “Man, you know what I haven’t listened to in ages but totally should? Sleigh Bells.”
I will readily admit that I was genuinely interested when the trailer showed up for their next record.
Pretty cool, right? It teased with this idea that they were coming back with a harder edged sound, but this first single and video are a huge let down. More of the same, maybe even less edgy than the first record. Boring as fuck. Perhaps when we get the rest of the album, I’ll have to change my tune, but I suspect that is not going to be the case. Too bad.
With visuals that would have looked cheap by 90s FMV game standards, TopCat Films has clearly set out to set a new standard for cinematic excellence with this one. Here’s the stirring synopsis from IMDB.
Henry Howard an ambitious young scientist struggles to develop a super human serum designed to improve muscle mass and prolong life expectancy. His boss, the grumpy General Darwin, will not allow Hank to marry his daughter, Hannah, until the experiment is a success. Against Darwin’s wishes Hank proposes to Hannah anyway, but his life is shattered by a mugger who steals his engagement ring. Dejected, Hank injects himself with the experimental serum and is transformed into the Amazing Bulk. The Bulk goes on a rampage through the city destroying everything in his path. Hank is caught by a relentless detective, imprisoned by Darwin and forced to battle the sadistic Dr. Kantlove, who threatens to blow up the moon with his arsenal of weapons.
Poor Dr. Kantlove. I wonder if he’ll ever find love on his quest to blow up the moon? But I am pretty sure I’ll never like grumpy General Darwin.
You can watch this gem when it comes out on DVD in April. Does anyone want to do a Thankskilling/The Amazing Bulk double feature with me and then drink poison Kool-Aid™?
December was a decent month for me creatively. I managed to bring back good old Torgeir in a significant way. I really enjoy the hell out of writing that guy because it gives me a venue to be a complete dick. I often don’t believe the advice I am giving as Torgeir, but there are other times I kind of think that he’s totally right on. And then I get to slip into some recollection of his past in Norway and I am allowed to go totally nuts. And get dark. Really dark. And then I get to close the whole thing off by completely contradicting myself and recommending some of my favorite black metal to you guys. I get all sorts of positive feedback about the Torgeir columns that I haven’t gotten from anything else, so that is super great and inspirational to keep doing it.
As far as slowing my roll, that was more of a mixed result.
For the first half of the month I was very good about hitting the gym 3 times a week and eating super well keeping to my 80% paleo guidelines. And no doubt, I felt really good about it. I hit 190 pounds for the first time in I can’t even remember. I stepped on the scale expecting my usual 195~200 and the little red line stopped at 190. I actually yelled, “Holy shit!” in my apartment. Aloud. By myself. I proceeded to tell a bunch of people, of course. What would The Black Laser be without me broadcasting every stupid little thing I think or care about into the wild voids of the internet?
I had noticed that my body was changing, that I was acquiring better definition on my torso, but I just chalked it up to vanity. Then when I saw the 190, I realized that all the fucking push-ups and pull-ups and squats and all the other nightmarish things they were having me do actually made a difference. Holy shit, right? I was psyched.
But then Christmas party season rolled around and, as one does every single year, I spent the next three weeks drunk the entire time. It’s hard to motivate to get to the gym at 8am when you’ve only been asleep for three hours at that point. Oops. And then I went to California and sure as hell wasn’t going to the gym while I was there. Also drunk the whole time. And then I came back the 27th and have had no real excuses not to go except that I am a lazy fuck. And I ate badly. Stupid holidays.
So that’s no good. But what are you going to do? I am all paid up through May so it’s just a matter of getting my ass there. I can do it!
Look out for a wrap up of the entire Year of 12 Creative Projects and Slowing My Roll soon. Should be interesting to go back through the whole year.
I’ve always maintained that Japan produces the highest, most beautiful forms of art and the lowest, most vile. Zombie Ass is firmly in the second camp. It looks to me like it might be the stupidest, most offensive movie ever produced and I am not sure if that makes me want to see it or if it makes me want to run screaming away from it as quickly as I can. Hmmm. We are presented with many obstacles in life. I just hope they say “danger” throughout the film as much as they do throughout the trailer. That’s the best part.
DANGER. DANGER.
This video and song seem really really fucking stupid, but they are not. Listen to his lyrics. Irreverent, yes. Stupid, no. I like the fuck out of this.
“That’s a metaphor, another metaphor.” Brilliant.
Now, having watched a few of his videos, I am pretty sure this dude is some sort of hilarious, evil genius. Onward, Wallpaper!
I imagine the director pitched the concept for this video a little bit like this: a bunch of fashion model southwestern crust punks hang out on a garbage dump, ride dirtbikes, rob a convenience store, and then return to their squat to celebrate except that one is sad. Then she kills them all with a baseball bat in a slow-motion sexy way.
Did I get it? I think I did.
The track comes from 2011′s Living on the Edge of Time. It’s good. Check it out.
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